-Chapter 30-

-Update on: 14 July 2014-

3- Zelo cheering you up from depression

*Your POV
“I’m sorry to say Miss Choi, but we can’t save the baby.”
You stared wide-eyed at the doctor, mouth gape and tongue tied. You shook your head in disbelief, no it can’t be. No way.
You can’t be miscarriage. It was an accident!
An unfortunate accident!
Luck and blessing supposed to be in your defense but nothing really helped at the moment. Nothing. Nada.
“Are you s-sure? Maybe you miss look something? Or maybe even you accidentally swapped someone’s result with mine.” You tried calmly from having a panic attack.
But the doctor didn’t budge nor does he give any reaction to that question. Not even feeling surprise or guilty.
“No!” you screamed shakily, trying to persuade him to recheck the result.
It can’t be.
Not in the million years.
No.
“NOOOO!” you screamed frantically in horror from your bed, sitting up and getting into reality from your nightmare.
The dark and gloomy room engulfed your whole view and the cold night air slapped your face delicately, swirling your hair to the east. The lavender aroma flew into your nose sweetly before you felt something moving just next to you.
“Are you okay?” Zelo immediately switch on the night lamp from the nightstand and sit up from his laying position beside you.
You just sighed and buried your face in your palms. You face covered in sweats although the air conditioner is switched on.
You breathe shakily, finding yourself getting weak once again. You felt the tip of Zelo’s fingers touching your shoulder delicately, almost as if he was afraid you could break down any moment.
“Do you have a nightmare?” Zelo’s concern voice reached your ear and you stayed at your position still.
Slowly, he embraced you, rocking his hands on your arm when he realized you were crying. You grip into his shirt and wet it with your salty tears.
“Shhh, hey, it’s fine. Everything’s fine. Don’t keep on blaming yourself. It’s not your fault. It’s an accident. Accident occurred everywhere.” Zelo reasoned.
But his words hit you. Hard.
It was like, suddenly, the hard rock reality come crushing down onto you deeper and deeper than you had thought.
It’s been a month after your miscarriage. You couldn’t yet grasp onto the fact and you had been sulking yourself ever since inside your bedroom. You punish yourself with eating less and less from day to day.
Zelo was worried and so does everyone you knew.
While everybody keep on throwing supportive words to you, you didn’t take those in a very positive ways. You hate to be constantly reminded that you don’t have ‘him’ anymore.
Your baby.
He was supposed to be delivered just another 3 months from now. You were supposed to have him and finally looked into his eyes with so much adoration after the 3 months come to an end but it could never happened. You had lost him.
The fact that you can’t even sing and patted him from inside your stomach anymore depressed you. A big part of your life was definitely missing.
It’s an accident. Yes, it was in fact was an accident.
Nobody knows it could happen but you had before sense it would be coming and you blame your stubbornness for that. If just you could argue yourself even more. If just you could listen and be confident to yourself even more. If just you could prevent yourself before it happened. If just you didn’t even did that.
This thing wouldn’t have happened.
It first started when you told yourself you should get some fresh air outside the villa since you had been keep staying inside the villa ever since you know you were pregnant with ‘h