“I think I remember telling you a take ago to get rid of the painful look in your eyes, Myungsoo!”

            The actor winced and looked down, knowing that he wasn’t doing the best that he could do. He just couldn’t help it. Any other day and he would’ve been able to fake a smile. He would’ve been able to listen to every single criticism and be able to fix himself to fit what everyone expected him to. He would’ve been able to do a good enough job that he didn’t get bashed too harshly. Myungsoo knew himself that he wasn’t the best actor. He didn’t expect a standing ovation for his acting.

            Despite feeling his blood boil from the director’s demeaning tone, he just bowed apologetically, “I’m sorry, I’ll work harder.

The director rolled his eyes and turned away from Myungsoo.

            “Let’s take a break, everyone. Be back here in five minutes!”

            Myungsoo felt guilty as the entire set of people grumbled angrily, obviously all tired from the many times they had to do this scene over and over because Myungsoo couldn’t control his expressions.

            “’Hire a handsome idol,’ they said. ‘They’re not actually that bad,” they said,” the director mumbled under his breath. He glared at Myungsoo again before getting up from his chair and leaving, “I’m never casting someone like this guy again. I don’t care how popular they are.”

            Despite having condescending words that weren’t all that quiet, everyone else in the room decided to pretend that they weren’t said. Myungsoo wasn’t even able to hear the critical words properly. All he could think of was: Why did Sunggyu ask Sungyeol to go with him today? What are they doing right now? Wouldn’t Sungyeol be much happier here? He likes acting and he wants to get more better at acting and he could possibly get noticed by someone important here and—

            “I want him here with me…”

            “Who are you talking about, Myungsoo?”

            Myungsoo widened his eyes, realizing that he had said the last part aloud. He chuckled awkwardly and his eyes looked at everything but the girl in front of him, who he was supposed to be acting with for the scene.

            “I—uh, I didn’t say anything. No need to worry about it, Boreum. I think I just blanked out again. Sometimes words just come out…you know?”

            Boreum laughed, her eyes showing that she didn’t believe him.

            “Alright, you don’t have to tell me; but do know that I’m a couple of years older than you. I probably know a lot more about love that you would think. I hope it works out with whoever he is.”

            Boreum winked at Myungsoo before walking away. Myungsoo’s jaw was open, surprised that she had figured it out so quickly. Was he really that easy to read? He hoped not; he was supposed to be an actor, an idol, someone that was supposed to be able to put on a mask of any kind at any moment. He really didn’t just want to get everything handed off to him because of how handsome his face supposedly was.

            Sighing, he looked over his lines once again.

            They were very short—not even 3 pages long.

             It turned out that he didn’t have much of a big role in this drama, and it kind of hurt his head (and his heart) that Sungyeol would have auditioned for the small part of being the main character’s past self and not get casted, while Myungsoo was casted without an audition when he didn’t even know the part. He didn’t know anything about the drama before getting the whole script besides what Sungyeol had told him about it.

             He finished looking over his two lines quickly and moved so he was now in front of a mirror. He practiced his facial expressions again and again, trying to make himself seem as happy as he possibly could. However, it wasn’t really working out. He couldn’t keep the smile on his face for long without feeling guilty about Sungyeol not getting the part, about him getting it, about all of the other probably better actors that tried out for the part that he had gotten without any work. He felt terrible.

            Snapping himself out of his self-pity, he decided to accept what was given to him and just try his best. He looked down at the script of his scene again. They were doing one of his last scenes, where he was supposed to be happy with the past self of another character. They were, you know, supposed to be smiling and staring at each other with this stupid look of love in their eyes. He scoffed at the thought.

            Love…

            Myungsoo’s hands clenched around his script, and he found himself crumpling up the papers. He didn’t even realize that there were tears coming from his eyes until the words in front of him were stained with water and his vision became blurry. He coughed quickly and wiped his eyes, hoping that no one had seen him break down. He was so tired of hearing other people talk about how much of a spoiled brat he was, how stupid it was that he only gets casted because of looks, how he couldn’t sing but has a pretty face so it’s ok. He was tired of it, and he was tired of being reminded of all of the more hardworking and more talented people that continuously get turned down because they weren’t as handsome as him.

            The dark haired male glanced back at the mirror and tried to smile, another tear threatening to escape.

            “If you think that’s supposed to convince everyone you’re happy, I don’t think you know what people want in an actor, Myungsoo.”

            Myungsoo closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

            The director was back. Not getting a response from the actor, he sighed again. 

            “Whatever, you’re just L, the cool, quiet visual, right? Well, I had to talk with one of the higher-ups, and they told me that they absolutely had to have you in this drama because of your overwhelming popularity, so we’re just going with that infamous blank face of yours. That sound ok? You just have to have the same expression you have when you don’t know the answer to something during an interview. I’m sure you know the face I’m talking about. You practically do it all the time.”

            Myungsoo took in every word that the director was spitting towards him and he just nodded quietly, not wanting to speak up. He didn’t think he’d be able to control his anger this time. He knew he wasn’t emotionally stable at the moment, and just the thought you shouldn’t have casted me you should’ve casted Sungyeol was screaming inside of his head.

            “Good, now the break’s over. Everyone come back! We’re going to try this scene one more time,” the director yelled out.

            The director glanced over at Myungsoo again.

            “Please understand that you aren’t the main character. We can’t waste all of our time on you. This is your last scene. Don’t bother to come back after this. I don’t think we’ll need you for any of the other scenes.”