*Gdragon’s POV*

There was something up with Miho. She looked so deep in thought as she, Top, and I walked into an empty studio. She was more quiet than usual. I didn’t know if it was because Top was there or if I had done something. She had avoided hugging me, which I did catch back there at the office. I glanced at Top and he just shrugged. All three of us sat with our backs against the wall of the studio. Miho was the first one to speak up. “So…um…The rap. That’s probably the only thing I’m going to have trouble on. I can rap pretty well in Korean, but English is harder.” She said getting straight into business. No small talk or anything.

We went over the lyrics a couple times with her and she was already rapping better than we did. We stopped to take a break and sat back down against the wall. “Ya. Miho. You’re a fast learner.” Top said. She was sitting in between the both of us. Miho smiled for the first time since we got here and I frowned. I didn’t even manage to make her smile while we were practicing. Any attempt to be funny was completely shut down by her serious look. This wasn’t my Miho. Wait did I just say my? Gah! Snap out of Jiyong. This will risk your career and you know it.

“Thanks. I’ve always loved rapping.” She said coming out of her shell a bit. Top and her started talking and it was as if I wasn’t even there. He even made her laugh a bit. I felt my face burning. What was this feeling? Jealously? I huffed, stood up, and walked out of the studio. I could feel their eyes on me.

I sat next to the elevator and frowned at myself for acting so childish. I then heard the studio door open. I looked up expecting to see Top, but it was Miho standing in front of me. She had her hands on her hips and was looking down at me. “Gdragon ya. What are you doing?” She asked. There was a sad look in her eye. I stood up and now it was me looking down at her. She was about an inch shorter than I was. “What are you doing Miho? What happened? What did I do?” I said. I probably sounded like a boyfriend, but I didn’t care. I wanted to know what changed. Even if we had no chance with each other, I still liked her. She looked down at the ground silently, but I placed my hand under her chin and made her look up at me. “You didn’t do anything Jiyong. It’s me. I—“ She looked away from me again and sighed. “Look I’m just a little tired okay? I’ll be fine in a while. I’m sorry if I made you feel mad or something. I’ll see you tonight okay? And we can work on the song together.” She blushed a little at the last part she said. I didn’t believe that she was tired, but I accepted it and smiled at the thought of us working on a song together. I knew I was risking my friend’s careers and my own career. I already liked Miho, but I couldn’t let go any farther than just a crush. We both smiled at each other, then we were called to meet up with the others.

*Miho’s POV*

We all walked to our apartment. I kept trying to figure out why Gdragon had walked out of the studio in the first place. A smile played on the corners of my lips as the possibility of him being jealous came into my mind. If he was jealous, that would mean that he liked me. I mentally scolded myself. I wasn’t suppose to like him. I focused on pushing the code to our lock when Evelyn shouted “WE BOTH FARTED….” And covered her face.

I looked at her with a surprised expression. I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. “What?” Kiyomi, Sohee, and I said in unison. She looked up timidly. Her face was bright red. “We were working on the lyrics and talking. Then I farted out of nowhere! Then he started laughing so hard that he farted too! Ah Ta me chomh dur! Leathcheann! Leathcheann!” She started scolding her self in another language. Was it British? Irish? I bit my lip not to laugh and I looked at the others who were getting all red and trying not to laugh. Evelyn glared at us, “It’s not funny.” She said and pouted. I laughed a little and opened the door to our apartment. The first thing I heard was Jinju throwing up in the bathroom. I rushed to the bathroom and got there before anyone else. “Jinju!” She had her face in the toilet and was throwing up horribly. I knelt next to her and held her hair back. “Jinju.” I said rubbing her back. “It’s going to be okay.”

Sohee went to the kitchen and started cooking a special stew for Jinju. Kiyomi and Evevlyn went to Jinju’s room and got some fresh clothes for her. They came back with a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Jinju finished throwing up and washed out with mouthwash. She changed into the clothes and retired to her room without eating.

*Later at 10:00pm*

I took a shower, changed, and went into the room Kiyomi and I shared. I closed the door behind me and saw Kiyomi sitting at the edge of her bed. She looked at me, “Miho ya. Can we talk?” I sat the edge of my bed and nodded. “What’s on your mind unnie?”

“I think there’s something wrong with Jinju.”

“Well yeah, she has a bad fever and the stomach flu.”

“No, I mean there is something else wrong with her. I’ve seen this type of thing before. Haven’t you noticed she has been eating less and less each day? Maybe she’s doing this on purpose.” She said clearly concerned.

“Jinju wouldn’t do this on purpose. She’s just sick.” I said. I didn’t want to think about the possibility of Jinju actually doing this to herself on purpose. Kiyomi sighed and dropped the subject. We both went to sleep.

*1:00am*

My alarm woke me up and I shut it off before it could Kiyomi up. I looked over at her bed and saw her stir in the darkness. I bit my lip hoping she wouldn’t wake up and was relieved when she didn’t.

I got up and tiptoed into the hallway. I was about to leave the apartment when I heard a faint sound. It was coming from the bathroom. I walked over to the bathroom and the door was closed, but the light was on. The noise was clear now. Jinju was throwing up. I was about to knock on the door, but I stopped when I heard Jinju’s voice. “I need to be better. Skinnier. Looser. Better.” Then throwing up continued. My hand dropped to my side and I just stood there. I could feel the color drain from my face as I realized what Kiyomi had said was true. Jinju was really doing this to herself. I bit my lip and held back tears. I wanted to cry. This was the second time I couldn’t help someone who was close to me and Kiyomi had told me something that clearly concerned her and I just brushed it off like it was nothing. I had been so stupid. I walked out of the apartment and got down to the studio as quickly as I could. The tears were streaming down my face now. Jiyong had been waiting for me there and was taken back by my crying. He immediately pulled me into a hug. “Miho what’s wrong?” He said. My head was buried into his chest, my tears soaking his shirt. I looked up at him, “W-We need to go to YG’s office…p-pleassee…” I stuttered. He nodded and took my hand, leading me to the elevator.

*YG’s office*

Kiyomi was already there when we got there. She explained that she saw me leave and heard Jinju words too. “I’m sorry Kiyomi…I should have listened.” My eyes were still red and puffy from crying. I absentmindedly squeezed Gdragon’s hand which was still holding mind. YG didn’t seem to take any notice of it though. He leaned his elbows on the desk and placed his head in his hands. “So, you’re telling me the Jinju is anorexic. Is that correct?” We nodded. He then called the rest of BigBang and HeartBeat to come to his office immediately. I wondered what he was going to do. They rest of them arrived. Gdragon and I pulled away from each other and went to stand with our band mates. I glanced at a pale Jinju and sighed.

“Jinju…” YG began saying. He clasped his hands together and sighed. “You’re out of HeartBeat.”

She looked as shocked as all of us did. We didn’t expect him to kick her out. He proceeded with saying that she would need to get some help, like rehab or something. He ended with saying, “I am not doing this to hurt you Jinju. This is just something that has to be done. This life style might not be the right thing for you. I am sorry.” He sounded like a wise, old, Indian chief.

All Jinju did was huff and stomp out of the room. “Jinju! Ya!” I called after her, but she was gone already. I stood there, staring at the door she left through. I pursed my lips and stayed quiet. Guilt washed over me. I should have been there for her more. I should have noticed what she was doing sooner. I—My thoughts were interrupted by a comforting hand clasping my shoulder. I turned my head to see Sohee. “Miho…” She said, but I shrugged her hand off. “Leave me alone.” I muttered and walked out of the office.

*Gdragon’s POV*

We had been looking for Miho for hours, but no one could find her. We tried the studios, her room, and the bathrooms. She wasn’t anywhere. I finally got an idea. I turned to Top and Taeyang who were looking with me. “I’m going to check the roof.” I said and ran off without their approval. I knew how Miho was probably feeling right now and I wanted to be the one there for her. Something in me felt pain when I saw her in pain. It was as if we had a strong enough connection to where I could feel what she feels and I wasn’t going to let that go no matter what.

I used the staircase and ran up to the roof as fast as I could. My guess was right, Miho was there. She was sobbing and buried her face into her hands. “Miho ya.” I said softly kneeling next to her on my knees. She looked up at me with sad, red, puffy eyes and sniffled. “Oppa…go away.” She said starting to wipe her tears away. I took her hand away and wiped her tears myself. She sniffled again and I could tell she was holding back tears.

“I should have been there for her. I should have been able to help. I could have caught it sooner. I should have been paying more attention! I promised I wouldn’t let anyone else I knew or loved get hurt or go through something so horrible alone.” She started sobbing again and I pulled her into my arms. I hated seeing her like this. She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face into my chest. I tried to calm her down by her hair. It seemed to work because her cries became much quieter. I couldn’t help myself and kissed the top of her head. “Miho, this isn’t your fault. And what do you mean you promised? Who did you promise?” I asked keeping my voice soft.

“M-My…brother.” She said. I could barely catch her words, because they were muffled against my shirt. I tilted her head up and looked her in the eyes. “Your brother?” I said slightly confused. She pulled away from the hug, looking at the ground. I frowned. I must have said something wrong.

“My brother died when I was sixteen…it was my fault.”