No respond from him just like a dead body standing.

Jiyeon’s POV

I look at his eyes. It’s watery with tears but not falling down. He is controlling his emotion. It makes me even more cry hard. L please says something. Your silent stares are tearing my heart apart. He wipes the tears on my cheeks with his thumb. “Explain” he says coldly. “Explain me everything. Say that what I am thinking is wrong” he eyes are staring at my eyes with hopes.

“I am sorry L” I quietly speak up.

“That’s fine. Everything is going to be fine when you say what I am thinking are all wrong” he softly expresses.

“I wanted to say honestly since before I did about that form but by the time I am about to say is when we were already practising the song Loving You for the farewell party. So how…. How can I say that I am going? It was also so hard for me but … yeah… so I decided that I will explain it to you after the party” I restlessly explain and he is still in silence “I knew that you are going to be like this for sure if I tell you before. So in which emotion are we going to sing the song? Hunn!”

He roll his eyes left to right and right to left to control his fully tears in his eyes. “So does that mean you are going?” he calmly asks.

“But not now!” I say.

 “When? After one year or after this third year?” he smirks

“After this year” I softly answer.        “You should tell me honestly” he louden his voice making me shock.

“I told you L. I want to sing that song for the last time together with you….before I go”

He louder his voice “For what? For remembrance?” he smirks again.

Gosh this is killing me. His reaction is really killing me. I have no answer. I can’t say anything but silent.

“Is that because of your parents? Do they want you to go there?”

I answer honestly “No! It’s my choice”    “What!!!  So you chose to be away from me?” he furiously state.          “No L, it’s not like that. I love you. Of course I want to be with you all the time. But…I also want to challenge myself and I want them to be together. I want my family to be together. I want to try. I am sure they will be together if I try” I continuously express my feeling.

“So you decided to leave me alone? You are going to leave me alone for your good sake and your family?” 

“But I am not going for forever. I will be back after 3 years”  “3years?!!!” he says loudly.

“Even if I can’t see you for a weekend I am missing you like a crazy” his tears falling on his cheek. “But … But now it’s not even a weekend but 3 years. How am I support to live. Huhhh!!!” he grab my shoulder and shake with full of emotion, making me flopping like a fish in his hands. I have no energy. No energy to explain. “L” I call his name softly.

“Okay I am going now I don’t want to hear anymore” he leaves without looking back anymore. I just fall down where I was standing and sitting on the ground like a silly girl and looking at his back which is getting far and far from me.

It’s my entire fault. I was only thinking of myself instead I should have considered his feeling.

The next day at school

He doesn’t talk to me anymore and doesn’t even look at me. I walk to him and say “Can I talk to you after school” no answer but blink signifying he will.

After school

While sitting on the bench that we usually sit. The atmosphere is so depressing for both of us. He starts to break the silent.

“Do you have to go?” he asks hopelessly.

“I decided to” I softly answer. “What are you going to do there?”

“I am going to attend University. While attending, I will persuade my dad to come back here”

“Can’t he just come back?”          “He won’t. I know he won’t”             “Do you really love him?”

“Of course I do. I want to see him. I want his love for me”

Silent. The surrounding is so silent and we can even hear the sound of the wind blowing.   

He suddenly takes out his phone and a pair of earphone.  Connect them and hand me one side of his earphone.  Before he touch the play button, he says “This songs is really good” making a fake smile and continue “The title is ‘Stop this train’ by cloud Kelly. I am sure you will also like it” right after he finish saying, touch the play button.

“-------Isn't it always perfect at the start?-------

-----Isn't it the best damn thing that you've felt in your heart?----

----Doesn't everybody say we will never part?----

----Well I'm no different, never thought love was this hard-----”

I recommend you to listen the whole song ^^

Oh! Gosh the lyric is killing me. Those words are just like knife chopping my heart into pieces. I glare at him. He is feeling the mood while closing his eyes. Is it going to be the last time for us to listen to a song together? But why this kind of song?    

The song has stopped. And he stands up open up his arms signifying to hug me. I stand and hug him.

Our Hug is so tight as if no one can break up us. He then looks into my eyes and his face getting closer to my face. I close my eyes. He kisses me with his warm lip. The kiss I will never forget.

After a moment, he holds my hands and smile. I have no idea what he is doing.

He speaks up "Let's break up"

"What did you just say" I yelp in shock. "I said let's break up" he says sharply.

“L! What wrong?” I say in unbelievable tone.

"Let's break up” he repeats again without looking into my eyes.

"Do we have to?"  I question softly.

"Yeah! We have to. So that I won't bother you going there" I can see tears in his eyes. He is saying it painfully.

"But...." He doesn't give me a chance to explain.

"It had been really nice being with you over the past year"  

Just nice? I say in my mind. He continues "I wish you the best. Take care of yourself"

"Why are you being like that" I louder my voice. He shouts at me back "Because I don't want to miss you like a crazy, while you are away” he is extremely being serious.

“L I know it’s hard for you to understand what I say. I know my decision is not perfect. I know it hurts you a lot. But what will you do if you were me? Hun? I have never seen my dad…never…since I was born. Now I have opportunity to meet him. He won’t comeback until I persuade him to. I want to try for them to become together again. Plus, I want to get a degree from a University in USA. I want to challenge my life. And it’s only going to be 3 years. Can’t you wait for me for 3 years?” he listens to my explanation soundlessly. When I finish saying and waiting for his answer. He coldly responds “No…. I can’t wait for you? I don’t have that much of energy to wait for you for 3 years. I can accept all your reason however I can’t understand you, why you must choose the way that can break my heart.”

“L! Please don’t make me choose between boyfriend and family?”

“No! I am not making you choose, just letting you go. So that you can make a stronger decision” he smiles a fake smile and gives me a last hug. Without saying anything, he walks away while facing his back to me. After 4 steps, he turns around and says “Life is not fair but we have to accept the unfair life. And love is never perfect, it’s always attacked by something” gives me the last smile and wave his hand. He turns around.

His footsteps are bringing him further and further from me.

Here is the Link Claude Kelly - Stop This Train <-- in youtube for the song that they both listen together. 

You will be able to understand how L is feeling by listen to this song.

ps: i have changed the Foreword to make it more suitable for the whole story, so check it out.

Thank you all the readers and subscribers :)

I do really appreciate for your vote ^^

I love you all.... <3