L'POV

I wake up this morning and play our song “LOVING YOU” all the memories of the time when we had been together come back again. I still remember the time that we play together in the rain.  I think I’ll never be able to forget the time when we were together.

I try to endure this pain with another girl but it doesn’t work. Jiyeon-uh No One could take your place in my mind. After all what I realise now is that I love you more than I did before. I miss you Jiyeon, I miss you to death. But I want you to be with me, right next to me. Am I being so possessive?  It’s giving me a pain deep in my stomach because I know you are going.

The song has stopped. I take out my diary and open a new page start with the sentence …

“Jiyeon-uh how are you doing now? Are you missing me like I do?

Do you know that, when we together, our moments were so heavenly made up.

But these are all in past. I could no longer receive that as you leave me alone I have to start practise staying without you from now on. So that I will be able to survive in these 3 years’ time”   

My room door open two people come in who are Woohyun and Sunggyu. They look pretty mad.

"hey Mr L, how is going?...... Actually I already know the answer" Woohyun smirks and pads my shoulder.

Sunggyu is standing behind Woohyun while folding his arms. He speaks up "Why did you have to break up with her?"

"I am sure you already know the reason." I reply.

"Is that the only reason?" I move my look away and take a deep breath.

"So you think is all her fault. You break up with her ......"                          "I don't want to talk about that anymore" I cut him off.

Woohyun reacts "But we do" he pause for a minute. They are both stairing ng at me with their fiery eyes. I guess they mad at me because of the break up issue.

I change the topic "So, why are you guys here?" they don't answer my question instead they reply me with a question "So how are you feeling now?"

"I am okay, don't worry about me" I sharply reply. 

"No we don't worry about you. We worry about her. Do you think she is okay?" Sunggyu continues "We know that she is not okay, and we also know that you are...... not okay"

I louder my voice "So what do you guys want me to do? To bag her to say here? Huh!" Sunggyu looks at Woohyun, then he says “Okay leave it now, we come call you to go to Suzy’s birthday together”

“Are you sure that she wants me to go there? She doesn’t talk to me these days. I mean since I broke up with Jiyeon. I think she is mad at me because I broke with her friend”

“Come on just change your clothes, we still have to go to shopping centre to buy present” Woohyun commands impatiently. 

Jiyeon’s POV

My phone rings and I look at the caller name. It’s Yoona “Hello Yoona”

“Annyeong Jiyeon. What are you doing now?”

“Nothing”                                “Do you forget what date is it today?” she questions.

“No! Why would I? It’s Suzy’s birthday. I texted her last night but she didn’t reply me”

“Yeah, she is mad at you because of the broke up thingyi. But now she wants you to go to her birthday” she explains.

“I even bought a present already. By the way where is she going to celebrate?”

“At her grandparents’ house...Okay so just go there now. IU and I will be going now. We still have to help her prepare”  

At Suzy’s grandparents house

Although it’s her birthday party, I can’t see anything special. Nothing really has prepared yet and no one is there expect from IU and Yoona. 

I ask “So what shall I do now? We have to prepare right. What time is the entire guest going to come?”

“No one gonna come. Just us … me, you, IU, Yoona and the guys” Suzy replies.

“Arrr I see, so just us! By the way where are your grandparents?”

“They are going somewhere” her phone rings. She looks at the caller name and switch it off. And then, she continues “I think this birthday going to be . Actually I was thinking all of us to go somewhere like ice-skating or bowling but since we are in unpleasant situation I don’t want to go now” she looks at Yoona. “We used to be very happy in our birthdays right?” then she moves her eyes on me “Actually I didn't invite anyone. It's Yoona who call everyone. I am sorry but I cancel my birthday today. So you guys can go now"

I glance at Yoona and IU. They are just silent. “Suzy-uh why are you being like this? We can still celebrate your birthday happily” Suzy grabs a chair and sits opposite to me. She stares at me for a minutes, then sarcastically ask “How are you feeling now?” I was frozen in shock for a moment. Although I've already known that she is mad because of the break up issue, I have never expected her to treat me like that. The room has become silent since no one is talking. Then Suzy starts to open up her feeling and reaction to our break up issue “You guys are just stupid, BOTH of you” she is completely serious. 

“The point is that you don’t want to give up each other and the pride between you and L, which is making you two away from each other. And you know what?  YOU  ARE  SELFISH ?”

I can’t understand what she is saying. So I have to cut her off “what do you mean pride? We don’t have pride between us. We love each other with pure love”

“ha haa.. FUNNY” she smirks. “What?   Pure love” she rolls her eyes. “If your love is pure why would you leave him and decide to go to another country? Don’t you think about him? Huh!”

Her face comes closer to me and say intensely “The reason is because you love yourself more than him” I can’t say anything but listen with full of ashamed what she is saying is right though.

She continues “I am not only blaming on you, I don’t think L is right either. If his love is pure, why can’t he understand you? It’s for your better future. Why can’t he wait for you?” Suzy herself answer her question “That’s because of his pride is more than his love. He doesn’t want to be leave by you, that’s why he is the one who started to say to break up. Am I right?”

Yes, what she is saying are all right. It is actually no one’s fault that we are at a distance. It’s our fault, we are the one who choose to be like that.

“Actually it’s not even my business. But the point is you both are my friends. I can’t stand anymore seeing you two like this.”  She walk away from me. When she reaches the room door she stands there for a minute. I glance at that place. L, Woohyun, Sunggyu and Donghae are there, standing there and staring at her.

She speaks coldly “Did you hear what I said? …. I am sure you did" she smirks "By the way you guys can go now. This birthday is cancelled. Thank you for coming” Then she points outside the room signifying all of us to leave. We all glance at each other. Finally we have to leave.

"Yoona-uh I want to go by myself" I request Yoona to leave me alone. "Are you Ok?" I nod. "Are you sure?"

"I am ok don't worry, Bye now..."

On the way to home, everything what Suzy said has reflected in my though. It's really make me feel guilty. Am I being so selfish? Or Should I apologise L more? Will L wait for me if I explain him fully. Why can't he? I know he loves me. 

The conscience fighting against each other. It is a really difficult situation for me. I am thnking......thinking all day about what should I do.  

Finally I have made up a decision. 

Yes I should explain him more or if he still can't comprehend me. I will have to think about it again, whether to go or not. I can just visit to my dad and I can make a successful career here, in this country.

L, Please allow me to come back to you.