I stared at him frozen on my spot, the noise of the people going in and out of the café had become almost inaudible at the moment. My eyes opened wide upon listening to what he was asking me.

“Come again?” my hands were on the table as his lips curved into a mischievous smile.

“Japan” he repeated “I’m asking you to come along with us to Japan” his gaze landed on me so quickly it took me by surprise. I pouted, he must have lost his mind, I did agree to go on a date with him, but I never expected the date to be outside Korea. Especially when it required tagging along with them. With CNBlue.

I crossed my arms, quickly shaking my head in disagreement, “Not possible” I simply stated. His eyes grew big, and he leaned a little bit closer to me.

“Why not?” he inquired

My mouth hung wide open for a little before actually speaking, “I can’t even calmly have an espresso here with you without feeling preoccupied, and you want me to go to Japan? No”

“Stubborn as always I see” he hissed. Jonghyun started tapping his finger against the table as he scanned me, “Geez, I will pay for your ticket and will take care of you, why are you afraid?” Like things could be that easy, well, maybe because he was living the life of an idol things could be that easy in his opinion, but no, it was actually more serious, what would people think?

“I don’t want to hide from your fans” I said as low as I could so no one around would notice. At the moment I was wearing sunglasses and was trying my best not to attract attention, Jonghyun was wearing a cap and sunglasses as well so he wouldn’t be recognized by the passersby or fans.

I didn’t want to be a burden to him. In fact, I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, I had already bothered my best friend to the point he had probably got tired of me so I didn’t want Jonghyun to feel bothered by me either. For a moment I had forgotten about it, I had forgotten the fact that they were no longer the same guys I knew, but now they had been part for years of one of the best bands in the world, and I was nothing but part of their past.

But all in all, I knew my presence would bother Minhyuk the most, he was tired of me already after so many years, or at least it seemed that way. It was silly though, thinking that way, being so overly dramatic like that. Perhaps after having reunited the same feeling from those years was coming back, the feeling that I could depend on him, the feeling that he would always be there for me no matter what.

But I perhaps was just being selfish in thinking that it would always be like that, when the truth is that us we grow older, we change, our behavior changes, our way of thinking changes, sometimes, even our feelings change. It took me a while to understand though, it took me a taste of reality to understand though, that love wins over friendship. That Jinae was the one he would probably want to take care of these days, thinking that he would always look over me was wrong.

I was wrong. That childish belief was wrong, perhaps I came off as selfish to him, not letting him live freely because I was a burden. Even when Jonghyun cared enough, Minhyuk would still worry. Even if Jonghyun was there, he would still worry, and now, he finally had enough.

“Are you alright?” a hand over mine bringing me back to reality, his soft whisper alerting me of my surroundings.

“Yeah…”

“What were you thinking about?” he asked, slightly concerned over the fact that I was spacing out so easily in a public place. I shook my head no, trying in a way to shake off that strange sensation as I did.

“Nothing, Jonghyun, don’t worry” I tried to answered confidently but I was afraid of coming out as cold or as rude, Jonghyun really didn’t believe me that there was nothing going on, I could see it in his eyes. But I couldn’t bother him with my worries, I couldn’t actually tell him that I couldn’t just accept his offer because I was worried about bothering Minhyuk, he could misunderstand my words… but, after all, I couldn’t actually understand if there was something he could misunderstand, or if everything was in my mind.

“Why don’t you take some time and think about it? It could be fun” He stated. Fun? Of course, I mean I wouldn’t say no to a trip so easily but thinking about his status as an idol then I would have to be more worried about him than about me.

“But I—“

“Let me tell you a secret, once our full Japanese album is out, we’re going to have a tour around Japan, you get to come to our concerts and also know Japan, how does that sound?”

“Tempting…”

“Then, why not?” I tried not laughing out loud at his stubbornness

“That’s not a date, it’s a trip and I haven’t finished my college semester yet” I explained, he finally seemed to be understanding that I also had a life, he must have forgotten that I studied and that I couldn’t just leave Korea so simply like that.

“Still, it would be nice if you came along, even if just for a few days, but I’m not going to force you”

“Ok… I’ll think about it, but if I can’t go now, then… can I go later? Maybe for one of your concerts?” I asked. I had never been to any of their concert tours and the idea didn’t sound bad at all. Going as a fan I mean.

“That’s going to take a while, but sure—You know, if you get to change your mind, drop by our dorm, you can say hi to the guys, talk to Minhyuk—“

“I’d rather not…” I interrupted him, gaze fixed on my espresso, “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable” but in reality, the least I wanted to do at the moment was talking to Minhyuk, I didn’t want to bother him out of all people, bother him even more than I already had.

“It’s cool, after all, we did bother you once by staying in your flat, it’s only logical for you to go to our place”

“And it’s only logical for you to go to that script reading before you leave to Japan!” I reminded him of a part of his schedule. It was all over Naver, that Lee Jonghyun was going to be on a new drama and that he was going to act alongside other actors like Kim Woo bin and such.

“You should work as an assistant over at FNC, I swear” He laughed.

“People always made me act as your assistant, remember Valentine’s Day? I had to deliver chocolates and letters to you” I pointed out. He smiled as he remembered those days, it was become comfortable talking to him once again, without being fighting like when we ran into each other after so long.

“But you never gave me anything”

“Liar, I did! On our last year of High School” I retorted.

“Why is your memory so good?”

I smiled in triumph, “Because it always was better than yours” We continued talking about random things, forgetting a bit about the trip to Japan issue, and soon enough the waiter came with the bill. Jonghyun took out his wallet and started searching for his money.

“Still not know how to count?” I joked around.

“How funny” He hissed.

We both left after he received his changed, his offer was still there for me to consider, and even if I did want to say no, perhaps the eagerness of knowing a new place to me was still there.

But something was preventing me from saying yes straightaway. He was preventing me from saying yes to Jonghyun.

“Whose jacket is this and why is it over the sofa when I have just finished cleaning?!” I shouted startling Jungshin with the sudden noise, his eyes widened when he heard me.I stared at Jungshin who was resting on one of the couches while reading a magazine, he lowered it and pouted

“Why are you so noisy right now?”

“Is it yours?” I asked almost straightaway.

“No. Don’t look at me, that isn’t mine, it’s too small to be mine” he explained as he went back to reading his magazine.

“What is with all the noise when I’m trying to compose?” Yonghwa said as he took off his headphones and put them on the table.

“Hyung, is this yours?” I asked while showing him the jacket that was thrown over the sofa by God knows who. It only took some seconds to make the living room a living mess, and what made it worse is that no one would clean the mess because it wasn’t their turn.

“Apparently…yes?” Yonghwa answered.

“Hyung, come on, don’t leave things lying around just like that when I just finished cleaning!” I whined, handing him over his jacket. His eyes opened wide upon hearing me, he was clearly surprised at how I was behaving that day.

“Aren’t you a little touchy today?” Jungshin asked from behind his magazine, hiding half of his face, probably feeling scared that I would throw something at him due to my behavior.

“No” was my simple answer.

“You are nagging even more than usual, chill” the sound of him flipping the pages of his magazine could be heard and it was exasperating me by the second.

“Wouldn’t you too be if you made an effort in having everything clean and then bam! It’s all messy again?”

“Minhyuk, it’s just a jacket” Jungshin replied.

“Is something wrong?” Yonghwa asked as he made me take a sit on the sofa, patting me on my head trying to get me to calm down, “You’ve been a little…”

“Annoying” Jungshin interrupted.

“I wasn’t going to say that, but…” Yonghwa continued.

“Oh good, I’m annoying, nice to know, see who cooks today then” I said as I rose to my feet just to be dragged down to the sofa again by Yonghwa.

“Can we talk?” Yonghwa asked, his voice sounding concerned and his eyes searching for a reason behind my behavior. It all started earlier this morning with a phone call, a phone call I shouldn’t have overheard but did because hey, I like making myself feel miserable.  Ok, no I don’t—I just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time most of the time, and it had come to the point when it got to me.

I knew whom he was talking with earlier, of course, it was easy to know by the way he spoke and by the way he looked just liked I did when I talked to her. She and Jonghyun were going to go out and chat and it was just my luck that I ended up hearing them both.

“What do you want to talk about, hyung?”

“What’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird for some days now, first you were locked inside your room, once you were out all you do is complain, nag and complain some more” He was right, perhaps I was letting out my frustration at them. I was still really mad at Jinae due to what she had done, perhaps if she had never taken her keys then none of this would have happened.

“Sorry, hyung…”

“You need to start going out, meet some people and probably date? For how long have you been single?” Jungshin asked, now he was sitting on the couch, the magazine made into a roll as he looked at me.

“For how long have YOU been single?” I replied, Jungshin pouted,