I always used to sit alone in the back of the classroom always staring at the rest of my classmates from that spot I was sent to the first day of classes, being a transferred student during the middle of the semester wasn’t quite easy apparently. I missed my Seoul life, I kind of wanted to go back. If it hadn’t been for that unexpected turn in my life, then I would have begged my parents to take me back to Seoul immediately.

I found a friend, someone who was actually willing to talk to the new student that other people wouldn’t even look at, a girl, beautiful in appearance and in behavior, she was always smiling, her eyes were always bright and cheerful, it took me by surprise actually, that she would just come to me and start talking to me asking me questions as though we had already been friends for a long time. She made me feel at home, she made me feel like I was talking to my friends back in Seoul.

It felt nice, she wasn’t one of those popular spoiled girls, but rather she would just be friendly to everyone, I didn’t think that she’d have anyone who would dislike her, she was not the kind of person you can just easily dislike. She always sat in between two boys, those three, they were always laughing together, smiling to each other, and they seemed to be the best of friends. Never leaving each other’s side, when I saw them I always thought ‘If the world were to end tomorrow, those three, they would be right by each other at that very moment’.

At least that was my first impression until the day she came up to me, smiling like she knew me already, had it been someone else I would have probably told them to stay away from me, but I couldn’t tell this girl that. Not when she was just being friendly to me who had all of her friends back in Seoul. She was nice, I couldn’t deny it, at first glance; she wouldn’t be the type of girl who I would hang out with.

Probably because I was just like her in my previous school, I was the one who was like that, if it had been a normal situation then we wouldn’t have been able to even say ‘hi’ to each other. Popularity? I had that, but she had something I lacked back in Seoul, modesty. I had a big group of friends following me around the school, following me around the shopping mall, getting our nails and hair done, getting new clothes, that stuff. She though, had people who she talked to but had two best friends who were always there for her, true to her. Whereas I had more friends of course, but were they honest with me? No, not really, I could tell, but I didn’t care.

The more I got to know her, the more I wish I could have someone to trust blindly in, just like she did. I wish I could have someone which I could joke around and playfully hit just like she and Jonghyun did. I wished I could have someone who would rush around for me if I needed something, just like Minhyuk. I wished that someone had waited for me outside the classroom until I finished my club activities, just like she and Minhyuk would wait for Jonghyun to finish his activities at the judo club.

I wasn’t quite sure about how to approach those two, they would regularly talk to me, just because she was talking to me, even if she tried hard to get me to fit in their group, once she was gone then it was hard to not be awkward with them. They were kind of course, but at first it was uncomfortable being left with them during lunch break for example. Little by little we stopped being so awkward though, and I felt like I fitted in.

Thanks to her, I had found a group of friends whom I could spend my last two years of high school, it was nice. I wasn’t part of the world those three shared, but I had at least been allowed to be a tourist who could casually come in and out of that place they lived in as she pleased. When they weren’t around though, things were different, since I actually felt I was part of her world, and that made me happy, I had a friend, a true friend.

“Geez, you really aren’t going to tell me who you like?” girls talk, the usual, chit chatting about who was the most handsome boy in our classroom, asking each other who we liked, but the answer was almost the same each time I asked.

“No one at all”

“That can’t be true, it’s either one of those two isn’t it?”

“Nope, none, why should I like them like that? Aren’t they my friends?” she would reply, innocent, she was so innocent it sometimes got me. I felt like saying ‘Choose one already girl! You have two of the most handsome guys in this school as your friends, what are you doing with your time?’

As for me, I could just silently gaze at the boy I liked from my desk at the back of the classroom. I had come to love his brown eyes, his black hair and his wonderful smile, he was dazzling in my eyes, that’s how I, Kwon Jinae, saw Lee Jonghyun. As a boy who was totally out of my league, not that I wasn’t pretty, but I wasn’t an idiot either, I always said to myself, if it was her, then she would have him almost immediately, with just the words ‘I like you’ she could be able to have him in a matter of seconds. The way he always joked around with her, head locked her just to make her laugh, those two were always so loud it sometimes got annoying. Sometimes he would throw her over his shoulder even if she complained, I was positive he liked her, and even if I had no right to feel jealous I almost always did.

It was the same for Minhyuk, the way he looked at her from his desk, the way his eyes lighted up when he saw her entering the classroom, the way he smiled when they were walking arm in arm when they arrived at school, it was obvious to me, he was so into her, his smile was always there when he was with her. He probably never knew, but he totally made it obvious that time when they were passing notes to each other under their desks, his eyes were attentive whenever she would answer his notes. I never knew what they were talking about, but they were smiling at each other, my guess back at that time was that they were planning something for Jonghyun’s birthday, because they made a surprise party for him later on.

The jealousy started rising to a point I never saw coming, to a point of no return, even I couldn’t believe myself. I never knew that just the mere idea of Jonghyun possibly liking her would make me become such a horrible person later on. I became such a calculating person, I couldn’t even understand what was going through my teenage mind who was just filled with Jonghyun, only with him and the idea of never letting those two get together.

Even if sometimes that would distract me to the point of even falling to the floor as we ran in our P.E class and then being taken to the infirmary by our teacher. All of that because I had been looking at the other side of the courtyard in which the boys were also taking classes, of course my eyes were always at Jonghyun during that class.

“Jinae, please stay here for a while until you feel better” the teacher spoke quietly and applied medicine on my knees.

“I can’t imagine the bruises this will cause, how would you even fall like that?” I shrugged and shook my head. If I told her that I had been looking at a boy then she would probably make fun of me, as though she hadn’t been a teenager like me, a young girl with a crush on one of the most attractive boys in the school.

“It’s going to be ok, it’s not like I broke my ankle or something-- I’ll be alright”

“Alright, I’ll go back to the class, after it’s over I’ll come and check on you” that teacher was always so helpful, I really liked her the best out of all the teachers, after all, thanks to her class I could take a glance at Jonghyun running or doing some kind of sport, since it would have been awkward if I had actually followed him to the judo club back then. I could have been considered a stalker, who would have guessed that years later that term actually would fit me? I never saw it coming.

But the jealousy was something I couldn’t control, I tried to fake it, but still, deep inside I was burning with jealousy every time I saw them together. I didn’t have the right to, after all, she and Jonghyun had known each other for years while I was just …just someone. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to have that same impact she might have had on his life.

Steps could be heard coming close towards the door of the infirmary and strikingly familiar voices resonated louder in that hallway by the second. It couldn’t be, right? I wanted to tell myself that it wasn’t who I thought it was, but that was like asking for snow to fall in summer.

“Why are you so careless, why?!” I could hear shouting on the other side of the door. It was his voice, Jonghyun’s voice, it startled me. The door flung open and the first thing I saw was Jonghyun carrying my ‘best friend’ in his arms. He seemed to be mad at her for something, apparently she injured herself too. Did she have to ask for Jonghyun to carry her over to the infirmary?

Probably not, probably he rushed from the other side of the courtyard when he saw her getting injured and ‘forcefully’ carried her in his arms against her will. Oh knight in shining armor Lee Jonghyun, why wouldn’t you something like that for me? Oh, I forgot, you probably don’t care.

“It’s alright just put me down” I can walk, girl, that’s obvious, you were just playing the victim there in front of him. Smart move, I probably would have done the same, if Jonghyun cared for me, of course.

But the moment he sighed in exasperation and put her down to the floor, the cry in pain when her foot touch the floor made him quickly carry her in his arms once again. She wasn’t lying, well guess she didn’t use cheap tricks like I did. She was hurt for real, oh good timing, and I just had to watch that scene in front of me.

“Are you alright? Why are you here? Something happened?” I casually asked, trying to get my mind of everything I was thinking at that moment. Jonghyun made her sit on one of the stretchers in the room.

“She just happened to fall off and dislocate her ankle” he explained as he looked around, probably searching for the nurse.

“Jinae, how are you though?” she suddenly asked, trying to hide the pain she was going through at the moment, her situation was more serious than mine obviously, but she still was caring enough to ask me. I tried forcing a smile on my face, because it made me feel uncomfortable, that I had got to dislike her and she cared for me.

It made me feel uncomfortable that Jonghyun cared so much for her that he even had to carry her in his arms. But she was hurt and I just had to understand, that added to the fact that I had no right to feel like this, but I still did nevertheless.

“I’m alright, it doesn’t hurt as much… how are