The call died simply like that, Minhyuk hung up on me.

I was so stupid to ask about Jonghyun, I wasn’t aware of what I was asking. I couldn’t understand why…but the answer was simple, right at that precise moment, all of what had happened was on my mind so I just unconsciously asked Minhyuk about Jonghyun.

I couldn’t believe I was so careless and stupid, who in this world actually can break a promise so easily? A simple promise like that? Not to kiss your ex and not to talk as much to him. It wasn’t that tough…but then there was Jonghyun, confusing me each passing second, trying to make me believe that all he was saying was actually sincere.

What is worst, I could actually feel as though I believed him, there was something about that kiss that made me feel like I used to feel  5 years ago. I didn’t want to feel like that, I wanted to avoid it all costs, but right then, he just wouldn’t leave my thoughts and I hated myself for it. I, who didn’t want anything to do with Jonghyun was there, still sitting on the floor, the scene still fresh in my mind and replaying endlessly in my head.

But after a few minutes I would return to reality and look at my phone’s screen, Minhyuk’s number still on it. For some reason I didn’t feel as good, I really wanted to do something to try and get Minhyuk to forgive me, I knew he was mad, I could feel it in his tone. He wasn’t shouting, but I knew he was mad, and I was at fault.

I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, burying my head on my arms. How I wanted to find a way to reach their dorm and talk things through with him, he was my best friend, I didn’t want him mad at me, but no, that was a bad idea, Jonghyun was there…he was there, I couldn’t get close to him after what had happened. The best thing to do probably was not talking to them for a while… but then Minhyuk would probably think that I didn’t want to talk to him… my head was a total mess.

That night I didn’t get to sleep one bit, I was up all night thinking about every single way to show Minhyuk that I was actually sorry and to tell Jonghyun to stop confusing me. The sun was rising and I was still sitting on the floor, my bag next to me, my cds unplayed, not even opened. I finally rose to my feet and went to take a shower and change clothes so I could go to college.

I didn’t really want to go to college but I just couldn’t skip classes, even if I was falling asleep while hearing my teachers talking. All day, I listened to my friend going on about how she had attended CNblue’s comeback stage at Music Core and how much she wanted to go again.

Her words made me realize that I had never got to see them play live. I tried changing the subject, after all…talking about those two would make me feel weird inside, especially since I couldn’t talk about them like I normally would, I just had to refer to them as the celebrities they were, it was hard but not as hard as the situation I was in. The idea of moving even crossed my mind for a few seconds, but why move? Why escape when they were only my friends?

Classes came to an end pretty early and I decided to leave and go for a walk, probably go to the cafe a and have something. I wasn’t sure of what I really wanted to do at that moment, I arrived without noticing at the entrance of the cafe and stood there wondering if I should enter or not, when I was about to take a step in, my phone’s screen started glowing, I picked up the call, I wasn’t sure who to expect, but I realized that after that call I would need to save the number, just in case.

“Hello…?”

“Hey… it’s Minhyuk” a smile suddenly appeared on my face when I heard him, he did say that he would call but I wasn’t sure if he really would or not. I was s relieved when he did end up calling me, it was my chance to apologize.

“Minhyuk-oppa!” I cheerfully said, “I’m so glad that you called…!”

He didn’t say anything for some seconds, “…oh. For real?”

“Of course… Oppa I know you are mad, I’m really sorry that I’m letting you down…”

“H-hey you don’t have to—“

“Minhyuk-oppa… “ I whispered, I heard him sighing, I was afraid of making him mad.

“Where are you?” he suddenly asked, my eyes opened wide, I looked around and realized how I was at the same place I was the previous day when Jonghyun called me.

“I’m at a café near KBS building…”

“Can we talk…?” his voice became low and serious. I nodded and answered that we could indeed talk, more like, I felt that we HAD to talk.

“I’ll be there in some minutes, please wait” he said and hung up on me. I stuffed my phone on my bag and got inside the cafe waiting for him to show up. I wasn’t sure of what I wanted to say or why I wanted to apologize so much, something was off, something I couldn’t understand that much at that moment.

I ordered an espresso and waited for Minhyuk, even if the minutes seemed like hours, I still waited. Around 15 minutes passed and when I was about to call him I heard the sound of the cafe’s door opening, my eyes were set on the door, and there he was, my long-time best friend and confident, Kang Minhyuk. He was wearing a long black and gray overcoat and a beret,  well…nice way to try and dress in a way people won’t recognize you I said to myself. He looked around and waved at me when he saw me, he walked towards my  table and sat on the chair that was across me.

“Hey…” I said, “Looking classy” I joked around, he answered with an smile, I knew trying to make things normal was going to be tough but I really didn’t want the atmosphere to be all awkward.

“We need