At first I couldn't believe it, I felt so relieved to see her again and I wanted to ask her why she hadn't contact me a whole month.

But then I noticed it wasn't her. Someone else probably wouldn't have seen the difference. But I could. Small things. Like the way her hands shove her hair back in its place when it's blown in her face. Or the way her lips move when she's talking. Small things but not irrelevant.

I see. This must be Niina I thought disappointed and again I felt my heart ache.

Where are you? I wondered.

I wanted to jump up and ask Niina what happened but I couldn't. I feared the answer.

During the whole ride back I stared at her. Wondering if I'd ask or not. Aron noticed me staring and I saw him getting jealous. But I couldn't stop even though it hurt every time I looked at her.

While Minhyun and Aron showed Niina the house, Jong Hyun explained the situation.

He didn't know everything, he told us, only what Aron translated.

He told us how he met her and why she was crying. Her mother was in coma,  her father was brain-dead and her sister died instantly in the car crash a month ago.

This was even worse than I feared. I wish I had never found out.

I still don't remember how I returned to my room but when I closed the door behind me, I could finally stop pretending.

I felt my tears slide down my cheeks, I didn't bother whipping them away.

These are my feelings.

I'll cry today, so tomorrow you can see me happy again.

Goodbye, my love.