Ms. Straight A Vs Mr (Not So) Perfect by evilmagnae91

I WANT TO READ!! SEND ME UR STORY!! I'LL GIVE FEEDBACK-2!!

DISCLAIMER:

I AM NOT A CRITIC, I AM JUST A NORMAL READER WHO WILL HELP YOU WITH HOW A READER LIKES YOUR STORY

 
Poster: Yes. It's cute!
 
Side note: I haven't seen WGM yet, but by the way everyone talks about them, I really need to watch this Goguma couple :D
 
Discription and Foreword:
 
Putting quotes about the character from another character's POV was a clever idea. with that even though you haven't said any thing about what the story might be, reader's already got the idea about how they feel inside about others.
 
On the line that started with When Seohyun..... Your description of seohyun was a little over stretched and awkward. Specially where you wrote "Not so average way of thinking" that part just doesn't go well with the next part of YongHwa. It's a little too stretched that reader might forget that what was the sentence about. 
"Let's just say He underestemateS...." put a S here.
"That he had fall.." take the S out of here.
 
Story:
 
To tell you honestly, I like this story. I can see that english is not your first language. Still your grammars are quite good. I would suggest you to read more english books so you gain a lot of knowledge of vocabulary. You need some varied vocab to make your stroies more interesting. And also I see awkward lines due to sentence structure or minor grammars, this all can be helped too if you read quality books. Don't always go reading Fanfics. Read real books too. I would suggest trying Sarah Dassen and such young adult writers. Even though people says bad things about twilight series, I have learnt a great deal of vocabs from that book. 
 
Please continue writing it and read better books. 
 
So here it is~ 
 
The Famous WGM Goguma Pair
 
Yonghwa and Seohyun
 
 
 
by 
 
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LimaLemon
how long as it been ?!! i need 4 more subbies to make it a 100

Comments

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Hunteris5000
#1
I don't know if you guys are still taking requests but...
Yeah, I'd apprecite you review on this story:
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/410315/revenge-angst-drama-romance-exo-exom-kris
Thank you, sorry for bothering you if you're not taking any more. ^^
illuminousink #2
uhh... Hi there. I'm not sure how to request for a review. and I'm not sure when you'll be taking in new requests but I would really like to ask for a review. uhm. Thank you.
dbsk_cassie
#3
Chapter 26: Thanks for your honest and helpful review! I agree with what you said about my first chapter, I wrote it a while ago and just recently read it, I want to change it but then the ppl who's already read it would be confuse. I am also glad you liked my story! And thank you again!
Violet12123
#4
Chapter 25: Thank you for reviewing, but I think you are confused. I wrote my story in PRESENT tense not past tense, so "I eat" is correct. I tried to write this in a way that made sense to people who didn't speak perfect english, so my grammar wasn't perfect, but I am a fluent English speaker, so I hope it's decent. I did have a hard time with the plot, because everything had already been done that I could do! My photoshopping skills when I first wrote this were really poor, but now they've improved a lot, I just haven't had time to redo it. Now if I could I would have submitted a better story, but at the time I only had this one! But I'm glad you enjoyed it, thank you.
cellolvr9819
#5
I was wondering if you could review my story next time you get the chance? :) http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/422682/flower-boy-bakery-romance-exo-exok-sehun-baekhyun
thank youuu~
kpopperforever #6
Apparently you're hiring? If you are, I would like to apply, thanks!
DespisedSecret
#7
Chapter 22: Thanks for reading my story! So sorry about getting to this so late (I was out of town) and don't worry, I take all criticism as constructive ^.^