Okay. Before everything else and critcism and stuff, let me do this......

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KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THAT WAS SOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

weeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I usually don't read Shinee fiction ( I am a shawol, but still I don't) because most of the time they are 's or Onew baby is paired with Chicken -___- or portrayed as that weird date who can't stop talking about food -____-  (x2). So this is like the first time reading one where Onew's character is legit! Makes me happyyyyyyyyyyyy :D

---- Okay done.---

Foreword and Description:

The foreword is simple and straightforeword but has slight punctuation mistakes... no biggie. Let me fix that for you. 

Jinki (Onew) falls in love with Sunyoung (Luna), the new student. But being a person with low self-esteem, Jinki struggles with his feelings. Will he successfully convey his love?

Sweet and short. But I am afraid that it might not be strong enough to capture tumbling readers who ends up finding this story. I am not telling you to change it neither not NOT to change it. It's up to you. 

Chapters:

I liked it. I liked it a lot. 

I am not saying it was perfect. I am not saying there wasn't mistakes along the way but the story as a whole was awesome! 

Your organization was well done, and so was the switching the point of view. Because of the different point of views it was easy to understand the characters feelings. 

But one thing that really caught my eyes was your capitalization. All of your "i"s were not capitalized. I know it's a hassle but I would highly recommend you to go back and do it, because it sticks out.  Other than that, you are good to go. 

Well Done.

So here it is, 

A Onew + Luna short fiction 

A Song Calling For You

Dr_elf15

Reviewed by 

LimaLemon