Don't Follow Me; It's Scary by 4everprocastinating
I WANT TO READ!! SEND ME UR STORY!! I'LL GIVE FEEDBACK-2!!Hi! Lets just start off with a greeting, shall we?
It been a while :) and I am happy that you have kept my request and got a poster. It's not mandatory, but it does improve the visual.
Foreword: Very unsettling, very creepy. But well written nonetheless. It's grabs attention real quick and also makes me curious what happened before and after the excerpt. Just this one line wasn't t quite clear. In the line "but for the sake of making him flinch, she took out her knife" instead of 'before' you needed a coma at that place :)
Story: I am noticing a pattern here. Both the story I have reviewed had more that one couple and main focus points. You really love to right about complicated, multi-main character focused stories, don't you? But I have to give it to you, you do handle this kind of story very well.
Pros: Your plot idea was awesome. It's not so cliche. It is also one of the very important but overlooked social issues. I used to have a stalker before, I know how creepy and regretful it is when you look back and see that once the person you trusted, turned into such scare induced individual. You have kept the creepiness and the urgence of the story through out all the chapters. None of the chapters seemed out of place. It's a serious story over all.
I am very much wondering if Kevin will turn out to be Number 9 or not. And also I trust Kiesop. She needs to tell him. She needs help!
You reaaaaaaaaally need to update this story soon.
Cons: I have a feeling that I have mentioned this about your other story too. The thing is, I know you are trying to keep the suspense going by letting your readers guess who is who before you tell their names. But sometimes you just stretched the suspension too far that it became irrational. It would be better if you let people know which character is talking so they can make a mental picture.
Another thing is some of your chapters started with a first person POV that is not Mi Sun's. You see, from the begining it was Mi Sun's POV so when you start with another character's POV with out lebeling, brain automatically picks it as Mi Sun's. I got tricked by this everytime when Kiesop was the POV and Kevin's. So please I will ask you, please go back and do a double check on these things.
Other than that, the story is awesome. I feel like I know where you want to go with this story. I will be happily waiting for you to finish it.
Thank you
So here it is~
If you want to read about a suspicious U-Kiss featured story
please check out
Don't Come Too Close; It's Scary
Comments