Jun Ho’s POV

I took a brave step into the room.

To my surprise, the room was decorated with baby items that had never left before. The baby picture So Eun and I hung on the wall in our past bedroom, the toys we bought in advance for our unborn child and the clothes were still laid out as if someone took them out to admire. I touched the items briefly and was confused, “Wasn’t So Eun the one who did not want to keep the baby?”

I remembered So Eun resented the fact that she hated carrying the child. She thought it was a burden and she was the one who went for the abortion without telling me. She ended up weak but she still carried on with the abortion without my permission. I remembered that was the main reason why I decided to divorce her.

Touching the surface of her table, I realised the diary was opened to a page. I picked up and read it.

“Dear Diary,

Today’s the day when our child was taken away from us.

If only that day I had not been so careless to fall down from the stairs when I heard my own husband was in trouble from my friend. It turned out he was alright but… our child was gone due my clumsiness and stupidity. If I had been more careful, our child wouldn’t have been killed in my own hands.

I will never forget the sorrow, pain and suffering I had to deal with that day. I’m sorry, my child. The suffering our child had to go through without even having to see the world must be suffering twice as much as I do. I didn’t mean to. The child, whom I love so much, will always remain in my heart and never be forgotten.”

I dropped the diary.

“Did she have an abortion?” I was confused by her words.

Suddenly, I heard someone at the door. I jumped at the sound of it and turned around. So Eun’s father was standing at the doorway, “What are you doing here? Did I invite you bastard into her room? Get out right now!”

“No, Father, no!” I resisted when he started to pull me away from the room. I was stronger than he was so he gave up. I showed the diary to him, “What is this? I thought… I thought she aborted the baby…”

“That’s what you thought, you idiot!”

I stayed silent to listen.

“She did not abort it. She’s not heartless. She had a miscarriage and you were the one jumping to conclusions without even showing concern for her, you bastard!” He shouted at me and started breaking down.

He covered his face and cried, “You don’t know how much she suffered after the miscarriage. Her health was weak and she had depression because she lost the child. And all you did was to sign the divorce papers.”

“So Eun…” I mumbled her name in guilt and remorse. I couldn’t absorb all the information I was getting. How could I be such an for failing to see all of these? I did not even give her a chance to explain. What was worse was I did not even ask for her condition when she was hospitalised. I simply accused her for ‘aborting’ our baby.

I collapsed on the floor, weak in my knees, thinking of how she had suffered without me after the miscarriage. I thought I was the one who was suffering training so hard to be a singer but my wife was outside, trying to recover from her physical and mental health.

“Go, go away,” So Eun’s father pointed at the main door, “I don’t want to see you again.”

“I’m sorry, Mr Kim, I’m sorry,” That was the only thing I could say at this moment.

He closed the door behind me as I walked out from the gate.

|2006|

“Hello, my baby, are you being good?” Jun Ho pressed his ears to So Eun’s tummy and rubbed it gently.

So Eun started giggling, “It tickles!”

“Shh, I’m talking to my child here!” Jun Ho shushed So Eun and continued, “Baby, are you living well? Don’t worry, Daddy and Mummy are going to feed you with delicious and nutritious food.”

“What? You? I can hardly depend on you to take care of our baby!” So Eun joked and poked his cheek playfully.

Jun Ho sat up and placed his arm over her shoulder where she could lean on his shoulder comfortably, “What? You don’t have faith in me? I can be a good father, you know.”

“I know that, I trust you.” Her tone became gentler.

Jun Ho grabbed her left hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. As he was doing that, he started touching the surface of her wedding ring. He realised the ring was a little loose and going rusty. He sighed.

“Why did you sigh?” So Eun became concerned and touched his face to console him.

“Look at this ring,” Jun Ho showed her the ring, “The ring’s rusty and old-looking. It’s embarrassing to have such a wedding ring, am I right, So Eun?”

“No, what are you talking about? I love it.” So Eun said.

“Don’t lie,” Jun Ho denied, “I know it’s not good enough. So Eun, I promise when I debut as a singer. I’ll make loads of money for you. By then, I’ll give you a proper wedding, invite all your relatives, take real wedding photos and buy you a real diamond ring.”

He held her hands tightly and promised her confidently, “I want to show everyone that we can live happily too and it was right for us to get married even though it’s a shot-gun marriage. We’re meant to be together. I’m not going to let others look down on us.”

So Eun cupped his face and locked lips with him briefly, “Jun Ho, you know all these materialistic stuff are secondary. All I need is your love and care for me… and for the child. That’s all I really want from you.”

They hugged tightly and lied on the bed, going to fall asleep in each other’s arms.

“But Jun Ho…” She called his name randomly.

“Yes?”

“I really want a wedding ring though.” She confessed cutely.

Jun Ho’s laughter echoed through their bedroom, “Aigo, my wife, my adorable little wife…”