"Appa..."

Right in front of me was my only dad. The same dad who left me and my family when I was only eleven years old. 

I felt myself heating up as I remembered the time he left our family. How everything around me fell apart. It was all his fault that my mom went through a faze of depression. His fault that my younger brother got into fights and started to rebel in such a young age. His fault that my older sister ran away from home and came back all beaten up.

At age eleven I had to act mature and work at a young age. I never once forgot the night he left us. It's engraved in my memory forever.

Flashback:

"Omma...Appa...I'm back home!" I screamed inside my house telling my parents I'm home. 

I forgot to tell them that I was going to be coming back home early. But it didn't matter I wanted to surprise them.

After not hearing a reply I looked around the house to search for them. I finally went up stairs and heard voices.

Ohhh mom and dad are in their room.

I walked towards the room and as I got closer I heard two people giggling with each other. I opened up the door and saw two people on the bed together. 

I saw them moving around the bed, but didn't get what they were doing. I saw that there was clothes around the whole room. I laughed at them thinking that they were really messy and should clean up. 

I went to turn on the lights because everything was so dark. When I the lights I saw a woman and my dad.

The woman was and so was my dad. It seemed like they were wrestling, but .

Who is this? Where's omma?

"Appa...."

My dad looks up at me and his eyes get wide. He pushes the woman off of him and he scrambles to put clothes on. At the same time the woman is also putting her clothes back on in a matter of seconds. I didn't know why they were doing that at all.

I just stood there confused as to why my dad was with another woman other than my mom in their bedroom on their bed .

I remembered one time my dad told me that when two people love each other they lay on their beds hugging each other.

Does that mean he loves this woman? What about mom?

I kept thinking until finally my dad crouched in front of me.

"Dara why are you home early?"

He looked flushed and seemed out of breath. 

"Appa...who is that woman?"

I pointed towards the woman who was rushing out of the room. Before I could find out who she was she left without a single word. 

My dad looks at me and covered his face. He faced me and had a very serious face on.

"Dear...why don't we just keep this between us?"

"Why?"

My dad took a long time to answer and just shook his head.

"If you're a good girl then you'll listen to me. Keep this a secret. Okay?"

He just patted my head and walked away. He started to clean everything up throwing things away and putting things back to where it was before.

I walked back down the stairs when I heard the door open. I ran down and saw my mom. I jumped on her and hugged her as tight as I could.

I may be eleven years old, but I knew better than to keep a sceret away from my mom. She told me to never keep anything away from her. 

I thought if I should tell her or not, but decided I should. I kept a promise to my mom.

"Omma...appa had a friend here...he told me to keep it away from you, but I promised omma that I would tell you everything."

She looks at me wide eye and I swear I saw daggers coming out of her eyes as she looked up the stairs. She put me down gently and stomped up the stairs.

I heard a door slam and some yelling. I slowly walked up stairs and feared for the worst. Lately I noticed my mom and dad getting into fights and arguments. I also notice that they were getting more and more distant with each other.

I tried talking to my older sister about it, but she just told me that it was normal. She said that all parents fight with each other here and there. But everytime I saw them it seemed more than just a fight. It didn't help that my room would be next to their room. 

I would hear the door at night slam. I would walk inside the room only to see my mom crying. I love both my parents, but I hate seeing them like that.

I stood in front of their door as I hear the screaming louder and louder. I heard everything my parents were saying and I started to cy.

I hear my mom screaming at my dad. "How could you do this?!? Especially in front of Dara!"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"SHE SAW YOU WITH ANOTHER WOMAN IN OUR BED!"

"She's only a little girl she must have imagined it!"

"She is not a little girl anymore. She is eleven years old and knows better."

"Why are you even mad?"

I don't know what it was but I heard something crash. I jumped up fearing for the worst. I then heard my dad again.

"YOU ! What the was that for!"

"You freaking deserved it! You brought a into this household and got caught ing by our BABY GIRL!"

"You know what! YOU! I'm outta here."

"FINE LEAVE!"

I suddenly see the door open and I saw my dad look down at me. He stops in front of me and looks back at my mom. He kneels in front of me and gives me a hug.

"I'm sorry baby girl. Daddy has to go now. I'll always love you. I'll come back. I promise."

I started to cry harder as I held my dad. 

"Daddy please don't go. Don't leave mommy. Don't leave us.."

I held him as tight as I could but he pulled me away. As he walked away I ran and hugged him from behind.

"I'm sorry Daddy. This is all my fault. I should have never told mommy. It's my fault so please don't leave."

He pulls my arms away from him and looks at me one more time.

"Baby it isn't your fault...mommy and daddy just...doesn't love each other anymore...this is not your fault. Ok."

"Appa...."

My dad pulls me in for one last time and gives me a kiss on the forehead.

"I love you baby girl."

He walks down the stairs and out the house. I run after him hoping to stop him, but I see his car speeding down the road.

"APPA!!!.....don't go.." I screamed out for him, but he never came back.

I went up back to my parent's room and saw my mom on the floor crying. I go up to her and hold her close.

"Mianhae omma."

My mom looks up at me and just wipes my tears away and holds me.

"Omo baby girl it isn't your fault. This was a problem between your appa and me. This was bound to happen."

"Omma...why did appa leave? Is it really true that you guys don't love each other anymore."

"Ani...I love your father very much."

"What about appa? Does he still love you?"

I hear my mom cry as she tried to keep her composure.

"Ani..your appa loves someone else now."

I feel her tear drop on my cheek and from that moment on I knew not to ever abandon my mom. I will be a good girl and never make any problems for her. I wiped my tears away and held my mom close. I shouldn't be the one crying I had to be a strong girl. 

"Omma I love you. I'll never leave you."

She holds me tighter. "Thank you Dara."

I helped my mom into my room and put her on my bed. I didn't think it was a good idea for her to be in the same room where dad and that other woman were also in. After she fell asleep on my bed I went back into her room and cleaned up. I even changed the bed sheets and pillows. I threw everything away in the bathroom that belonged to my dad.

After cleaning up I cooked dinner for my mom and my siblings. When my older sister, Byul, came home she looks at me and knew from one look on my face.

"No...it can't be.."

She runs upstairs and saw mom on my bed sleeping with tears still running down her face. She comes back down and starts yelling at me.

"HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN! YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED IT!" 

She slammed her fist on the counter which makes me jump. At the same time Sanghyun my younger brother came home.

He stopped Byul from hitting me as he grabbed her.

"Noona why are you two fighting what happened?"

"It's her fault! Her fault that mom and dad aren't together anymore."

I flinched as she told Sanghyun the news. He looks at me and asks if it was true.

"Noona is it true? Did dad really leave?"

I couldn't look into his eyes and just nodded my head. I could feel tears coming out again, but I knew I had to hold it in. He was only nine years old. He shouldn't see his older sister crying. 

Before I could talk to Byul more about it she stormed out of the house screaming.

"I'm going to find dad and get him back. I'll fix all of this!"

After she left I explained as best as I could to Sanghyun on what happened. All he did was cry in my arms and fall asleep. I tucked him into his bed and apologised one more time.

"Sorry Sanghyun..this is all noona's fault..I'll be better. I promise."

I kissed him on the forehead and went back down to the kitchen. The food I cooked slowly was getting cold so I just packed everything up and put it into the fridge.

I stayed up waiting for Byul to come home until she finally came through the door. It was pasat midnight when she came back home all beaten up. Her hair was messed up, clothes were torn apart, and she had bruises everywhere. I ran to her and helped her to the couch.

"Unnie what happened?"

"I..I...I...couldn't find dad....I looked everywhere...then...bunch of men...came..beat me up...threw me to the ground...I.."

I hugged her fearing for what she was going to say next.

"Unnie I'm so sorry. What did they do to you? Did they you?"

I felt her shake her head no and looks at me. 

"They couldn't get to it...police came..I ran..too...embaressed."

She cried into my chest and as I looked into her eyes I saw the life slowly going away. She had lost all trust for all men and now she is in a broken family. I just held her tight as I held back my tears. 

My unnie needs me right now. I have to be strong. 

Was all I could think of at that moment. She was to heavy to carry to her room so I just put her down on the couch and covered her in blankets. 

I got up and went outside and sat on my porch. I somehow felt like my dad would still come. I waited for him to come back saying he was sorry and that he didn't mean anything. 

I waited.

And waited.

And waited until I couldn't wait no more.

After holding it in for so long I finally cried as I realised that no matter how long I waited my dad would never come back.

Present:

"Dara.." I see him coming closer and I back away.

"Don't you dare come any closer."

I see him shrink as I talked to him as if he was some murderer. I took out my phone and texted Bom to tell her that I wouldn't be able to pick them up right now.

Hey Bom...something came up so you guy will just have to stay with the guys a little bit longer. Also don't ask any questions. I'll tell you about it later.

I closed my phone and looked up at him.

"Why the are you here? And what the hell do you want?"

He flinches as he hears my tone.

"Baby girl. It's me...your dad.."

I shivered as he called me by my nickname he gave me.

"YOU ARE NOT MY DAD!"

"Dara don't.."

"I have no dad.."

I said coldly as I pushed him away. 

He grabs my arm as I tried walking away.

"Dara you shouldn't talk like this towards your dad."

I stared at him in amazment as he had the nerve to still think that he is my dad after what he had put me my brother and sisters and especially my mom through.

"You stopped being my dad the moment you left our family for that ."

That was the last thing I said to him as I went inside my car and drove to the ice cream store. During the car ride I cried my heart out. 

Why is this happening to me? First Youngbae and now my dad.

I pulled over to the parking lot and looked at the guys and girls laughing smiling and having a great time. I couldn't let them see me like this. I wiped my tears away and put eye drops. I looked in the mirror and saw that I looked fine. I stared at the girls and smiled again.

I straightened up and walked over to them. I smiled the best I can and faced them.

"Hey how was it?"

They looked at me and smiled. They told me everything that happened and told me the jokes. Everything was going fine until.

"Youngbae what are you doing here?" I heard Top say as he looks past me. "And who's that?"

I froze as I heard Youngbae tell the guys who his guest was. The girls just held me close as they glared at the two men.

"This is Dara's father. He asked me to help him look for Dara."

I became stiff as I felt Youngbae's hand grab me.

"Dara why did you run away from your father?"

I stared at him in disbelief. He should know better to as why I would run away. I pulled my arm away and started to walk off. 

Once again I feel Youngbae grabbing me from behind.

"You should learn to forgive and forget. You have waited for your dad to come back and when he's finally back you run away."

I look at him sad as I couldn't believe what he was saying. I couldn't hold it in anymore and slapped Youngbae.

"You should be the one to speak. Forgive and forget. You should follow what you preach." 

I said with tears rolling down my cheeks. I didn't want to cry especially in front of my dad and Youngbae, but I couldn't handle it anymore. All the emotions I held in finally came out. 

"You don't know anything Bae. Nothing."

That was the last thing I said as I grabbed the girls and went to my car. I drove to the girls apartment because I wouldn't be able to handle being by myself tonight. I needed my girls and I needed comfort. 

They all just held me close as I cried all the pent up emotion I've held in for so long. I cried and cried until I finally fell asleep.

The last thing I thought of was Youngbae's face as he looked at me filled with sadness as I walked away from him.

Men are all the same...they know nothing..they all...

leave me...

Please don't be mad at me! I'm so sorry that I took FOREVER to update. College and family kind of took most of my time. 

I will try to update as fast as I can. Since I'm free tomorrow I'll try to put up two or three more chapters to make up for the lost time. 

I love you guys! Please don't forget to comment on what you think. And thanks for all the support!

I lalalala love you guys! <333