It took me all the courage to sent Jihoo away from here. He needed to be sent to the army. I’m guessing he can’t even have the luxury to watch our pilot episode even if he said so. This guy sure had always brought surprises with him. Why did he have to leave this way? For some reasons, I felt like it’s unfair for him to be sent to the army like he had something to rush. He could still go at the right age, why did he have to go there, he’s just too young.  Why was he sent to the army this early? Aishh. Chincha! The reality of life seriously .

 

Know what more ? Even just in fiction, Jiyeon and I can’t be together! JB and Rian are starting to drift away as the story progresses! I hated the director for putting up the two together in the first place when he just had to throw all those building-up they did for their love story at the end of the day! Aishh. Why can he throw JB’s feelings just like that like nothing big of a deal happened? Why can’t they be more reasonable in doing this story? How can it be par to the first season of dream high if its story line is this sloppy? I know I’m getting too worked up with some trivial matters but I can’t help it. Everything is out of my grasp!  I can’t see Jihoo for who knows how long! And now, Jiyeon seemed to be unaffected by my feelings! And our script is full of crap! How do I cope with these loads of bull? Forgive my language, but I’m just not in a stable state right now that I might even get crazy any minute.

 

I returned to the set the next day so I won’t be disappointing anyone; there’s no point in brooding over things that are bound to happen; over things that are inevitable.  It was Jihoo’s choice to leave anyway so be it.

 

Jiyeon and Jinwoon hyung suddenly came into the scene, catching Sora noona and I together. We were directed to exchange deadly stares making the scene as much intense as possible.

 

“What are you doing right now?” Jiyeon thrown her lines as Rian. If only looks could kill, I must be a bunch of wasted ashes now. She’s indeed has a prowess in acting!

 

Well, as my character JB, I couldn’t make any reason out of it which left me speechless and kind of guilty. And like I told you, I hated the director for making my character like this!

 

“You’re doing all sorts of things..”as she said that, Jiyeon’s expression showed mock, irritation, frustration and helplessness all in one moment then she finally walked-out of the room.

 

Rian misunderstood the situation, so basically JB needed to clear things up so I ran after Jiyeon of course. Even in real life, I would do the same. I don’t want her to be misunderstanding things like that. At least the director had some logic during this part of the script. Maybe he still had some bits of ‘reality’ and ‘sense’ in his soul.

 

But unlike my character JB who confronted Rian with so much angst, I , on the other hand would take things calmly if this actually happened to us.

 

So, in portraying my character as prescribed by the script, I grabbed her to let her face me,

 

“We need to talk!” I half-raised my voice at Jiyeon.

 

“What do you want to say all of a sudden?”

 

The way she delivered those lines made me feel like we’re having our real conversation so I toned down my voice,

 

“I know it’s your birthday today.” I had to do adlib expressions just so I could still leave a sensible character on the screen not just some whacko that suddenly went all so crazy with his number one fan.

 

“Is birthday supposed to be special?”

 

I was left speechless at those words as of course prescribed by the lousy script and so she added, “ I don’t care whether you remember it or not,”

 

Her voice was full of rage and fury. Thank goodness she’s carrying her character well; wishing that she could divert the audience’s attention to her praise-worthy acting than focus on our storyline. I know I’ve been trying to insult and degrade our script right now like I’m the most perfect creature living but goodness! I know you’d complain even more if you could just have a glimpse on our storyline! Even an ordinary viewer would notice how poor our script was written.

 

“But.. Your standards have fallen a lot. To sit around listening to someone like that sing.”

 

So in the end, her character Rian turned out to be jealous but of course JB has still more to say to that,

 

“Then what about you? You did a street performance? Isn’t that being too careless with your image?”

 

Aigoo. Jealousy everywhere. If only the characters could just speak out what they truly feel! Aisshh, I’m going crazy!

 

“It was fun. My breathing matched well with Jin Yoojin..”

 

Awww.  Even with the poorly written flow of the story, somehow, a part of me suddenly felt the same way as my character when Jiyeon said that. Suddenly, it felt like JB’s raw emotions are reaching through me. Aishhh. What am I going to do with myself? I better tell Jihoo later so--- Oh yeah. I forgot. He’s not around anymore.

 

“I see what the President saw in his abilities.”

 

I couldn’t take her taking sides at all.. Why am I so darn affected even just by this fiction set-up? Since she isn’t giving me any answer; It’s maybe because I’m afraid that this is what would happen to us in our situation in real life. Idols aren’t supposed to be dating, right?

 

“Ahhh.. I guess you wouldn’t know. I heard our President was floored by Jin Yoojin. Get your head straight. This isn’t the time for you to be playing around..”

 

“Are you done talking?” Well of course, with all that’s been said by Rian, my character JB’s infuriated with every word she uttered especially with matters connected to his rival, Yoojin.

 

“No. If you have time, come to see our performance,” Rian’s rubbing salt to JB’s wounded pride and heart.

 

“Your performance?” I was really pissed at this moment. Just thinking about their perf before, all sorts of emotions are surging through me.

 

“Yeah. I was going to quit after doing it once but because of someone, I want to keep doing it.”

 

She was turning her back to me again! And so before she could get any farther away from me,

 

“How long are you going to keep being like this?” I shouted at the top of my lungs.

 

That of course stopped her from walking further away, “You’re the one who started it,”

 

With that, “CUT!”

 

What a wasted potential for JB and Rian, from this scene it could’ve ignited more interest on the viewers but the director left it there, he seemed to focus more on the protagonist even sacrificing reasoning.

 

“What are you sulking about?

 

Did I hear right? I heard Jihoo! “What are you talking about? Yah Jihoo!”

 

As I turned, it was Jiyeon who was there looking at me bewildered;  “Neh?”

 

“Since when were you there?” I was so sure I heard Jihoo!

 

“Just now but all of sudden you’re calling me Jihoo.”

 

No way! Maybe I just heard wrong but, ‘’ Did you say anything when you arrived?”

 

“Nope. Wae? Did something happen?”

 

Baltuande! Now, I’m hearing him! I’m hallucinating! Is this how I badly miss my friend? This isn’t normal! Am I turning gay? Or Biual? ‘Cause I’m still sure of my feelings for Jiyeon! Aissshh.

 

“JB, you can lean on me.”

 

“Neh?” I’m seriously hearing things! I need to consult a doctor!

 

“You can share your worries to me.”

 

“Mwoh? I’m dreaming, right?”

 

“No, you’re not. This is real.”

 

“So.. What you’re trying to say is..”

 

“JB. I think..”