December 28, 2011

 

The aftershock of my star struck syndrome was even worse. My thoughts were filled with Jiyeon for the past 7 days after the first script reading meeting.  Actually, I started doing things which are so unlike me. And it’s greatly bothering me. You wanna hear some of my story about it? Yes? Just promise me to keep it a secret or else it’ll be your fault if my celebrity image would be ruined before I even start to debut.

 

Okay. Brace yourselves.

 

It happened when I came home right after the script reading last December 21, 2011. Yeah I know, my aftershock took place almost immediately.

 

 I was greeted excitedly by my mom, “How’s your script reading son?”

 

“It was great…” my voice trailed off, not ready to go down to the path this conversation would lead us.

 

“And?” yeah right, my mom’s really doing great when it comes to nagging. All moms do actually. So I don’t really have any problem with it, at least we all share the same thing, but I wasn’t in the least bit of mood to dwell with that nagging so I responded,

 

“ButbecauseofmyfoolishinfatuationoveragirlIbarelyevenknewIscrewedupandIcan’treallyforgivemyselfforthat,” I breathlessly filled her in with my current dilemma; I was gasping for air after that. I should’ve breathed but if I did I would be hesitant to tell her. So I decided to tell her all at once and I really hoped she caught that; I don’t wanna repeat myself anymore.

 

“You wanna talk about it more?” I’m glad she actually understood me, she’s still my mom after all, but I really don’t wanna talk about it, “I’m sorry mom. I’m tired.”

 

“Aigoo. Gwaenchana. Rest now my son. We can talk about it later,” there goes my sweet and caring mom. I suddenly felt guilty. But still,

 

“Neh.” I lied to stop her from all that nagging. I actually don’t have any plans on telling her. It’s way beyond her concern. She should concern herself with better things, not with my shameful awkward tales.

 

I proceeded to my room. The moment I crashed myself on my bed, my phone started ringing. I checked on the caller ID and found out that it was my bestfriend, Jihoo , who was calling. I exasperatedly sighed. Of all times, why would he call now? Oh great. Just great.  Just what I needed for the day! Ugh. Feeling defeated - face palming myself, I gave up on ignoring my phone and decided to pick it up, “Yeoboseoyo.”

 

“YAHHH.JAEBUMIIEEEEE!” Ouch. My eardrums almost exploded. I almost forgot about my best bud being this hyperactive.

 

“YAH! Calm down. I’m not deaf, hara? I can hear you. Stop being too loud.” I whined, totally annoyed at Jihoo.

 

He completely ignored my complaint and much to my dismay, he even squealed, “Kyaaaa. So how was your script reading?” If I haven’t known him for years, I would have really mistaken him for being a homoual.

 

“It was cool. I feel great.” I tried my best to feel pumped up with it.

 

“Nah, you don’t sound really in for it. What went wrong?” OH . He’s my best pal, why did I even bother lying? I can imagine him right now, scrunching up his face trying to read me. 

 

“It’s just that…” I couldn’t say it. Goodness gracious! Why was I still holding myself from spilling it out? Tsk. Me and my weird self. I’m hopeless.

 

“What? Yah! Don’t you dare keep a secret! “I wasn’t trying to keep it from him, it’s just that I’m really being weird right now. I’m having difficulty in understanding myself at the moment.

 

“Spill it out!” Jihoo, the impatient wacko, was dying out of curiosity!

 

“You know Park Jiyeon of T-ara, right?” I whispered, too paranoid that someone unnecessary would actually hear it.

 

“Yes I know. And she’s the girl you’d be having a love interest with in dream high 2.” I could sense his growing interest over this, I gulped. Why do I have to be this nervous with my best friend? It’s not like it’s my first secret to share with him. We shared lots and this was only one of them!

 

“How should I say this…” I was being an anti- and all but I swear, it wasn’t intentional, I was kind of malfunctioning this way. When it comes to secrets, I really get all giddy and excited to share it to jihoo, unlike right now. This wasn’t my usual self.

 

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!! Get to the main point!” here goes Jihoo’s ill-tempered self and screechy voice! I couldn’t blame him though. I was being a complete kill-joy.

 

“I think…” If Jihoo was here with me right now, I would’ve earned a serious beating. But what should I do? I was getting really tensed up about this.

 

“Now what? What is it that’s holding you back? It’s not like you’ve ------“

 

I cut off whatever lengthy pool of words he was about to throw at me, “ I MISS HER ALREADY.”

 

THERE.

 

 I SAID IT.

 

BUT THE LINE WENT DEAD.

 

CRAP.

 

I think I’ve just pushed the end button.

 

I stared at my phone for a couple of seconds there; I was surprised with what I just did.

 

Did I just hung up on my best bud after that? UNBELIEVABLE!  It was an act of absolute rudeness and craziness on my part! What the hell is wrong with me? I could just imagine how freaked out Jihoo would be! Never did I hung up on him on conversations like this especially when we were only starting to get to the good part.

 

My phone started buzzing wildly. I’m 99.99% sure that Jihoo’s trying to call me again wanting me to give on a reasonable explanation on why I hung up on him! But the thing is, I don’t have any reasonable excuse whatsoever. I just panicked and don’t know what more to say. I know, I’m in serious trouble.

 

Days went by and I haven’t really picking up any of Jihoo’s calls. It was unfair on my part but it left me no choice. I really had no words to say. Sooner or later, he’ll eventually know about my unspeakable secret, just not now.

 

See? I’m so acting unusually, right? I’ve had done other crazy stuffs like unconsciously writing her name on my music sheet,  mentioning her name out of the blue, hearing her voice before I go to sleep and even dream of her when I sleep!

 

Oh Please, someone tell me that it’s just but normal for star-stricken fans to be acting like this. Jiyeon fans out there, you did foolish things too when you met Jiyeon personally, right? And commonly, you had this urge to wanting to see her again, missing her badly, right? It’s but typical for fans for having this kind of things to occur! That I wouldn’t really need to worry about it, considering I’m an avid fan now, because all these would come to pass soon, right?

 

Yeah. That’s probably it. And it’s more like it actually. If I want to feel at ease, I have to deal with that.

 

December  30,2011

 

My stomach twisted uncomfortably. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t eaten anything for breakfast or because we’re going to officially start our filming today. Well, I’m quite positive, that the latter was the reason I’m feeling all so freaked out right now. I feel so edgy and jittery! I really don’t wanna disappoint anyone. In as much as possible, I wanted to make it lighter and easier for everyone. And I’m really hoping that my star struck syndrome days would be over the moment I’d see Jiyeon because the last thing I wanted was to be a burden.

 

Everyone arrived promptly at the filming location. Things were still good, everyone was approachable and I figured too that everyone wants to be friends with everyone which made the atmosphere for the set a lot less heavier and well- friendlier. And I’m really thankful for that. At least I don’t have to worry about getting along well with them.

 

The first scene shooted was when Jiyeon’s supposed to act that she couldn’t act. As ironical as it sounds, I really don’t know how she’ll pull it off and yeah she’s as stunning as ever. *0* I shouldn’t be watching here right now, I should be rehearsing my lines but I needed to get some boost up with the veterans of acting so I ended up watching the first scene. :)

 

Seeing them finish the scene at one take only, I have no words to say. They made the script sprung into life exceptionally. Props to Jiyeon and Soohyun hyung for nailing the first scene flawlessly. I shouldn’t be thrilled and all because it was really expected from these two great actors to do really well but still, I can’t keep myself from being flabbergasted.

 

A part of the first scene they took was the supposedly passionate kiss shared by Hyemi and Samdong, this amazed me too. The way the cameras angled at the two- Jiyeon and Soohyun hyung, looked like they really kissed. I could almost believe that they shared a kiss on the lips if I wasn’t there witnessing with my eyes how they did it.  Soohyun hyung just bent his head showing the back of his head to the camera, blocking their lips while Jiyeon closed her eyes acting as if she was really being kissed. That way, they looked really kissing passionately but in reality, their faces were just close, no lips touching. The shooting of the first scene was indeed of no sweat. The director didn’t have any problem with it.

 

What’s started bothering me now was the next scene. It would be my first scene! I could almost feel my voice caught up in my throat. We then all moved to the next filming location which is a 5-minute walk from the first location. My first scene was with OZ Entertainment’s director at the supposedly backstage of a music program. I already rehearsed this part a little too much so hopefully, it wouldn’t be much of a problem. I was breathing hard.

 

“Lights. Camera.Action!”

 

I pulled in my best badass expression.

 

“Let’s go eat,” was my cue to deliver my line. I turned to OZ’s director, “ I can’t give up today’s performance. Siwoo’s going to come soon.” I successfully delivered my first line and so our conversation continued,

 

“Even if he gets here, it’ll be late.”

 

Now, it’s time for my mocking response, “Even Cinderella’s curfew was 12 AM. Do you think it makes sense for us to have a 10 PM curfew? What’s the point of being idol singers when we have to go home by 10 PM?” Whew. I silently thank the gods, feeling relieved that I delivered so many lines without forgetting a thing and without sounding monotonic.

 

OZ director managed to utter words I didn’t catch so I continued with my endless lines, “ Do you think a guy who go home before 10 PM because of a curfew is attractive? Idols are the top. We’ll get in trouble if we don’t go home by 10PM? “ I playfully included a smirk, in the hopes of leveling up my characterization.

 

OZ director then laughed at me mockingly, tapped me on my knees and added, “ You cutie. Yeah I know what you’re saying and listen to me carefully. Let’s say you ignored the curfew and went on stage, it’ll be cool right? But you guys will be restricted from performing  for the next three months and the broadcasting station will eat dust. Then the director will get mad at us and never let us perform right? Are you going to bear all the consequences?”

 

Whoa. He sure had some endless lines too. I’m glad he actually managed that all so jammed lines without any mistake. I then gave him an exasperated look to end the scene.

 

“CUT!”

 

And yeah, we did it in one go! I never felt so proud! The feeling is overwhelming indeed. The director gave me a thumbs up sign.

 

Determined not to disappoint anyone, I haven’t watched the others film, instead I kept reading the script and rehearsed along with it. Plus, I don’t want anymore of the added pressure if I’d watch them.

 

I was then called again to film another scene.

 

“Ready. Action!”

 

“Are you really mad?” Seojoon hyung started off our scene remarkably.

 

“Are you kidding?”I replied cockily.

 

“Ah. There was a problem.”

 

“It’s probably another girl issue.” I showed him an utter display of annoyance, just like how I get annoyed at Jihoo when he’s nagging me.

 

“No, it’s not.” Seojoon hyung laughed playfully.

 

“How can you laugh?” I continued to display my badass expression. I don’t even know how I’m doing it ‘cause for your information, I am a naturally cheerful person.

 

“I was late because of this. Listen to it and talk.”

 

As the music played, I showed a surprise reaction.

 

“CUT!”

 

And we did another one-take scene! Could you believe it? I had just managed two scenes without any NG!!! I really congratulated myself for not screwing up!

 

“Good job, you two.” Our director praised us.

 

Just like that, we filmed one scene after the other, without screwing up. I surprisingly pushed Jiyeon out of my thoughts actually. In fact, we only had three takes at maximum for all those scenes we had just filmed.

 

But of course, Just as everything’s going well for me, here comes the scene I’d be filming next. The scene I’d be shooting with no other than Jiyeon and only God knows what kind of idiotic thing I’d be pulling off again. We were to take the scene at a practice room. I needed to compose myself.

 

“Ready… ACTION!”

 

“I’ll protect that person and go to my place. There’s one person who wants to protect and one person who wants to win. So I asked you to teach me martial arts.” Here she was practicing her “b-rated acting” in front of the mirror and then she swung her toy sword in the air matched with her adorable expression. I was dazzled yet again. How can someone be this cute?

 

“But. Everything’s over now. There’s no reason to live!” she swung her sword yet again in the cutest manner. Man, she’s addictive. “I’ll have to meet Min Song back. I will take revenge on him!” Then she directed her sword at me. She gave me her surprised, awkward and yet soooooo ahhhhhhh smile. *0* I was left in a daze. And she was.. she was.. I was..

 

“CUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

“Gwaenchana?” she looked at me worriedly. I flashed her my foolish smile. “Neh.”

 

“Take 2. Action!”

 

She swung and directed her sword again to me with that ever adorable expression of hers. >_< I was supposed to do something with the toy sword she pointed at me but I seemed to… CRAP. I’m doomed.

 

“CUT!!!” director-nim yelled.

 

“JB! What’s wrong? You just have to swipe the sword out of your face and then deliver your lines!”

 

That’s it. Here I am again with my moronic star struck syndrome. I thought after seeing her, I would get better but I guess I was wrong. Ugh,Someone please help me!

 

“Take 3. Ready. Action! “

 

She directed her toy sword towards me and then it was supposed to be my turn but she flashed me that smile again and that sparkling eyes of hers. Heaven! *0* And here I am, so star struck than ever, I kept getting dazzled!

 

“CUT!”

 

I mentally slapped myself. Ugh. I really need some serious medication right now. I need to get a hold of myself. Director-nim now went nearer to me and showed me himself how I should do this and that. He seemed to be a little frustrated that I couldn’t do any of it when it’s clearly so simple. I gave him my most apologetic smile.

 

Before, retaking the scene, Jiyeon went nearer to me. She whispered, “It’s alright. We all experience the same thing in one way or another. Don’t feel pressured. “ she gave me her encouraging smile and then winked.

 

And then I think I just died.

 

“Take 4! Action!”

 

She nodded at me reassuringly and directed the sword at me. I successfully countered the sword. Yeah finally.

 

“What wrong has Min Song done?” It took every ounce of my muscle to deliver that! I felt so enchanted!

 

She smiled yet again! Ahhhhhhh.. She’s an angel!

 

“It’s So Ji sub by the way.”

 

I swallowed hard so as not to get lost idiotically in the scene. “Practice acting. I think So Jisub would want to kill you more instead of you killing him.” Wow. That was cool. I finally did it. I think her wink gave me the right medicine to my star struck syndrome. Maybe I need to get a daily dose of that! :D

 

Then she tripped me and kept on hitting me. My body just reacted naturally as well as my expression. She added, “ Stop bullying me. Aisshhh. Do you want to die?” She continued hitting me almost endlessly. Man, she has real strength, this girl. Her hits actually hurt. Well, I shouldn’t be surprised, that’s as expected coming from a 3^rd dan taekwondo.

 

Then Kahi noona thankfully barged in. I swear I would have ended up in the hospital if Kahi noona was one second later. “What are you doing in the practice room, with your sword?”

 

I stood then flashed Kahi noona my best poker face.

 

“JB, you made trouble so well. Go to the president’s room.” I sighed deeply and then I was out of the scene!

 

“CUT!” Whew, thank goodness it’s done!

 

We ended our filming for the day. We were all extremely exhausted.

 

Someone tapped me on my back and was surprised to see it was Jiyeon, “You did great!”  she told me before she hurriedly went away, she looked like she’s catching up some pre-scheduled appointment with T-ara.

 

And me? I’m sure I really looked like a zombie because of being extremely tired but no, not anymore. I looked more of a vampire-suffering-from-blood-indigestion. My cheeks were burning red because of what Jiyeon had just done to me. And I have a feeling that I’d be having a difficulty in finding sleep tonight.

 

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Sorry for the late upload. :D And please bear with any typographical error, I'm a little bit sleepy while I was encoding this, so please spare me. XD

Anyways,I especially enjoyed writing JB’s conversation with his bestfriend and his toy sword scene with Jiyeon:)

 

So, what are your thoughts about JB’s star struck syndrome? :D

 

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