It was the longest lunch break I ever had. T-ara were all so focused with my talkative buddy, JR. I didn’t get to talk much because I didn’t know how to involve myself with their conversation; JR did almost all the talking actually. We just all listened to JR’s blabbering while eating our lunch that T-ara didn’t even notice that Jiyeon and I weren’t in good terms. You know, the whole time, she didn’t even throw a glance at me.

 

At the end of the break,

 

“Jiyeonaaahh, we have to go.. “ Hyomin noona sadly informed their maknae.

 

Then without warning, Eunjung noona told me, “JB, since you would be with Jiyeon a lot of times, I expect you to take care of her for us, okay?”

 

I smiled and nodded reassuringly at Eunjung noona and the rest of T-ara.

 

“Unnie..” Jiyeon protested while JR interrupted yet again, “ You don’t need to worry, without you telling that, hyung will surely take care of Jiyeon, right Jiyeon?” Aisssshh, why did he have to say all that? This guy didn’t know where to place himself, he’s such an insensitive kid sometimes.

 

Jiyeon became suddenly stiff, “JR’s right, you don’t have to worry about me that much.”

 

But what about me taking care of you? Isn’t that right too? She just purposely omitted that part. Well I guess she was just being nice with me during the press conference.

 

T-ara finally bid goodbye while JR, Jiyeon and I proceeded to the filming location.

 

“Jiyeon ssi, when will T-ara visit you again?” JR asked Jiyeon while we’re on our way to the set.

 

“Meolla. I was even surprise earlier that they could pay me a visit.” They were talking casually while I felt like an outcast

 

“They’re really nice,” JR dreamily told Jiyeon. . It looked like they didn’t even notice that I was actually with them.

 

“Of course they are, I told you they’re the best!” It seemed like Jiyeon’s persistent  about ignoring me.

 

“Ohh. Hyung, why aren’t you talking?” argh, JR is such an idiot. He’s just so dense that I almost couldn’t take it.

 

“Well, I don’t have much to say, alright. Go on with your conversation, don’t mind me.” I was clenching my fist secretly. I would make it to a point that JR gets some serious scolding later. And I also had to make sure to talk with Jiyeon once and for all, it’s really unfair treating me like this when I have no idea why.

 

We reached the set just in time. Everyone was busy practicing their showcase number. We all rehearsed one last time and the filming officially started.  

 

Ailee and Sooyoung noona first performed. They’ve had three takes at maximum and  then they’re done. Next off was Jiyeon ssi and Sora noona’s turn,

 

I have waited for so long

My breaths that were mixed with tears,

There were too many of those days.

I barely survived.

 

Ahhhhh.. Angelic beauty perfectly matched with her angelic voice. ~ <3  Sora noona then started acting like she couldn’t sing because of some technical difficulty supposedly, and so Jiyeon continued singing,

 

Whenever that happened

There was something that protected me

It was a small dream.

 

Wishing on a star…

 

Now, everyone started worrying about Haesung’s mic problem. They weren’t paying attention to Rian. But me? For some reasons, I still was engrossed with Jiyeon’s voice..

 

If you’ll hear me out,

I’m happier than anyone else.

I won’t cry anymore.

I will stop my tears.

I’m going to start smiling now.

I know the road I will be travelling won’t be easy

But I can do it.

Someday my dreams will come true.

Ooooh. Yeah.. I know.. Oooh..

 

Oh my gawd, why didn’t this precious voice of hers be shown more in T-ara’s songs? Her voice had so much potential. Not to mention how it’s very soothing and relaxing.. In fact, it’s sooo addictive..  or is it just me?

 

I will promise my dreams to those stars

That I will not give up

 

And aaahhhhhhm, she showed her ever so radiant smile, *0* When will I ever get used to it? She always seemed more impossibly beautiful. It had always left me melting..

 

If someone will hear my songs,

I will be happier than anyone else

Now, I’m wishing on a star..

 

After concluding her song, the crowd applauded as part of the script but I clapped with them too even though I wasn’t being filmed. XD And I wanted to ask for a repeat perf from her just to hear her voice again but they already nailed the scene perfectly that they don’t need anymore of her singing.

 

We filmed more about the mic incident with little NGs then here came our romantic scene together.  Just a reminder, Jiyeon and I haven’t really had a proper conversation so there was still the element of awkward atmosphere between us. Hopefully, it won’t be that obvious when the cameras already started rolling.

 

The scene was when Rian got blamed with taking the batteries out from Haesung’s microphone. ..

 

Jiyeon slowly and painfully took her steps through the staircase and stopped half-way. She looked so helpless and vulnerable. She was forcing herself to hold back her tears. After a moment, I came into the scene. I went down through the same staircase meeting her half-way. When I was already in front of her,

 

“I want to be alone. Go.”

 

Why do I feel like she really meant it? That she wasn’t just lifting up the lines from our script but instead she really wanted to say that every time I was trying to approach her.

 

“I told you to go. Go!” The intensity from the way she delivered her lines made me speechless. It was a relief that it was the kind of reaction the script and the director was asking me.

 

“Fine. I did it.” She stopped and looked at me with difficulty,

 

 “Why?” she added, I never felt this devastated before.

 

“What are you going to do about it?” she screamed hysterically at me, at the same time she was trying not to cry.

 

I finally found my voice following the script accordingly, “ I know you didn’t do it,”

 

“I know you’re not really like that,” I told her with all sincerity, looking straight into her eyes.

 

“Why are you being like this all of a sudden? Just go. Go!”

 

How could I leave her just like that when she’s in that kind of state? She needed me. I wanted to comfort her, to make her feel better. It only felt natural to have her in my arms, so I pulled her into my personal space; having her head lean on my shoulder and my arm around her. She was sobbing endlessly that I instinctively wrapped my other arm around her waist, pulling her closer to me, not minding how my heart beat raced so fast. We stayed just like that until she calmed down.

 

“CUT!” yelled our director and suddenly followed by thunderous applause coming from the crew. Jiyeon broke a hold from my embrace.

 

“Wow!” Our director exclaimed! What’s happening here? I looked at them confusedly, “In just one take, you had your expression and action done accurately JB! Keep it up!”

 

My eyes grew wide! I almost forgot that we’re actually filming. I got carried away with her acting skills again.

 

Why did it feel different whenever I film emotional scenes with Jiyeon? I almost thought it was the real deal, the reality.

 

I faced Jiyeon and waited for her to say something, “Well done.” And that’s all I could get from her.

 

I stared at her blankly.. When awareness engulfed us, the awkwardness came back rushing between us.  

 

“You did better,” I shortly replied to shove away the weirdest feeling I ever felt.

 

Thank Goodness, the crew didn’t seem to notice the gap between Jiyeon and I. It only means that I need to sort it out before they even find out. It would be really embarrassing if they knew that we weren’t in good terms.

 

Jiyeon and I took a break while the other actors filmed.  

 

And now, no distractions whatsoever, we finally had our chance alone.

 

“Jiyeon ssi, can we talk?” It took me all of my energy to have the courage to talk to her.

 

She stared at me bewildered. She didn't respond. 

 

“Jaebum ssi,”

 

Jiyeon and I both looked at where the voice was coming from.

 

“Ohh, Hyorin noona..” my voice trailed off.. She came in the wrong timing. 

 

“I’ll leave first, it seemed like you two have some business to finish,” Jiyeon coldly brushed Hyorin noona and I.

 

“Wait, Jiyeonaaahh..” I grabbed her arm, and she flashed me her cheerful façade with her gritted teeth, “ Hyorin unnie will be disappointed if you don’t entertain her. Now, let go.” She then walked hurriedly away from us.

 

“Hyorin noona, let’s talk some time later, okay? Mian.” I was bowing profusely to her.

 

“No prob,” she cheerfully responded. Although I was sort of rude with Hyorin noona, I really had to sort things with Jiyeon before things get worse.

 

With that, I followed Jiyeon.