No doubt, I was surprise. However, the longer he stared me down, the more the anger welled up inside me. My hands ball up into tight fights as I tried to control myself from starting another fight. My face contorted into a strained expression and my jaws clenched. Doojoon looks at me in the same piteous way and tries to approach me. I take a step back.

“Listen, Yoseob-” he starts, trying to get closer to me.

Exasperated, I interrupt him. “No, I don’t want to hear this,” I say with gritted teeth. “I don’t know what’s going on with Junhyung, but don’t drag my relationship into this.” I turned away from him, ready to leave.

Doojoon pulls back my arm. “Yoseob, you do not understand me,” he tries again.

I pull my arm away from him harshly, and he gives me a surprised look. “Stop! You’re not going to tell me what to do! I’ve had enough-“

“Hyuna doesn’t love you!” Doojoon cuts me off.

 I look at him in disbelief. He too looks surprised with what he just said. “What?” my voice croaks.

“No, I didn’t-“ Doojoon says as I cut him off.  Without even knowing it, my fist creates an impact as it makes contact with his right cheek. Doojoon staggers back, holding onto his face. “Yoseob,” he coughs, “listen to me, please.” He clutches on his cheek as his eyes water. It gave me a slight pang on my chest, watching our leader try so hard. “Junhyung, don’t fight with him, please. He’s your brother.”

“I’m sorry Doo,” I mumble as I walked away from him with heavy footsteps.

“Yoseob!” he cries out, his voice strained. I stopped walking but I didn’t bother to look at him. He acknowledges this and continues, “I hope you wouldn’t leave BEAST for some girl! You can do better than that.” I grit on my teeth. Then, without uttering a word, I left Doojoon alone and headed to my secret place.

~~~

I threw my head back with my eyes shut. The sound of the running water never fails to calm my down. However I couldn’t help but to think about what happened. BEAST and Hyuna, they’re both such important figures in my life. And Junhyung, my friend, my brother; he’s the one who brought me to BEAST. What did Doojoon mean when he told me not to fight Junhyung? What does Junhyung have to do with my relationship with Hyuna? I dishevel my hair in annoyance. They’re all my family; I can’t possibly choose which one’s more important.

For sure I wouldn’t give up Hyuna without a fight. She’s important to me. She wasn’t just a girlfriend. To me, she was worth more than that. She was my best friend, the closest gal I’ve ever opened up to. As outgoing as I seem to be to other people, I didn’t feel myself connecting to them as I did with Hyuna. My problems, my insecurities; she’s the only one I’ve bothered to tell them all to. However our friendship, which had turned into something deeper, was now hanging by a thread.

With my mind still muddled, I stand up. No one’s going to solve my problems but myself. Taking a one last glance at the running waters of the stream, I sighed and began to leave. To Junhyung’s place, Doojoon’s place or Hyuna’s place, I wasn’t sure. However, I know I’ll have to settle this.