Jiwook's POV

It's been quiet the whole time in the car after Hanna and Key had their goodbyes outside. The atmosphere inside here is just too unnerving and bothersome. I'm not usually like this.. we're not usually like this. I dislike the quiet game. 

We were still driving down the freeway back home and the sky's intensity on the last remaining hours of the day was just worsening the mood. I tried distracting the uncomfortable vibe by turning up the radio, but the sound was too glitchy and it bothered me even more, so that was tuned out. 

I glanced over at Hanna to see if she was getting any better, but to no avail she was still looking out the window in deep thought. I sighed, knowing I couldn't do anything to help, but just leave her be and let her solve things out by herself. That's something that always bothered me about Hanna. She can be helpful, giving, charitable, at times almost too giving, that when people try to return the favor and help her in anything she needs help with, she rejects the offer and says that she is fine- she can handle it on her own. 

Earlier, a couple minutes after she got inside the car, I asked her if she would like to go eat, go to the park, or even go to her favorite asian mini mart, but she said no it's fine. All I want to do is help her- all I want to do is make sure she's happy and will always smile.. 

And that was also one thing I was unsure of with her and Key.. I knew Key was famous and I knew there were girls Hanna would be intimidated of that would throw themselves at him. If they had the slightest luck of turning into something.. I didn't want Hanna's reason of crying to me to be about Key. But apparently as I see it, Key and Hanna have gotten a lot closer in these past couple of days while she was gone, and I've been wanting to ask her if they've dated already, but have broken up. What is their relationship?

I looked over at Hanna again, but she was still in the same position as earlier and continued looking out the window. I decided to try and break the silence and see if I could last us a whole conversation until we get home. 

I cleared my throat," Hanna?"

"Yes?" she replied with a soft, quiet tone.

"Are you feeling alright?" I sincerely smiled. 

She nervously laughed and smiled back," Feeling alright? Of course I'm alright. Why would you ask if I'm.. alright?"

"Do I not have the right to know if you're alright or not?" I looked over at her and noticed she was looking at me with a smile. She looked so strong and unbreakable.. the way her face was still lit up with her bright, nice smile and her cheerful eyes. It's almost impossible to see that she has been feeling horrible during this moment.. sometimes I wish I had her confidence. 

"No," she chuckled," but you know what I would always say. If I'm troubled or worried, I wouldn't need anybody's help or concern, because I can do-"

"Everything on your own," I finished for her. 

I looked over at her and noticed she seemed taken aback from what I said. She paused, fluttered her eyes downwards, then lowered her head and continued playing with the edges of her phone. My smile slowly faded and I returned my gaze towards the road, noticing our exit was coming up soon and we were almost home. 

Now that I think about it.. what have I gotten myself into? How did I get so close to Hanna? Was our relationship like this before? I mean.. are we on friend terms? She was a pretty unusual classmate.. and we never really talked to each other.. until I wanted to know her more and made that stupid letter for her saying I like her and.. we liked each other already, but now she met Key and they have their own little story going on.. everything moved so fast and now suddenly I realize.. we're just friends..

We've always tried to be friends way back since elementary school, but there was always an awkward spark. I always had this interest in Hanna, and I always saw her eating alone in the same spot in the corner back table of the cafeteria. She always had one friend with her though, I think it was Minhee? Maybe, but yes, I tried going up to her, but my friends always told me how scary she was and with one look she'll take your soul- you know that elementary school crap? Ugh, it makes me cringe. Anyways, because of my young gullible self, I regret those days for not trying my best to talk to her. 

And here I am driving her back from Shinee's place, the band that's plastered everywhere on her binder, clothes, and room apparently, without her and I awkwardly trying to make conversations to attempt to get closer to one another.. she completely tore me out of the picture.. and all I'm doing is trying to help her and support her.. does she know that I actually still like her? Did she forget... what happened at the Han River?

"Jiwook.." Hanna's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I quickly glanced towards her, then back at the road. 

I shook my head. Be grateful with what you already have Jiwook. At least you and Hanna are close now. " Ah, yes?"

"Thank you," she softly smiled," for being able to pick me up. I'm grateful to have great friends like you."

Those words crippled my heart a little, but I just smiled in return and ignored how I felt at the moment. So she really did forget about her feelings towards me.. and her mind must be occupied with only Key now. That is understandable though.. how she would forget about me, and go for Key. I'm just happy to know that we've gotten closer now.. as friends. I hope our friendship will be bonded even greater after this day. 

I hope to not take the people that I am close with for granted this time.. 

This time...

Hanna's POV

It's only been about half an hour and I'm already missing Key. But how can I miss him? Am I allowed to miss him? This whole situation is depressing me.. the fact that I can't see Key in God knows how long.. 

Or am I just being too clingy with his affections? When I'm with guys I can't help but think they all like me, not to sound so self-centered, but I just get the wrong intentions all the time is what I'm saying. I keep mistaking Key's feelings towards me, these last couple of days, as love or friendliness. It's so rare to meet such nice people these days, that we tend to mistaken nice as flirtatious.

I need to have one long feels talk with Minhee when we get home..

I sighed and tapped my head a couple times against the window. He can't fall in love with me that fast. No one can fall in love that fast.. but didn't he say he liked me? No wait.. he was just sleep talking that one time in the apartment.. 

But then he took me out to lunch afterwards and we talked even more and-

"You better prepare yourself now," Jiwook suddenly spoke aloud. 

I looked up and turned my head towards him. "What do you mean?"

He looked at me, then looked back at the road,"We're almost home."

I paused for a second. "Okay."

Jiwook just chuckled as he took a smooth turn into our exit and stopped shortly at the red light. 

"You haven't been home in days and the whole neighborhood is out looking for you. You want to face your mother with a distressed face as if you're so upset to be back home?"

I finally understood what he was talking about and quickly flipped the car mirror above me down. I slid the mirror open and detangled parts of my hair and wiped off excess mascara that was faded along the sides of my eyes. Dear gosh, I look like a mess. 

We drove past the stop light and I noticed our neighborhood slowly coming up. My heart was beating anxiously, but I don't know what for? It's either I'm so excited to be brought back home, or I'm deathly afraid of what everyone is going to say once I step out of the car. Then maybe I'm feeling a little bit of both.

I closed my eyes when we drove along the sidewalk and parked right in front of my house. I heard Jiwook unbuckle his seatbelt, then let out a restless sigh. 

"Well, we're home!" 

I still kept my eyes closed.  He breathlessly laughed.

"Are you getting out or not?"

I shook my head no.

"You know I can't walk back inside the house and tell them 'Oh yeah, about me telling you guys that I found Hanna and I was going to pick her up.. well.. she doesn't want to go back home, sorry about that.'"

I laughed and covered my eyes. I don't feel like going inside right now..

"Hanna, hiding won't help."

I let out a frustrated puff of air and helplessly turned towards him. 

"What if I pretend to be passed out. Can you carry me inside and tell them you're going to bring me up to my room? Oh! But secretly tell Minhee to follow you up to my room so she can "help" me get better?" I put my hands together and squeezed my eyes shut until I heard him answer. 

I heard the car door open then close and prayed he obliged to my offer. I nearly jumped when, out of nowhere, I felt his arm graze against my side to unbuckle my seatbelt. Suddenly I was lifted off the warm cushion of the seat and was greeted with a breeze of air. I let my arms falls down and kept my eyes closed to look as if I was really passed out and unconscious. 

"You're a good actress," Jiwook mocked then closed the car door and took out his car keys to lock up his car. "Mmmm.." was my reply.

----

Jiwook stopped walking and I heard the doorbell ring. My heart rate increased a thousand when I heard the front door being unlocked and the creak of an opening door followed after. I tried to stay focus on me looking unconscious, so I stopped nibbling on my lip and kept my eyes closed tightly. 

After a few second of silence passed, I began to hear whimpering and sharp gasps of air. The sound resembled a tiny puppy lost in the woods whimpering for help. I heard a couple more soft whines and constant sniffing. I thought this would be Minhee crying, but usually when I do something stupid that makes her cry she'll slap me anways despite how hurt or mentally disconnected I was. 

"Hanna.. my baby.."

I was so tempted to open my eyes, but I didn't want to be bombarded with a billion eyes directed at me and the wave of questions pressuring me at the moment. I just want to rest in my room and think and vent, but.. 

"Yes Mrs. Choi, I finally found Hanna."

I felt a quick stab at my heart when I heard my mothers name in reply to the woman crying. That sobbing.. whimpering.. that's my mother? Is she really crying towards me? Is she crying about me? Is she crying because she finally realized how stupid her daughter was for disappearing? My mother never cries. At least, never cries about me. The last time she cried this hard was only when my dad died. And ever since then.. she never showed emotion towards me ever.. which evidently explains her pure bluntness towards me.

I slightly flinched when I felt a hand caress my face. I immediately froze when I felt her head fall right on top of my stomach as she cried desperatly into my clothes. She cried aloud like muffled screaming and grabbed onto my limp arm hanging on the side. She just kept trembling and tightly grasped onto my arm with each breath she took and soon I started to feel her tears soaking into my blouse. I hope she doesn't think I'm dead right now. 

"It's okay Mrs. Choi, you don't have to worry about her anymore. Now that we know she's safe, we can just bring her up to her room and wait until she wakes up," Jiwook thankfully covered well.

Then Jiwook tried shifting forward and I felt my mothers head lift from my shirt and slowly slide her grip down from my elbow to my hand. 

I heard more of her sniffing, then forcibly, but quietly, repeat out the words,"...This can't happen again! This can't happen again!"

A tear threatened to slip out of the corner of my eyes and I just hoped she didn't see. I didn't know what to think of at the moment.. My mother has been just so blunt with me for half of my life up to this point, and I took all of her bluntness and monotone replies as sarcastic remarks and always joked with her, so that if she really did threaten or hurt me with certain words, I'd just make a joke out of it. But hearing her now.. listening to cry hysterically.. over me? Listening, but not seeing, true emotions for the first time ever in my life. At times I doubted if she ever really wanted me in the first place, if she only kept me because of my father.. but knowing she was afraid that she might of lost me already.. noticing the fear of officially losing me..knowing she had a second to care about me in such a way.. makes me feel so warmfully loved again. 

"I'm so sorry Hanna.." I heard her whisper. "...I keep failing you as a mother.."

My eyes filled with tears up to the brim and it began stinging. I begged Jiwook in my mind to hurry and bring me up to my room now, because I really need to lay down at the moment. 

Jiwook decided not to say anything and just stayed silent. My mother slowly began to slide her hand away from mine and eventually my arm was brought down and remained limp on the side. A part of me wanted to open my eyes and hug her and cry on her, but the other part wanted to stay quiet and just relieve all of these thoughts privately on my own. I felt so uncomfortable just laying here and waiting till we make a move, so I shifted slightly in Jiwook's arms to signal that we really have to get upstairs now. He took notice and then proceeded up the stairs. When we were almost at the top, I think he knew I was silently crying, by the way I kept on shivering probably, because I heard him clearly yet faintly say,"When you hear the door knob twist twice, just let everything out."

We finally stopped moving. And I heard the door knob twist once. He took a few steps forward.

I waited, then kept silent.

We finally stopped moving. And I heard the door knob twist twice. He took a few steps forward.

I waited, then I cried. 

I cried.. I sobbed.. I shaked.. I stuttered.. I hysterically screamed into my pillow.. 

I've never felt this certain way in so long, that I'm surprised by the way I'm acting. I never knew you could cry for such good reasons. I thought a reason to cry was because you were hurt or sad or angry. 

I thought I started crying because I was sad how my mom never showed her love towards me up until now. But maybe I'm crying so hard to the point where I'm in full happiness, because I realized that my mom actually loves me. 

And then my heart calmed down, and all my worries about everything began to vanish, and now I know I finally have someone who can support me and be there for me for everything and anything.

And now I realized how not so alone I am anymore.

I'M SORRY. IT'S BEEN SO LONG HASN'T IT  LDKSFLA;GKJ HUHUHU WHY IS THIS CHAPTER SO DEPRESSING SOUNDING. I'M SORRY IF YOU WERE EXPECTING SOMETHING BETTER.. 

I just needed to get the mother situation out of the way. Since she was very blunt sounding in the beginning, and I told you guys I'll explain the mother shiz later, and now seemed like an appropriate time to explain.. and.. yeah..

It seems so short.. and sad.. 

There.is.no."hahas".or."awww's~". But.You.Will.See.That.Next.Chapter.

OKAY. I'M SORRY AGAIN. BUT HERE IS CHAPTER 29.FINALLY.OKAY.I.LOVE.YOU.NEW.SUBBIES.AND.I.LOVE.YOU.CURRENT.SUBBIES. LIKE.WTHHOWEVENALMOST200.OKAY.BYE.

oh yeeeah~ check out the new chapter banner BlueeeSkiies made for meeee. Ishshokyoote thank you! <3