Our outstanding teamwork had gotten our drowning comrades back to safety. Still breathing heavily, I quickly inspected Chanyeol to see what the reason behind his unconsciousness was. JongIn was still lying on his back, trying to regain his strength after such a stressful mission. Lay came up to my side, and being him the better doctor, I told him to take care of Chanyeol. Meanwhile, I crawled to where JunMyun was sitting, being taken care of by XiuMin and LanFang. The couple found no injuries on him, so they simply let him rest so he could recover from the shock. But I needed some answers now, so rest would have to wait. I positioned myself in front of him, taking the weak man by the shoulders, and worriedly staring into his dark, penetrating eyes.

MJ: Junmyun! Are you alright? Does anything hurt? Are you fully conscious and aware of yourself?! (The man slowly nodded, staring right back at me with a blank expression). Thank heavens!! We were worried sick! I was about to have a heart attack if I lost you both… But SuHo, you have to tell me what happened. How the hell did you two get here?! I can’t think of a single reason for this to have occurred; everything is plain confusing. Now tell me everything!

SuHo still seemed in a daze but managed to nod. He began to gesture, occasionally mouthing a word or two. I carefully made out the message, and at the end of it doubted if I had interpreted something wrong.

MJ: JunMyun, are you sure about that? I mean, isn’t it weird that you both were riding just fine, and all of a sudden the horse started to run in a random direction?

XiuMin gave out a personal explanation on the situation, but I don’t think it was a very valid one. I don’t think LanFang found it amusing either, since she punched him on the right shoulder.

MJ: MinSeok…. I don’t think horses get rabies…or do they?

Xiumin confirmed that it was true. Even though he wasn’t good with horses, he knew a lot about them because his little sister was a jockey, so he had to hear her out every time she had some new information on her favorite animal. I can’t hide the fact that I saw a hurtful expression of Mr. Bun’s face while talking about his lost sibling. LanFang noticed it too, and so she patted her partner’s back, trying to comfort him. He tenderly smiled at her, feeling pleased to know he could count with her for support. I nodded, assuring him that I believed his words. And so, I went back to speaking with JunMyun.

MJ: Okay, let’s go over everything. You two were riding normally until the beast went berserk and started to run away from the group. Chanyeol was the one guiding the animal, but lost control of it in the situation. Eventually, the horse brought you here and stumbled onto the quicksand, where it met its end…and you two almost did as well… Still, how is it that we didn’t hear anything? Why didn’t you scream?

SuHo said they tried to maintain the situation, but at some point they knew they couldn’t control the outcome. That was when they screamed, but they were too far away already, and so apparently we couldn’t hear them. The animal didn’t make any noises at first, but once it saw itself free and wild it began to neigh and snort loudly. The man’s expressions show they were afraid of the animal and the consequences.

MJ: I see… What could have caused such an attitude in the animal?.. in case that it wasn’t a sudden rage of rabies. But still, it must have been a horrible moment for you two. And speaking of two: why, how, and when did Chanyeol faint?

The angelic man shrugged, not knowing the answer to the questions. He only saw that Channie had gone unconscious the moment they landed on the muck. That means the tall man could have fainted before or after falling. If it was before, it must have been out of fright. If it was after, it was most likely due to the impact.

I was trying to imagine how it all happened, while the rest of us continued on without a clue of what was going on. I thanked SuHo for his sincere report, and told him to take a rest until we were ready to leave. The man smiled and nodded, lying down on the cold dessert sands. I told LanFang and MinSeok to keep an eye on him; also to help JunMyun get the excess slime off of him. I got up and walked by HaeRi and Lay, who were still trying to wake up Channie. I went directly to the worn-out JongIn that was silently staring at the starry night sky while lying on his back. He was covered with the muck as well, but he didn’t care apparently… he had other things to worry about. I kneeled next to him and bent over him, blocking his view.

MJ: How are you feeling champ? Everything okay? (He simply nodded, now looking straight at my face). Good… It was very brave what you just did for Chanyeol… I’m proud of you JongIn… (I smiled).  I know you’re cold hearted at times, but that’s all a false façade; I know you truly care about everybody… Deep down inside, you’re just like me… an over protective father that worries over the smallest things (He continued to stare at me with a poker face on; he just sighted). I know it’s hard to accept you’re a softie, but it’s better than carrying a lump of coal for a heart (he finally managed a soft chuckle). See! You just confirmed that you’re a softie! And I have to say, I turned into a bigger blob of softness when I got here, so I can tell you it feels pretty good…

Kai sat up, taking his knees to his chest, crossing his arms over them, and resting his head over them while looking my way with a big smile; he looked beautiful and innocent like that. I couldn’t resist the temptation to pat his soft hair. I noticed there was mud on his right cheek, so I slid my hand down his face and slowly whipped the residues off his soft, tanned skin… Then it came again… those feelings from before… the chest pain… the weak legs… the uncontrollable desire to keep staring at him… And what was worst… he was noticing my attitude… and he was responding indirectly… those parting lips could not mean anything good!! I had to make things clear for him; I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea! I had to snap out of it fast! THINK MINJEONG! THINK YOU E!!... ...

MJ: …OMG KAI! I JUST NOTICED!!! YOU LOOK EXACTLY LIKE LEE TAEMIN FROM SHINEE!!!! HOLY ! How could I not notice before!? I use to be a BIIIIG SHINee fan… you know them, right?

I tried to smile like a little girl, as if nothing had happened some seconds before. Kai seemed confused, maybe because he imagined something and it turned out to be something else… pretty much because I changed it… He slowly nodded, meaning he did know who they were. He then added that his little sister liked them, so he was in charge of taking her to their concerts and fan signings. But now, the whole situation had gone from happy, to misleading, to gloomy… JongIn stopped looking at me and directed his view to the front, glancing at the sandy night horizon, showing a depressing frown and pensive eyes… I wanted to take him into my arms and hug him tightly to my chest, comforting him in his sorrow, but my state of mind wasn’t ready to do such a thing at the moment. I wanted to stop the topic there, but a question popped onto my head, and I guess asking it now or later will make him just as sad, so might as well get the doubt out up front…

MJ: …Kai… your sister… she passed away because she talked, right?... (the man slowly nodded, still looking to the unknown in front of him)… Do you know exactly how? I mean, you guys can scream and the Cyanide pod doesn’t inject you; you also mouth out words, and it doesn’t have any consequences… Did she actually spoke words, or was it a glitch in the system?...

The boy closed his eyes for some seconds, and I knew he was trying hard not to let anything roll down his face. I looked the other way, in case he was embarrassed of crying in front of me; besides, seeing men cry crushes my heart in pieces. I heard him straightening up and so I turned his way again. He began moving his arms, explaining what had happened to the young girl...

JongIn and his little sister, InNa, had finally met up after being separated for some months. They decided to stay together no matter what; and if the player lost the game and the Exotics came to separate them, they would fight back… but they weren’t going to leave each other…not again… And so they went on together for a few days, until the game ended. They were hiding in a safe point cave, making sure no one found them even after the game ended, but it was no use. One night they got ambushed by a group of the Exotics, who had come to take them back to their respective prisons. Kai fought back as hard as he could, only to see how he and InNa were once again being taken apart. Finally, he got free and ran towards her. He was about to reach her, ready to attack the two Exotics taking a hold of her by the shoulders. He was only feet away, when he saw her sister’s horrid expression. Desperation, fear, and anxiety was all she could display… and a second later, she simply did what her heart told her…

IN: BROOTHEEEER!! BEHIND YOU!!!!!.......AH!

Kai acted out more on reflex than commandment; his body turned around to find an Exotic striking down his hammer; a mortal strike if JongIn hadn’t dodged it. Even though he kept running from the crazy man, he just wanted to go to his sister… Ask her why she had done such a thing! Now…now she was injected with Cyanide and she would die… Just then he wanted to die with her; he was ready to scream her name out loud so he too would be wounded! But his sister knew him oh to well…

IN: DON’T KAI!! DON’T TALK!!! You have to survive….You have to live!! You’re the only one…the only one who can win this game…. You need to tell the World!.. You have to go back to our parents… please…PLEASE DON’T TALK!...

The girl began to cry, while still being carried away by the henchmen. JongIn was confused, still running away from the hammer that continued trying to take his existence. He wanted to have some time with his sister; he had to try and save her! But how!?! These men were making everything difficult for him! If he was going to survive and accomplish his sister’s last will, he had to keep running…. And eventually run away from her… but he refused! He had to stay near her! He wasn’t about to abandoned her little sister at the most critical point of her life! Once again, InNa saw that her brother was struggling against his emotions, and so tried to ease his pain. Some minutes had gone by since she had been injected, so she was slowly and painfully reaching her end. Only a fable voice could escape her broken, tear-drenched lips; she wasn’t even fighting against the Exotics anymore, she just hung by her shoulders

IN:...Kai oppa… don’t worry about me… I’ll be alright…… Remember… people do crazy things…for the ones they want to protect… Please… Take care of yourself…… I will love you like no other … JongIn…

Kai refused to believe what was happening. The pain and agony that everything produced in him was enough to make stop thinking clearly. He acted out on instinct, and just ran straight towards her, forgetting about the Exotic that was destined to kill him. He ran with all his might, reaching InNa just in time before she fell face first to the ground. The Exotics had stopped taking a hold of her when she gave a sense of banishment. Their attacks seized, and it was only Kim JongIn and Kim InNa, frozen in a fraction of seconds, where they shared their last glances. She extended her right arm in the air, slowly reaching JongIn’s cheek. Her white skin was now turning a slight tone of pink, apparently a result of the Cyanide. Still, her pale epidermis contrasted with her brother’s dark one. He didn’t know when, but Kai had started crying, taking his sisters hand in his… slowly squeezing it, as if he could make her stay in this World by pulling on her… She knew him like the palm of her hand; it was as if they were a part of each other… if one part went missing, the other would wither in time… and that’s what happened…

IN:…K…K…Kai… be…s..str…o..ong…

InNa gave JongIn a tender smile while tears still rolled down her pinkish cheeks. Her eyes closed… and her hand became weak in his… but before he could become a puppet to his uncontrollable emotions… a hard hit came straight to his head... Next thing JongIn knew, he was waking up inside the already familiar prison… He knew what had happened, and so… he changed… he became hard and cold… he only thought about himself and his own survival He thought that if he didn’t get close to anyone, he wouldn’t get hurt in such a manner ever again… he forgot what feeling and sentiments were… he showed fake emotions to win the players trust, but the players always lost or ran away from him… so he once again was reassured that feelings were just hurtful un-ephemeral matters that he wanted to escape from… And so, the new Kim JongIn came to be… The one that only lived to fulfill InNa’s wishes…To avenge her…

…

He may have been strong the first time he remembered his sister today, but now… he had turned into a baby… A broken man with mixed emotions and obscure life goals… This man was crying… and this was as real as falling tears gets… The tanned boy had lost his manly composure: sour grimace, squinting eyes that poured drops of pain, dripping nose, frustrated hair-grabbing, weeping breathes of solitude… The cold-hearted, coal-bearing beast was now an innocent child that threw away that shielding disguise that protected him from further harm… He was being his true self now… He managed to reach one of his jean’s pockets and took out of his old, rworrn-out wallet a small picture. He took it with both hands, letting tears land on it… It was a photo of a beautiful young girl that resembled JongIn vastly: thick lips, wide nose bridge, dark expressive eyes…

A moment ago I was having these pleasant feelings towards JongIn, but now not a single one was present. All I had in me to give was solidarism and comfort. I wasn’t afraid of touching him anymore; on the contrary, I wanted to feel his pain in me. I needed to support this divagating soul, not because of pity, but because I loved him… Be it in a motherly, friendly or womanly way, his pain was mine… and I wanted to feel every drop of it on me, so we could share the pain and sorrow… So he wouldn’t have to suffer alone… I threw myself over him, taking his disfigured face into my chest. He was as light as a feather; no resistance was made whatsoever. I held him tight to me, not giving the slightest though of letting him go anytime soon. It was in the midst of the silent embrace that I discovered my watered visage; I had been crying all this time without notice. No one had noticed what was happening, maybe due to the distance or simply because they all knew that moments like this I was the one to resolve them… or maybe they think it’s one of those KaiMin couple moments that I keep rejecting and evading….I knew how very well they were all acting blind towards the situation, and I was glad they did… I just closed my eyes and gave in, making myself a part of JongIn. I could feel every tear on my vest, and every breath on my bare chest. I just ruffled my face in between his dirty hair, kissing his scalp while drying my tears on his mane.

It’s hard to describe what I was feeling. Like I’ve said before, I wasn’t the type of person to cry over anything, but look at me now crying over someone else’s grief as if it were my own. And there I was, gripping onto Kai for deer happiness; just as he was holding onto me. I wish we could be like this for a long time, but under other situations… ones filled with joy and not sorrow… with laughter and not cries… with voices and not muting silence… I prayed the Lord to grant me this wish, but above all, to help this poor soul with his dark past…

…

Some time must have gone by until JongIn finally calmed down. He slowly departed from me, quickly wiping his eyes and nose with his sweatshirt’s sleeve; he then covered his swollen face with both hands. I cleaned my own face before proceeding to remove his hands from his still beautiful facial features; in between his hands was still InNa’s picture. I took it from him, bringing it up into a better view where I could appreciate all her mystical preciousness. I would have loved to meet her; she looked like a nice girl, just like Lia. I could imagine all the love that was going on with this brotherly couple, so it’s obvious a devastating consequence was more than enough reason to change one’s life so drastically. But now was time to take actions! I grabbed the boy’s hands in mine, still taking a hold of the small picture.

MJ: Listen Kai, I know what you’ve gone through is hard to overcome, but you need to leave it behind! Your sister… (I took the picture and showed it to him)… she wouldn’t be happy if she knew you’ve been like this all this time. Even though you’re making her will come true, you’re doing it the wrong way… If you want to overcome this pain that haunt you every second, you need to let people in….inside your heart, so it warms up… Because if it freezes, you’ll be lost forever… Listen JongIn! (I held his hands harder) I know I’ve said this too many times already, but I have to make you understand that it’s true! You have to trust me; I will never let anything harm you!...I will always protect you no matter what! So please… please…let me in…let me enter your heart, and together we can make wonderful accomplishments… one of them being your sister’s avenging… But not only me, you need to let others go in as well, because the World isn’t made out of you and me…but of US!..,,, After everything we’ve been through, you’ve already crossed my heart’s borders…

JongIn’s eyes opened wide in astonishment. Maybe my words caught him off guard, but it was about time we had things cleared up. I really don’t care how or how much I love JongIn, all I know is that he’s inside me, and he had to know… I smiled at him, and he managed to give a faint, yet radiant one as well. Now, it was time to end the drama and start the action!

MJ: Take your time to analyze what I’ve told you,,, just don’t take too long… people are waiting in line for your answer (I chuckled). But before we go on, I want to thank you Kai…for trusting me! For telling me your secrets and fears; for considering me your friend, for always watching out for me and the others… You hadn’t noticed, but you’ve been showing plenty of emotions since we met… I don’t know if they were fake or real, but at least is a start!

JongIn nodded, and firmly gripped my hands in his now. He mouthed a “Kamsamnida”, and out of the blue, he kissed the dorsal side of my hands. Before I could even ask the reason of such actions, he simply went ahead and said “for being who you are”. It was touching, but I refrained the desire to cry again. I simply smiled back and nodded.

And so, our conversation was finished seconds before our fellow ChanYeol woke up panting and sweating…