Selfish
The Shadow Games
Everything was white. The walls, the ceiling, the floor; it was an empty void without beginning or end. I was lying on the floor, wearing a pure white hooded coat with a short white tube dress underneath. I had no shoes, and my hair was loose. I stood up, looking in all directions to see if I could decipher where I was. I had never been in a place like this; so solitary and cold. I slowly walked without direction, just letting instinct guide me through the emptiness in front of me. I walked for some time… but I don’t think time mattered here; at least I didn’t feel in on my shoulders. Suddenly, I stopped walking; a shadow appeared some meters away from me. I followed its movements, seeing how it came towards me. As it got closer I could distinguish a figure in white as well; the shadow was its. The figure was wearing the same hood as me, covering its face. The figure finally reached me, leaving only a foot between us. I scrutinized the person, but couldn’t get much on it. The figure talked with a calmed, masculine voice.
???: MinJeong… You’ve done well… I’m proud…
The figure removed its hood, revealing to be none other than LuHan.
For a moment I doubted myself and my whereabouts; I knew something wasn’t making sense. Still, I managed to do the only thing my heart and brain wanted… I hugged him. I grabbed onto LuHan like dear life, crying onto his chest while I repeatedly called his name. He patted my hair, but at some point took me by the shoulder and separated me from him. He looked into my irritated eyes and smiled.
LH: Is that the MinJeong I know? You, Crying? I though crying was for losers!
MJ: You…don’t know…what it feels like LuHan… It all hurts too much… I couldn’t bear it… Everything that’s happened has changed me… I just want…to end it all!
LuHan looked at me with a sad expression. I wiped my tears away and asked a few things. I had to confirm if THIS was actually happening.
MJ: LuHan… are we…dead? I mean, you and I were separated, but now were together… Does that mean you got killed?... Did I die in the explosion?... Did we lose the game?!
LH: Take it easy MinJeong! You worry too much. Just calm down and try to organize yourself. I’m sorry, but I don’t have the answer to your questions. The only thing I do know is that we’re together again, and we’re never separating again. I’m here now… Everything is going to be alright… We’ll make it out…together…
I wanted to believe him; I wanted every one of his words to be real! But I knew this wasn’t true; instincts told me not to fall for it. Deep inside me something was hurting. I closed my eyes and tried to find what it was; I remembered Kai. I remembered his smile, his worried expression, how he acted when we fought, the first day we met… I knew these memories were calling me. I opened my eyes and LuHan was gone. I looked everywhere, but no sign of him. Suddenly, the white emptiness began to fill up with black holes: up, down, and all around. I started to run, trying not to touch on of these abnormalities. Sadly, a black hole opened right underneath me, making me fall into a dark abyss…
….
MJ: JONGIN!!!!!
I screamed at the top of my longs as I came forward. I was now sitting on the hard ground, breathing heavily. The first thing I saw in front of me was a worried Kai, grabbing me by the shoulders. I looked at him still in a daze… it had only been a dream. I wasn’t dead; and Kai was here. I slowly regained consciousness, still the only thing I could do was stare at the shirtless JongIn. He also analyzed my reaction. I scrutinized my new surroundings, finding out to be inside a tall cave with water at its entrance.
Suddenly, I felt a strong pain all around my torso: back, ribs, abdominal area. I fell back again, grunting loudly and repeatedly, the sharp pain was too much. I began to bang my hands against the floor at my sides. I felt Kai’s hand near and took it, gripping it to death while I grabbed my face with my right one. He took my hand away from my face and began to calmly shush me. My eyes were already watery due to the hurting. I began to decrease my respiration, trying to calm myself. I opened my eyes to find the tanned young man next to me, offering me a drink of water from the bomb canteen. He closed in the water container to my lips, and slowly let me drink. I was thirsty, still I only took a few gulps… someone interrupted me.
KS: It was about time you woke up. I was starting to get worried… Not that I should care of course…
I looked towards the person with the voice I knew so well. Kris was standing against the wall of the cave. His face stern and serious, as always.
He made his way towards me; once again I tried to sit, but the pain over won me. Kai laid me back, as if trying to make me rest.
KS: Listen to your friend; he knows what’s good for you.
MJ: What happened?.... Why are you here?... Did something happen to LuHan?!
KS: One thing at a time, babe. Let’s see, where do I start…
MJ: BaekHyun…… he died… I killed him (tears fell from my eyes)
KS: Okay, let’s start from there. Yes, you killed our 3rd in command. Byun BaekHyun is no longer part of this World. Congratulations on getting through EXO Tower… you’re the first one to survive it…
MJ: …you…BEAST! HOW CAN YOU TALK SO LIGHTLY ABOUT YOUR FRIEND!!!...Uhh! (I sat up automatically, making me grunt in pain)
KS: Friend?! BaekHyun wasn’t my friend; we were just work partners. Besides, we hated eachother… By the way, nice bra.
I looked down at myself. I was wearing my strawberry design bra and the blood stained lycra shorts. My body was covered in cuts, but my hurting torso was just a big black and blue. I glared at him.
KS: As I was saying. You just HAD to make a big fuss over BaekHyun; going around fulfilling his death wish. Well, due to that, you got caught in the last explosion. Lucky for you, JongIn went back to look for you and found you in between the rubble.
I looked at Kai, who was still kneeling at my left side. He slightly nodded, reassuring that what Kris was saying was true. I went back to the Exotic.
KS: Even more luck for you when the Exotics you helped evacuate from the tower helped your groupmates find this shelter so the field enemies didn’t attack; after all, the Sun was still up.
MJ: The Exotics did that?... and how long have I been unconscious?
KS: Yes they did. They even gave you water, weapons, and food (he pointed at each supply stash as he mentioned them). They were very grateful about what you did for them. But that’s gonna cost them. No Exotic is allowed to help the player under any circumstances. The Master will take care of them. And for your own safety… forget what BaekHyun told you. It’s all a lie…
The stuck up man suddenly became depressing and gloomy. His stare was now directed at the floor, as if he was thinking of something else other than what he was saying.
KS: … As for the time, you haven’t been sleeping long; about 4 hours. Night is already falling. The thing is you were inside EXO tower over a day; you’re on your 5th day here.
MJ: Wait…don’t change the topic! Why shouldn’t I believe BaekHyun? It all made perfect sense! He seemed real to me! I felt like…
KS: ENOUGH!.... Don’t complicate things MinJeong!....Just…don’t!
Kris was still looking at the floor; he didn’t want to make eye contact with me. His reaction was confusing. One moment he was neglecting BaekHyun; a second latter he gets emotional with the topic. I silently stared at him; it wasn’t a glare anymore.
MJ: …where do we need to go next?...
The man finally looked at me. He was still furrowing his brows. After a minute he finally answered.
KS: This cave is located right in between the Exopian River and EXO Tower….well, what it used to be. You need to swim out of the cave and make your way downstream. At the end, there will be the next stage. It’s a tricky one…
MJ:… and LuHan?.... How is he?.... Did you bring a video?
KS: Easy chick! Do you always ask so many questions? (he chuckled) LuHan…. LuHan is still alive, I can tell you that… And you pretty much saved him from a disgusting encounter…
MJ: What do you mean by that!?!
KS: Well, apparently Chen had something in mind to do with LuHan after he returned from the battle with you. But lucky for you, he got killed… Let’s say LuHan’s didn’t suffer…
So what Chen had said was true…
"I know I’m hot, but you don’t have to stare so much babe. Heh~ Or are you looking for something else? Cuz I’m not paying! I got your little friend for free back in the dungeon…”
Times like this I’m more than happy he died. I began to breathe heavily just by thinking about the horrible thing that could have happened to Luhan.
MJ: But still, LuHan is alright….for now at least…
KS: Yeah…sure…. Anyways, I guess I’ll leave now. You seem to not need me anymore…
The man began to walk towards the entrance of the cave that lead to EXO Tower. He passed by me and Kai, not giving out another word. I wasn’t in the mood to keep inquiring; I had the necessary information to stay alive for a while longer. Kris hadn’t walked 6 meters when he stopped. He turned around, just as he talked.
KS: JongIn! Catch!
From where he was standing he threw something towards us. Kai grabbed it in the air before it fell to the floor. He eyed it and then showed it to me. I knew well what they were; I used them back home.
MJ: Healing salts?!
KS: Long, Tan, and Handsome’s injuries aren’t looking good. I’m sure your other members are in the same state…
He smirked, turned around, and kept walking. This time we watched as he disappeared into the darkness of the cave tunnel.
MJ: What did he mean by that?
I turned my head towards Kai and found what Kris meant. Kai’s left shoulder, the one that had gotten an arrow stuck in one of our first battles, had its injury infected. It was obvious: open wound on the wilderness was equivalent to infection! I panicked. I knew very well the results of such things.
Besides the pain, I managed to get on my feet, grunting and partially screaming. I was slowly making my way towards my uniform blouse when my eyes caught onto something. It was my groupmates, all scattered on the ground. They were stained with blood; their bodies shirtless. Something else blew me over: LanFang was wearing a bra as well. I looked at Kai and he just shrugged. I would have to uncover the truth behind that later on. For now, curing Kai was a priority. I took my blouse, went to the water flowing into the cave and lightly scrubbed the blood out of the clothing. I squeezed the excess water and walked back to Kai. He was sitting with his knees bent towards him, just simply looking at my every move. I got next to him and sat down slowly, trying to ease the pain. Kai helped me. I picked up the canteen and drenched one of the long sleeves of the shirt; after that I pulled it apart from the rest of the clothing piece. I threw some water over Kai’s shoulder as well. I took the healing salts and took a palm full on my left hand; since my palm wasn’t still fully healed it stung a little.
MJ: Kai, this may hurt. Just be strong, okay?!
He faintly smiled and nodded. I placed the salts in his ugly injury, and saw how the young man started to moan at the sudden burn. That’s how bad the infection was. I scrubbed the salts over the area, making sure every corner was covered. I took the sleeve and placed it around his arm, making a little bow at the back.
MJ: There, all done. Wait… (I touched his forehead). FOR HEAVEN’S SAKES! YOU HAVE A FEVER! You need plenty of water and antioxidants! Wait here!
I got up and went to look at the food supply the Exotics had left for us. Everything was packet in small bags, apparently for travel convenience. There were about 10 of them. I opened them all up and found a few with berries inside. I took one and brought it back to Kai. I gave it to him so he could eat them while I looked for another water container. I found one just about half full and brought it to the younger one. I sat next to him, watching as he gulped and ate with desperation. He finished shortly afterwards. Still, he looked somewhat thoughtful.
MJ: Kai, is there somewhere else you’re injured? You need to tell me right now! It’s the only way to prevent you from getting infected.
JongIn nodded, and then pointed at a place I knew nothing about: his heart.
MJ: …what?...
He became angry. He started to move and swat his arms all over, even with the pain the injury produced him.
MJ: Kai, what’s going on? I don’t get what your sa…
He didn’t even let me finish. He began explaining and gesturing. Slowly I reviewed what he was telling me, just to make sure I understood.
MJ: Your mad at me…. Because I left you alone?... But I only disappeared for a moment. It had to be done JongIn. And I knew you weren’t going to let me; that’s why I didn’t tell you my plan to destroy EXO Tower. Still, you need to unders…
He cut me off, but this time he took me by both my wrists, shaking me from one side to the other. I was getting afraid at his sudden attitude. I had never seen him like this. Why was he doing this! My eyes got tears all on their own. Kai was still mouthing and gesturing all together. He then took me by the shoulders and shook me hard, stopping to look me straight in the eyes with an anger-filled expression.
He saw how scared I was, and how I had started to cry. His eyes softened, until I witness the unexpected: his eyes began to water too. His lower lip quivered and he tried to look the other way. But his emotional impulse was far too great to neglect. He hugged me and hid his face in the crook of my neck. He gushed air in and out, sobbing loudly. I felt his thick tears run down my shoulders. He held on tight to my back and hair, not wanting to separate from me. I finally understood what was going on. I put my hands behind his head, reassuring I was there for him. I kissed his left ear, and right there I broke into sobs as well.
Kai was actually scolding me for what I did back in EXO Tower. I shouldn’t have disappeared and let them all go up front without me. He was afraid I would have died inside. He was afraid I wouldn’t make it on time. When he heard the first explosion, he began to run towards the Tower again, ignoring the risk it posed to his life. When the building finally fell to the ground, he lost his sanity. He reached the area and began to look everywhere for me. He spent multiple hours looking for what might have been my corpse. He was injured and in pain, yet he continued. Finally, he persevered and found me underneath the broken glasses. He was afraid of losing me. He was mad because I didn’t think about what he felt. I was thinking about everyone else except him…
We kept holding onto eachother, letting both parts express our true feelings through our tears. At some point during the emotional confrontation, we both fell asleep, hugging eachother tightly to prevent the other from disappearing ever again…
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