Thursday @ 7:35am. Staring out the window, as always, I’m already at HomeRoom… but he’s not here…he’s late…again. I’m starting to get worried about LuHan; he isn’t like this, I know him better than anyone else and something’s going on. Recently he’s been coming in late to HomeRoom and other classes; he even missed a few of them this week. When I asked him where he was or what happened, he’d always answer the same: “I was making out with a girl”, then he’d laugh. You tease…YOU KNOW YOU’RE HOT… but still, I knew it was a lie so I asked him again, like a mother, and the answer was: “Sincerely, I wasn’t feeling “good”…you know”. He meant he was in the bathroom. Okay, let’s go with that then; I just rub his tummy and make a stupid derpy face trying to mock him, and we would just end up laughing our heads off… that’s the LuHan I knew…

“Park MinJeong…… Park MinJeong…. MinJeong-sshi, any day now!?!?”

Sunsaengnim was already calling my name for attendance and my mind was really far away from Earth… More like in an Exo Planet… “Mianhaeyo. Here~”

As I was saying, LuHan…LuHan is just plain perfect! I’ve known him since we were in 2^nd Grade. I still remember the first day he came into class; he had just arrived from China and didn’t   know any Korean. He was so cute and extremely shy…..AWWWW!!....Sorry, got a little carried away there. Anyways, since I was the star student of the class, sunsaengnim sat him right next to me. I was supposed to be his “substitute friend” for a while until he got use to us and started making friends of his own, plus I had to teach him common Korean words and give him a tour of the school. Fine with me, no problem at all, I was going to get bonus points for this anyways…hehe. Well, LuHan knew a little English, so that helped in our communication, but still it was a hard task. Why? Because almost everyone in our class started making fun of him because he was different…. OF COURSE HE WAS DIFFERENT!! HE WAS PERFECT, YOU SACK OF JUICELESS ORANGES!!!!... Whooops, there goes my Rage-Meter again… The thing is, I do not tolerate any kind of injustice, so I couldn’t just watch as kids came to insult and hit on Baby Lulu (that’s how I call him…he hates it…). I took matters into my hands, and I ended up without any friends, besides the fact that now everyone was teasing me too. Did it bother me? Not at all; I found that being with LuHan was all the fun and peace I needed to be happy in school. We became real friends, ending the “substitute friends” contract, and got to know eachother quite well and trusted one another with our secrets. One of these secrets was the fact that he was 2 years older than me and the rest of the class: when he changed schools, apparently there were some classes he needed, and since he didn’t know Korean, our school principal dropped him two grades….ouch… Anyways, getting back to the bullying! One day after school, the students just went all Gangster on Lulu; they pushed him and he fell face-first to the ground. A rock stabbed him on the lower lip, making him bleed as he moaned in pain. LuHan didn’t fight back; even though he was older and could have torn their elbows inside out, he was ready to just keep walking, but OHH BOY! Neither he nor any of the other boys saw THIS coming!! I threw my backpack to the ground, I closed my fists as tightly as possible and ran straight towards the little mob… Let’s make this story short, shall we? Next day’s newspaper headlines read: “2^nd grade school girl goes Jackie Chan on a group of boys”. I sent a few of them to the hospital, so maybe that’s why the newspapers came out all crazy with the news. Me and LuHan? We got expelled from school… Our parents? They hit us and gave us their speeches… Society? Kept being the it is… So I knew LuHan was still in danger, no matter what new school we would go to, so from that day on I bowed to always protect him no matter what. He was my friend…no, scratch that, he was my Best Friend…and I was his Defender…

Sissy? ? Gay? LuHan begged me so many times not to intrude in his “manliness”… We had already grown up, and he could defend himself now, but still, I felt like I had to protect him. He looked so innocent and fragile, just like an angel…just like a baby… My motherly instincts over LuHan were haywire… I just can’t imagine what I’d do if something REALLY bad happened to him…

Riiiiiiing~

The school bell rang; it was 8:00am. HomeRoom had just ended and no sign of LuHan yet. I’ll just go to the bathroom and call him before going to the first class. As I got out of the room and into the hallway, someone started to walk besides me. I knew this ritual ohh to well…

MJ: (not looking at him, with a harsh tone) Lemme guess… you were making out with someone? No, scratch that, you had “The Electrics” again! Or are you going to tell me something new like your blankets had “glue”?

LH: (he made a fake insulted face) Me?! Are you trying to deduce something!?! MinJeong, how could you! I thought you were my friend! (he smiled)

MJ: (I stopped walking and looked at him) What happened? This is getting out of hand. If you don’t tell me what’s going on, I’m gonna tell your parents that you got drunk the other day.

LH: What!? Why the hell would you do that!? Besides, they already know I got drunk…mom was cleaning vomit for 2 days… (suddenly gets remorseful from the thought)

MJ: Did you tell them that you got undressed and started dancing on a table with just boxers on!?! And that you were hitting on a girl, that was actually a guy?! May I remind you the part where you almost got a tattoo with the name of your mom in it?! DO U REMEMBER IT ALL!?!

LH: SHHHH!!! (he covered my mouth with his hand and dragged me to a less-crowded area) Why are you throwing all that nonsense at my face, I never did any of that!!

MJ: Yes you did!! I am NEVER gonna take you to a bar again. First time you drink, and you go crazier that ZiTao over Gucci! (I swat my hands in the air) Anyways, that’s not the point here. (I take Luhan’s hands and squeeze them, looking tenderly at him) I know you are hiding something from me, and I want to know what it is! It’s affecting your school life, and who knows if your personal one too. I just want to help. Remember, you can tell me anything; I will always understand and support you no matter what…unless were talking about weed, then I’ll just castrate you. But Lulu, please tell me…Please…

LH: ……. I’ll talk to you at lunch…

He let go and, without looking at my face, rushed through the hall towards his classroom. I did the same, but never did I stop thinking about LuHan’s expression. As I talked to him, his face just slumped, as if he wanted to tell me, but didn’t want to at the same time. He seemed tense, but above all, worried and sad. I don’t know what it could be but……...  If he’s going to tell me he’s gay… I…I…I’m ready for it… I may cry my heart out but I’ll accept his decision. I mean…

“You’re late Miss Park.” I facepalmed myself as I got into the already-beginning class. “Mianhaeyo sunsaengnim. It won’t happen again” I bowed and took my seat near the window, my favorite place in all the classes.

LuHan… Like I said, we’ve been friends ever since Elementary School, and upon that day nothing has separated us. Sure, we grew up and made new friends, but never did we abandon one another. Going to the same schools, having the same after-school activities, spending vacations with eachother’s families… u name it! We’ve done everything together…except bathe of course~ He was my Best Friend, we loved and respected eachother like Brother & Sister, but… I had something else in store… I loved him more than a Brother… Wait, that’s not right… How can someone love somebody “more” than what they are? So, does that mean you love a boyfriend more than a sibling? That’s just wrong. You love everyone in a unique way and quantity, indifferently of what relation they have with you. What I meant to say was, I love him as something ELSE…Yeah, now were getting somewhere. All these years with LuHan have opened me to new feelings and emotions that other friends, that happen to be boys, don’t. Maybe it’s a physical attraction: his beauty is one that could be compared to the most perfect angel in Heaven…and I’m not referring to Lucifer…. But no, I’m sure this love goes beyond the barrier of appearances. I have fallen in love with his personality, his charms, his feelings, his gestures, his manners…. Everything! We have a lot in common, so maybe I feel attached to him in this way because he understands me. Another reason could be that I’m confusing my “Motherly Love” towards him; since I protect him so much I sometimes think I’m his mom and cuddle or scold him, depending on the situation. Whatever the reason may be, I am not going to confess to LuHan. That could affect our 10-year friendship, and I was not about to throw all our hardships and happiness out the window because of my stupid emotions…Sentiments, how I loathe thee!! Anyways, it’s not like I even have a chance with him….he is WAAAAAY to popular….

“MinJeong-sshi….Do you know the answer?”

The teacher was so full of it! He intentionally asked me to answer his stupid calculus question to make me look bad in front of the class for “day-dreaming out the window”, but he was gonna get it. I looked at the board; it had a long equation with imaginary numbers and square roots and a whole bunch of exponents…PLEASE!! A  baby knew the answer! “Yes I Do, it’s 3i”. The teacher just continued the class, as he always did when I made him look like a rolling buffalo… there is nothing funnier than buffalos rolling, hehe…

Well, the day went on and finally lunch came. I was heading to the cafeteria with my half italian-half korean friend, CadMio…I sure do got a thing for foreigners to stick with me… I like it! Anyways, it was now or never! I was going to confront LuHan he liked it or not…and if it turns out that he just happens to confess he is gay, I’m gonna jump up and down with happiness and tell him “I ALWAYS WANTED A GAY FRIEND!” and hug him and tell him to have a party after school and.... There he was, waiting for me in front of the cafeteria with some of his friends… He glanced at me and I knew what it meant…