I woke up without Lizzie beside me.  The night we had together was worth everything.  I lost my “innocence” to the girl I love.

          I got out of bed and put on my shorts carefully.  The cast was annoying as hell and my leg was hurting badly, but I was dealing with it.  I went downstairs and heard voices.

          “Who are they from?”  Jihoon hyung, of course.

          “Oppa sent them.”  Her voice, the most beautiful sound in the world.

          I smiled and kept going, noticing how Lizzie looked down at her iPod when I came in.

          “Morning,” I said.

          “Morning to you, too.  Feel any better?”

          “My leg hurts like hell hyung.  What do you think?”  I felt like I needed the painkillers, but I’d take them later.

          “Well isn’t someone snippy this morning?”

          Li smiled faintly.  “Like you are one to talk about being snippy Jihoon.”  She set a plate of waffles down.

          I smiled.  “Thanks Lizzie.”  I sat down carefully.

          “Mm-hmm,” she sat beside me with her own plate.  She was awfully quiet for once, and I started to think.

          Did she regret our night together?  Was she scared she’d get pregnant?  Why was she so distant?  I knew women could be distant with their lovers, especially if they were close, but Li hardly acted like this.

          I got up to put my plate up.

          “Leave it Hoonie.  I’ll get it.”

          I smiled and kissed the top of her head before leaving the kitchen.  My Lizzie was back.  I sat on the couch and NCIS since nothing else was on.

          Lizzie came in a few minutes later with her headphones on.  She leaned her head against my shoulder.

          I wrapped my arm around her waist, softly her side.  I was perfectly happy with her beside me like she was.  I felt like she was mine and only mine.  It was a good feeling.

          “Hoon?”

          “Hmm?”

          “Just answer one thing.  Do you regret it?”

          I frowned.  “Why would I ever?”

          “Hoonie, I want you to be happy with that girl that you love so much.  Don’t waste your time on me, ok?”

          But, you are the girl…  “I can’t promise you anything, Li.”

          She hugged my neck tightly.  “I’m sorry.”

          I was shocked.  “For what?”

          “Taking your innocence.”

          I smiled, squeezing her waist.  “I feel better having it being you than some strange girl.”

          “Really?”

          “Would I lie to you?”

          “I don’t think so.  Would you?”

          I chuckled and hugged her close to me.  “No, I wouldn’t.”  I could never lie to her.  She was my best friend, after all.

          She sighed in a relieved way.

          I just let her cuddle back into me as I watched the tv, and she listened to music.

          About a week after that morning, I went through two bad days with my leg.  The pain was just terrible.  It was nothing worrisome, Dr. Moon said.  I just had to stay off of my feet as much as possible.

          “I just don’t get it.  It’s just the leg that hurts.  Why do I have to stay off both of my feet?  I feel like a ing cripple.”

          Lizzie was letting me rant.  I could tell something was different again because she snapped finally.

          “Would you just ing cool it Hoon?  …”  She huffed out and sat in the recliner, releasing the foot rest before putting her headphones on.

          I instantly hated myself.  It took a lot for Li to snap at anyone, even people she didn’t like.  I just slouched down on the couch and stayed quiet with my eyes closed.

          Arms wrapped around me a couple minutes later.  “Mianhae Hoon.”

          I hugged her.  “Don’t apologize to me.  I was the one who made you snap.”

          “I just have a lot on my mind, you know.”

          “Yeah, I know.”  I kissed her forehead.  “It’s alright.”

          “I’m going to bring the twins in here.  I’ll be right back.”

          “Ok.”

          It didn’t take long for Lizzie to come back.  She held Mimi in her arms and sat down with her in her arms.

          I saw a little hand grab onto the couch and looked over.

          “Hoo,” Jae said.

          I pulled him onto the couch and let him sit on my stomach.  “I missed you, too, buddy.”

          Jae poked my side, so I poked his.

          He giggled and poked me again.

          We kept poking each other.

          Lizzie laughed.  “Mimi, are they crazy?”

          Her baby sister just cooed.

          “I swear, Lee Lizzie, you have the happiest babies in the world living with you.”

          “Of course they are.  They live with this sweet woman.”

          I made a disgusted face at Sunjae when Joon kissed Lizzie.

          Jae giggled and snuggled onto my chest, leaning his head against my shoulder just like Lizzie did.

          I kissed his forehead.  “Do you like that man, Jae?” I whispered.

          He whimpered and hid his face in my neck.

          I smiled.  “Score one for me.”  I pulled the blanket covering me up so it’d cover Jae, too.  “I think Jae’s sleepy, Li.”

          “I think he just missed his best guy friend.”  She watched Joon playing with Mimi.

          I looked at Jae, staring into his big eyes.  “You look like her, you know that Jae?”

          He only cooed at me and put his hand on my cheek.  “Hoo.”

          I smiled.  “I love you, too, Jae.”  I took my phone out of my pocket when it rang.  “Hello?”

          “How are you feeling?”

          “Terrible.”

          “In pain or did you do something to her?”

          I pouted.  “I’m in pain, of course.  My leg is broken, hyung.”  I looked at Jae.  “I made her snap,” I murmured.

          “Is she ok now?”

          “Yeah, but I feel like an .”

          Jae grabbed for the phone.  He saw the picture of AJ hyung and giggled.  “A, Hoo.”

          AJ chuckled.  “Hi Jae.”

          I took my phone.  “Give me that you little rascal.”  I held it with my shoulder while I tickled Sunjae.  “He’s a smart kid, hyung.”

          “Yeah, I know.  He’s just like his noona.”

          “No doubt about that.”

          Jae giggled and pushed my hand away.  “No Hoo.”

          “How is everyone hyung?”

          “We’re fine.  The dorm’s a bit boring without you, but Soohyun hyung helps a little bit.”

          “I’m so sorry you guys have to deal with him without me.”

          “Are you talking to Hoon?”

          “Go away hyung.”

          I laughed.  “Pushing him away, huh?”

          “You know we can only stand so much of hyung at once.”

          “Yah!  I HEARD THAT KIM JAESEOP!”

          “Give him the phone.”

          “Hyung, Hoonmin wants to talk.”

          “Hello?”

          “Don’t be to hard on AJ hyung.  He just misses me being there with all of you guys.”

          “How are you holding up dongsaeng?”

          “My leg hurts really bad today.  I can’t get up too often.”

          Lizzie held out a bottle to me.  “And it’s gonna stay that way until the pain is gone.  Need anymore medicine?”

          I shook my head and took the bottle, holding it for Sunjae.

          “Just tell me if you do.”  She kissed my cheek.  “Hi Soohyun,” she said into the phone.  Lizzie walked away.

          “You’re so lucky dongsaeng.  Getting to stay in the house with that beautiful woman.  I’m jealous.”

          I smiled.  “Stay jealous.  I don’t plan and letting anyone steal my best friend.”

          “You’ll have to fight with Kiseop, Kevin, and Eli.  Just saying.”

          “And Mir from MBLAQ.”

          “No, you and him are allies.”

          “So only my own brothers I have to.  That’s a shame.”  I watched Jae when his eyelids started dropping.  “I gotta go hyung.  I’ll talk to you guys later.”

          “Feel better Hoon.”

          “I will, thanks.”  I put my phone back in my pocket.

          Li came over to me and tried to take Jae after he’d fallen asleep, but he whined everytime she touched him.

          “He’s ok,” I whispered.

          “I think he doesn’t want to leave you Hoonie.”  She smiled.  “I’m gonna go lay Mimi down.”

          Joon sat in the recliner while Lizzie was carrying a sleeping Mi Young up the stairs.  “She’s so great.”

          I watched Jae sleep.  “She really is.”

          “I think we’re in love.”

          I scoffed mentally, wanting to say what was on my mind.  She didn’t love Joon.  She loves Jiyong still for sure.  Lizzie never started loving Joon.  She would’ve told me if she had.  The truth of the matter is that she didn’t know what she thought of Joon.

          I kept my tongue in my mouth so I wouldn’t end up saying something stupid.  It was good because if I had said something, I would’ve easily angered Joon.  Who was I to blame though?  He was dating the woman I’ve been in love with since I met her.  I don’t know what Joon thought of her, but I saw the way he looked at her.

          Li came back.  “Well Mi Young’s sleeping peacefully.”

          “So is Jae.”  I cursed under my breath when I moved my leg.

          “Hoon?”

          “Get them.”

          She went into the kitchen and brought me the painkillers and a glass of water.

          I took the pills and sighed.  “Thanks Li.”

          She sat in front of me like I did if she wasn’t feeling well.  “Are you gonna be ok Hoonie?”

          I turned my head towards hers.  “Yeah.  Take Jae, Li.”

          He let her pick him up this time.

          Li made Joon lie her brother down so she could stay with me.  Her eyes were full of concern.

          “I hate seeing you in so much pain.  The color has drained from your face.”

          I saw the small sparkle from the tears in her eyes.  I touched her face and swiped away the tears.  “I’ll be ok.  It just hurts like hell.”

          She laid her hand against mine.  “I know baby.  I still don’t like it.”

          I smiled.  “Hey Li-Li?”

          “Hmm?”

          I took her hand and pressed my mouth into her palm.  “I love you,” I whispered.

          She smiled.  “I love you, too.  Just rest Hoon.  The medicine will kick in soon.”

          “I know it.”

          Lizzie leaned over and kissed me softly, leaning her forehead against mine.  “Just relax and sleep Hoonie.”

          With her so close to me, it was hard to sleep, but I drifted off really easily from her my hair.  Only Lizzie could get me to sleep so quickly.  I truly felt a deep love for her.  Now if only I could tell her about it…