I woke up and my stereo was still playing the songs I’d chosen for it to play on my iPod.

          “High, high, I’m so high, High, high, Up in the sky, High, high, I’m so high, Fly, fly, Touch the sky…”

          I turned the music to play U-Kiss and exhaled.

          “Hello?  Hey girl, what’s up?  I miss you baby.  I want you back here with me, you know?  By my side.  I just don’t know how to say this, but, I love you.  All the loneliness has always been a friend of mine, I’m leaving my life in your hands…”

          “Thank you god for Eli and Kevin.”  I went into the bathroom and took a bath.  I slipped down into the bubbles when the tub filled up and relaxed, listening to the music consume my hearing and letting the bubbles consume my remaining senses.

          The only thing that pulled me out of my relaxation time was my cell ringing beside the tub.

          “Bounce to the music, let your feet go round, to the floor and I’ma break it down.  Let me in, let me show you all my bling, bling, and all my kicks, kicks, baby dance with me…”

          I dried my hand and answered it.  “Hi Gran.”

          “You want to watch your brother and sister today?”

          I smiled.  “I’d love to.”

          “Can I come drop them by now?”

          “Sure.”

          “Ok.  See you soon darling.”

          “Bye Grandmother.”  I set my phone and got out of the tub.  I got dressed and dried my hair before going downstairs with my phone in my hand.  I set it on the coffee table and sat down to wait for the twins.

          The knock on the door made me jump up.  I went to it and opened it.  I smiled and took my little brother from the twin stroller.  “Hey Jae, did you miss me?”

          He cooed and patted my face.

          I smiled and kissed his forehead.  “Hi Gran.”  I kissed her cheek after she pushed the stroller in with Mi Young in it.

          “Hi darling girl.  How are you doing?”

          “I’m good, but I’ve missed these two.”

          “I think they missed you, too.  It’s hectic to get them to sleep.”

          I kissed Sunjae’s forehead.  “Were you being a stubborn boy, Jae?”

          “They both were, but Grandad and I don’t mind it.”

          I waved goodbye to Gran and took Jae into the living room.  I set him in the twins’ playpen and went back to pick up Mimi.  “Hi baby girl.”

          She smiled and cuddled into my arms.

          I walked into the kitchen and made a bottle for my baby sister.  I took it into the living room with me and fed Mi Young.  “Noona missed you and Jae, Mimi.”

          Jae held up a green dinosaur stuffed animal and cooed questionably.

          I looked over at him while I held Mimi.  “What is it Jae?”

          He waved the toy.

          “That’s yours Jae.”

          He started to play with it.

          I left him to play while I walked into the nursery to let Mimi sleep.  I went back to the living room and smiled when I saw Jae playing happily.

          The front door opened and closed.

          “Honey, I’m home.”

          I laughed and turned when I saw Hoon come in.  “Hi honey.”

          He turned happier.  “Hey, you got Jae.”

          Jae looked up and started to babble excitedly, whining for Hoon to pick him up.

          Hoon went to the playpen and lifted Jae up.  “Hey little buddy, I missed you, too.”  He kissed Sunjae’s forehead.

          “Mimi’s here, too, but she’s asleep upstairs.  I guess my grandparents had somewhere to go so they couldn’t watch the twins today.”

          “Good for us.  We can play with the babies.”  He blew against Jae’s chubby little baby face, causing him to laugh.

          I smiled.  “I haven’t heard that cute laugh in forever.”  I kissed my baby brother’s forehead.  “Noona missed you, Jae.”

          He put his hand out, his fingers splayed out.

          I put my hand up to his.  “My hand is still bigger, Sunshine.”

          He pouted and put his hand out towards Hoon.

          Hoon did the same thing.  “My hand’s bigger than Noona’s.  See Jae?”  Hoon put his hand to mine.

          My baby brother pouted again.

          Hoon chuckled.  “He has your pout Lizzie.”

          I smiled.  “He really does.”

          Jae started patting Hoon’s face.

          “What is it Jae?”

          The baby pointed upstairs.

          “I’ll take him up there.  Be right back.”

          I sat down on the couch and Doll Master.  I went into the kitchen and made popcorn, then brought it into the living room.  I set down the big bowl of popcorn and went back to get drinks.  I set them on the coffee table after I moved my phone.

          “Movie day for us?”

          I smiled.  “While the babies are asleep at least.”

          “Should I go get the air mattress?”

          I nodded.

          Hoon went to get the inflatable air mattress and aired it up.

          I put pillows and a spare comforter down, then set the drinks and popcorn in the middle of where Hoon and I always laid down.  I laid back and waited for him to come into the living room.  “Did you get the baby monitor?”

          He unhooked it from his jeans and put it on the coffee table right behind us.  Hoon laid back beside me.  “Start the movie Lizzie-ah.”

          I moved the popcorn bowl so I could be near him.  “You know the movie freaks me out at certain parts.”

          He smiled and wrapped his arms around me.  “It’s ok, Li.  I’ll protect you.”

          We ate popcorn and watched Doll Master.  It freaked me out a couple of times, but Hoon tightened his arms when I’d flinch or hide my face.

          “This is gonna give me nightmares for a week now…”

          “Should I stay with you then?”

          I shrugged.  “Maybe.”

          “If I don’t, you can call me and wake me up, ok?”

          I hugged him.  “How do I deserve a best friend like you?”

          “Just don’t abandon me like Hae Mi does to Mina.”

          “Why would I?  I would never abandon Mina, so I definitely won’t abandon you.”  I sat up and picked up my phone when it started vibrating on the table.

          I want to see you soon.  Can I?  I mean, you gave me your number, that tells me things. – Ji

          I guess so.  Today, I have my little brother and sister with me.  When they wake up, I’ll probably take them to the park.  Want to meet up there?

          I got up when I heard one of the twins wake up.  I went upstairs and looked in the nursery.  “Mimi,” I shushed her as I picked her up.  “Are you not sleepy anymore?”

          She whined.

          I changed her and carried her downstairs.  “Look who’s awake, Hoonie.”

          He smiled.  “It’s my girl.”  He took her into his arms.  “Did you miss me, Mi Youngie?”

          I took her when she started fussing in Hoon’s arms.  “Go get Jae for me, please.  Oh, and grab the baby bag.  We’re taking the kids to the park.”  I held Mimi on my hip and called Ji.

          “Hey there.”

          “I’ll be leaving in a few minutes.  Start heading towards the park.  Bring my brother if he’s not busy at a schedule.”

          “We’ll be there.  See you soon.”

          I put my phone in my pocket and slowly swayed back and forth with my baby sister.  I set Mimi in the playpen after Hoon came back with the bag.  “I got this.  Can you put them in the car outside and put the stroller in the back for me?”

          “I will.”

          I went into the kitchen and made a couple bottles each for the twins.  I checked that everything was in the bag and went outside after locking the house up.  I put the bag in behind the passenger seat and smiled when Jae and Mimi started babbling happily.  I got in the driver’s side and started my car.

          “Eli and Kevin wanted to come with me.”

          “Why didn’t you let them?”  I my music while I waited to turn out of the drive.

          “Because then you and I wouldn’t get to spend so much time together.”

          I giggled and turned.  “Are you jealous, Hoonie?”

          “No, I just don’t like not being able to have alone time with my best friend.”

          “Mm-hmm…”  I turned up the music and laughed when the babies were babbling to each other.  “Think they’re trying to sing like you, Hoonie?”

          “Maybe so,” he laughed, too.  He changed it to A Shared Dream.

          “Hoonie,” I whined.  “I love Forbidden Love.”

          “I’m in this one more.”

          I stuck my tongue out at him while I pulled into a parking space.  “You’re so annoying.”  I got out and took the stroller from the back.  I set it down and put the bag in the back of it.

          Hoon got Sunjae out of his carseat while I got Mi Young.

          I put the hood down over the babies and locked the car.  “You want to push it?”

          “I got it.”

          I took my phone and called Ji.  “Are you here?”

          “We’re here.”

          “Where are you at?”

          “By our tree.”

          “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”  I put my phone in my hoodie pocket.

          “Who’s here?”

          I walked beside Hoon as he pushed the twins.  “We’re meeting my brother and Ji here.”  I saw Ji and Oppa leaning against the tree.  “They look like they’re up to no good.”

          Ji smiled when we got to the tree.  “Five two four.”  It was a code that Ji and I always used when we’d meet at the tree.  It meant, “Honey, I’m here.”

          I smiled back.  “You still remember.”  I looked at my older brother, smirking at his confused face.  “Don’t think too hard on it, Oppa.”

          He squatted in front of the stroller.  “Well haven’t you two gotten big?  Hey Mi Youngie, you remember Oppa?”

          She reached out to touch his face.

          I took the blanket I always carried in the car and spread it out on the grass.  I took Sunjae out and set him on it.

          Hoon went to Jae and got down with him, making funny faces at him.

          I smiled and shook my head.  “Silly guy.”

          Seungri, my strange older brother, stood up and lifted Mi Young out.  He sat down on the blanket with her.

          I put the stroller to the side and sat on the blanket beside Jiyong.  “He always had a thing with us girls.”

          “Jae doesn’t like him or something?”

          “It’s not that.  He’s just a little bit shy in front of Oppa.  He doesn’t remember him that well.  Jae-ah, come to Noona.”

          Sunjae went away from Hoon and sat on his bottom, putting his arms up.

          I lifted him into my lap, his back leaning against my belly.

          Hoon laid on his stomach in front of me so he could continue playing with Jae.

          “The funny thing is,” I said to Ji, “Hoon doesn’t think about anything except Jae when he plays with him.  He will be a good father someday.”

          “Would I be?”

          I smiled at Jiyong.  “You’d be great.”  I kissed his cheek.

          “You want to take a walk?”

          “Sure.”  I looked down at Hoon.  “Hoonmin-ah.”

          “Hmm?”

          “Take my brother.  You’re in charge.  Jiyong and I are going to take a short walk.”

          He stole Sunjae from my lap and set him down on the blanket.  Hoon pulled Jae’s shirt up and blew on his little belly.

          I the microphone that was on the stroller and opened the app from my phone so I could hear what was going on while Ji and I were walking.  I started walking with Ji, happy that I was hearing Jae and Mimi giggling and babbling.

          “Hey Hoon?”

          “Huh?”

          “What’s with my sister and Jiyong hyung?”

          “What do you mean?”

          “What’s the thing between them?”

          “Nothing.”

          I smiled.  “My best friend would never tell Oppa.”

          Jiyong pulled my arm through his so they’d be linked.  “How does he not know that we dated before?”

          “He was one of the few who didn’t, Ji.”

          “Really?”

          “Yep.  I never told him.  My parents wouldn’t even tell him.  Of course, Jae and Mimi don’t know seeing as they weren’t born yet.”

          “Do you ever think of giving your grandparents custody?”

          “Sometimes, I do.  But I don’t think I could stand it.  I’ve taken care of the twins since they were practically born.”

          “Watch, when they get a little older, you’re the one they’ll be calling ‘Eomma’ and watching as a role model.”

          “Jae already calls me ‘Noona.’  Mimi hasn’t spoken her first word yet.”  I my lips.  “I’m not surprised though.  I’ll let her take her time.”

          Ji smiled.  “I know you’re going to be a great mother when the time comes.”

          I smiled back.  “Thanks Jiyongie.”

          He frowned and sighed.  “Why did you do it?”

          “Ji, you were busy.  We were hardly seeing each other.  I couldn’t stand it.”

          He took my face in his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes.  “Do you remember that last night we spent together?”

          “I could never forget it.”

          “I was broken that you were gone when I woke up.  Do you know how bad it was?  To wake up and worry where the one you love the most is gone?”

          I teared up.  “I know how it is to wake up and know that people I held close to my heart will never come back.”

          “Li-Li,” he said softly, “I will never fall out of love with you.  I thought last night that you were some other person, but I recognized you.  Do you know what happened when I realized that the girl I’ve never gotten over was standing right in front of me?”

          I only shook my head.

          He released my face and took my hand.  Ji spread my hand out flat and pressed it to his heart.  “This is what happened,” he whispered.

          I felt his heart beating fast, just like mine was.  I slowly took my hand away and started to walk away from Ji.  It was happening again.  I’d only end up hurting him for a second time.

          “Li,” he took my wrist.  “What did you mean you could never forget?”

          I sighed.  “How do you always catch the hidden meaning in my words?”

          He pulled me to the swings we used to play on when we were kids.  Ji made me sit down, and he sat beside me, turning so he faced my side.  “Li, did something happen after that night?”

          I only nodded.

          “Is it what I think happened?”

          I stared down at the sand, shrugging.

          Jiyong grabbed the chain and pulled my swing towards him, holding it with his.  “Tell me.”

          I looked up and saw my brothers, sister, and best friend from where I was sitting.  “Not here…”  I took my phone out and called Hoon’s phone, watching him.

          He looked at his phone and answered it.  “Where are you?”

          “Can you take the twins home, please?”

          “Sure.  Do I need to wait?”

          “No, but take Seung-hyun with you.  I have to talk to Jiyong.”

          “Good luck baby girl,” he said.

          I smiled sadly.  “I’ll be home soon, Hoonie.”

          “Mimi and Jae are in good hands.  I don’t know about your brother’s though.”

          I giggled a little.  “I’ll see you when I get home.”  I put my phone up and watched Hoon, Seung-hyun, and the twins leave.  “Come on.  We gotta go somewhere.”

          We walked to Ji’s car, and I told him where to go.  We went to the house I lived in when I came back from America.  It’d been fixed up after my parents’ deaths.  No one lived in it, because it was legally my house.

          I sighed and got out of Ji’s car, walking to the tire swing that was still there.  I could still remember the day Appa put it up.  I went up to the house and touched the railing that stuck out from where the steps were.  My memories were strong.

          “Li are you ok?”

          “They’re gone, Ji.  They’ll never come back.  I have all my memories, but I don’t have them.”  I opened the door with the key I had in my purse and sighed as I stepped in.

          Nothing had changed in the front.  The only room that was different was the master bedroom.  I didn’t want to go up there.  I looked at the spotless living room.  “Ji, let’s go to my room.”  I led him upstairs to my room.  Luckily, I didn’t have to pass Eomma and Appa’s room to get there.  I opened the door and stepped in.

          My room was exactly as it was when I last was there.  The whole house was perfectly spotless, courtesy of the weekly cleaning lady who cleaned the whole house.  I sat on my bed and saw a picture on my nightstand.  I set the frame face down.

          Ji came in and sat beside me.  “Tell me now.”

          I sighed.  “I’ll just start from the beginning, even though you know it already.”