I held onto Lizzie.  “Never leave me ever again.  Promise me.”

          “Ji, I don’t know if I can do that.”  She stood up and left the cemetery, leaning against my car.

          I went over to her, cupping her face in my hands.  “Li, don’t leave.  Please,” I begged her.  All I wanted was my love back.

          She looked down.  “Ji, we can’t.  Our relationship is over.  It’s dust in the wind.”

          I pulled her chin up.  “I’m the dust, and you’re the breeze.  I can’t drift through the air without you.”  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I kissed her lips.  At first, I thought she was trying to push me away because she placed her hands on my chest.  But, then her arms went around me, and Lizzie pulled me closer.

          I leaned my forehead against hers when I needed to take a breath.  I held her face in my hands, brushing her tears away with my thumbs.  “You know how I feel about you.”

          “I know,” she whispered.

          “Do you feel the same?”

          Li bit her lip.  “I’ve never stopped Ji.”

          I pressed my lips to hers softly.  “Then what’s the problem baby?”

          She looked up into my eyes.  “Ji, Joon is my boyfriend.  I can’t just break up with him so I can get back with you.  That would make me feel bad.”

          “Can we at least be friends?”

          “On one condition,” she looked up at me.

          “What is it?”

          “Stay at my house with me tonight.  The twins aren’t staying the whole day, and I hate being alone.”

          “Ok, I’ll stay.”

          She smiled.  “Thanks.”

          I hugged her tightly.  “I’d rather you be mine, but I wouldn’t force you.”

          “You know I would say yes if I didn’t have a boyfriend.  Or if I was unhappy in my relationship.”

          “I know it baby.”  I opened the door for her.  “We should probably get going.”

          She nodded and got into the car, holding the box on her lap.

          “What a life to wake up in love, Anytime I can’t get enough of your kindness, sweetness, I don’t want it ever to end.  So amazing, all the above, Anyway, you take it, It’s your love.  You the finest and I just…”

          I got my phone and answered it.  “Hello?”  I shut my door and drove towards where the park was.

          “Where are you at with my sister?”

          “Somewhere.  We’ll be there soon.”

          “Hey, tell her that our grandmother called and said she’s gonna pick up the twins around six.”

          “I will.”

          “Thanks hyung.”

          I put my phone down.  “Your brother said that your grandmother is going to pick up your brother and sister around six.”

          She pouted.  “That’s too early.”

          I pinched her cheek.  “You’ll never lose your cuteness.”

          “Ji!  You know I hate when you pinch my cheek.”  She rubbed it.

          I chuckled.  “You know I can’t resist it.”

          “I feel like a little girl again.  Hey, turn here.”

          I turned where she told me to and parked in front of a two story house.  “You live here?”

          “Yep.”  She got out with her box in her hands and went up the steps, walking in.

          I followed her.

          “Hi Hoonie!”  She set the box down and hugged her best friend, kissing his cheek.

          “Hi baby.  You seem rather…cheerful.”

          “Well fine then if you’re not gonna be happy to see me back home.  I’ll just get Jae.”  She went over to a playpen and picked up her baby brother, immediately earning coos and babbles from him.  “See?  Jae missed his Noona.”

          I went over to Lizzie.  “He looks like you when you were a baby.”

          She smiled.  “Everyone says that.”

          Another coo came from the playpen.

          I looked down to see Lizzie’s baby sister.  She was cute.

          “Can I pick her up?”

          “Sure Ji.”

          I leaned down and picked up the baby.  “You look exactly like your Eomma.”  I looked at Lizzie.  “What’s her name?”

          “Mi Young,” the maknae appeared out of nowhere.

          Lizzie looked at Sunjae.  “Jae, who is that?”

          He looked over at Seungri, who walked to stand beside me and Lizzie.  Jae whined and hid into Lizzie.

          “Aw, what’s wrong with my Sunshine?”  She sat down in the recliner, holding Jae in her lap.  “Jae, look at Lizzie”

          I smiled when he looked at her and giggled.

          Lizzie was great with kids.  I can imagine her if she would’ve had Mason.  She’d be playing with him like she was with her baby brother.

          I let Mi Young go to Seungri and sat beside Hoon on the couch.  We all watched Tarzan since the babies were in the room.

          Mi Young had wanted to sit in my lap while the movie played, and I let her.  She reminded me of Lizzie when I used to babysit her.

          When her grandmother came to pick the twins up, Hoon and Seungri were gone already.  The twins left with Lizzie’s grandmother, and we were left alone.

          “Eonjana neowana, Loving you forever, I pray for you…”

          Lizzie picked up her phone.  “Hello?”

          The smile on her face reminded me of the smiles she used to give me.  I sat down on the couch again and scrolled through the pictures on my phone.  There were so many of me with Big Bang and T.O.P. hyung.  But, I went into the only other album in my photos and saw pictures of Lizzie and I.  I hadn’t had a permanent relationship with anyone since her.  I’d gone on dates, but it wasn’t the same.  The girls were nice and all, but none of them were her.  She was the only one for me.

          Lizzie sat in the recliner and set her phone down.  “Joon’s coming over.”  She sighed.

          “Shouldn’t you be happy?”

          She pouted.  “I should be.  I bet he’s wondering why I was so distant with him last night.”

          “It’s not like you didn’t have a good reason to be.”

          “No comment on that.”  She got up and went over to her movies, putting one in the dvd player.  “Sorry that this doesn’t have Korean subtitles.  My cousin in America burned this on a dvd for me.”

          “It’s not a problem.  I’m fluent in English.”

          “Oh really now?”

          “Yes, really.”

          She giggled.  “You don’t even have an accent Ji.  Oppa does, though.  Especially when he sings,” Lizzie laughed.

          The door shut at the front of the house.  “Baby?”

          “There’s no one here!  I don’t know you!”  She smiled when her boyfriend came in and glared at her.  “What?”

          “Are you speaking English just to annoy me?”

          “Nope.  It’s because I can.”  Lizzie grinned and paused the movie.  “Ji, you want popcorn?”

          “Sure.  That sounds great.”  It was actually pretty funny seeing Joon get annoyed.  He wasn’t the greatest with speaking English, even though he had a role in an American movie back in 2009.

          “Joon, go away.  Go back in the living room!  Aah!  Stop it!”  I heard her laughs from where I was.

          “You , quit!”

          I “innocently” played with app on my phone.

          Joon came in grinning and sat on the recliner where Lizzie was.

          She came in and set a big bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.  “I’m not talking to you, Lee Changsun.”

          “What’d I do baby?”

          She stuck her tongue out at him and sat beside me, playing the movie.  She wrapped her arms around me, snuggling close.

          I wrapped my arms around her waist.  “Are you trying to get me killed?”

          “He would never.”  She smiled at me.  “I’d never let him hurt my Jiyongie.”

          “You’re cheating on me already!”

          She looked at her boyfriend.  “How is this cheating if I’m just hugging my friend?”

          “Because I said so.”

          “If this is cheating, then I have cheated on you a lot.  You know how much I hug my best friend.”

          “Baby, come over here.  Please?”

          “You can come over here because I’m not leaving Jiyong by himself.”

          “Aww, my sweet baby,” I nuzzled the top of her head.

          “You’re so embarrassing Ji.”

          “I love you, too.”

          She sat up when Joon moved to the other side of her and held his hand.  She held my right hand with hers.

          I smiled and squeezed her hand lightly.  I was glad she still wore the promise ring I got her.  I never took mine off.  I remember that even when we’d broken up, I still would see her wearing it.

          Lizzie laid her head on my shoulder, and she fell asleep.

          I stood up and picked her up since the movie was over.  I carried Li upstairs and put her in her bed, tucking her under the covers.  I moved the hair from her forehead.  “Just rest Li.  I know today hasn’t been easy on your heart.”

          “No ,” she murmured.

          I leaned down and kissed her forehead.  “Li, go back to sleep.”

          “Ji?”

          “Yeah?”

          “Don’t leave me.”

          I sighed and laid down beside her.  I softly ran my hand over her belly under the blankets.  “Just relax baby girl.”

          She settled into her pillow.  “Mm, Ji, I love you.”

          I kissed her cheek.  “I love you, too, sweetheart.”

          Li fell asleep finally.

          I got up and shut her door behind me, going back downstairs.  “She’s passed out.”

          Joon stood up.  “I have to go for a schedule.  When she wakes up, tell her I’ll come see her tomorrow.”

          “Ok.”

          “Nice meeting you.”

          “You, too.”  I went back upstairs after Lizzie’s boyfriend left.  I laid back down beside her and put my arm over her.  I leaned my head against her shoulder and closed my eyes.  I fell asleep in my spot.

          I woke up, laying under the covers of Lizzie’s bed.  I sat up.  Lizzie wasn’t there.  I got up and went downstairs, finding her cooking in the kitchen.

          “I hear you Ji.”

          I hugged her from behind.  “How long have you been awake?”

          “Long enough to make pizza dough and homemade sauce for it.”

          “Can I help?”

          “Maybe.”  She moved me out of the way and got a bowel with a cloth over it from the fridge.  “There was so many perks to living in America for almost ten years of my life.”

          “Food?”

          “Of course.  You know, I always wanted to be a cook.”

          I smiled and leaned against the counter out of her way.  “I know.  I remember you talking about it.”

          She smiled and started to roll out the pizza dough.  “What do you want on this, Ji?”

          “Make it how you like.”  I watched as she worked.

          “Did Joon say anything before he left?”  She slid the pizza into the oven and set the timer.

          “He said he had to go to a schedule, but that he’ll come see you tomorrow.”

          “He had a schedule?  Liar.  He told me he was free this full week.”  She started washing dishes.

          I got a clean towel and started drying the dishes she’d washed.

          “Ji, you don’t have to do that.”

          “I want to help.”

          Li smiled.  “Thanks.”  She hummed a song while she washed.

          “Why didn’t you ever want to be a singer?  You have an amazing voice.”

          Lizzie frowned.  “I did at one point.  It would take too much out of my life, though.  I have Sunjae and Mi Young to think about.”

          “You know agencies will put that into consideration, Li.”

          She started to tremble and dropped the glass she was washing.

          I took it from her hands, wiping the water off.  I pulled Lizzie into my arms.  I felt as she started shaking, finally bursting into tears.

          “It took you and my brother from me.  I couldn’t do that to the twins.”

          I held her against me, letting her get out everything.  “Shh, it’s ok.  I’m here now.”

          She sniffled.  “Why are you here Ji?  What are we doing?”

          I her hair.  “Calm down Li.  You’ll make yourself sick.”

          Li sighed and closed her eyes as she leaned against me.  “I’ve done it enough Ji.  I know what happens.”

          I took her into the living room and made her sit down.  “You alright?”

          She nodded.  “It’s just tough right now.  You know.”

          I held her hand.

          She squeezed my hand.  “I missed you, Ji.”

          “I missed you, too.”

          Lizzie looked down.  “I still have every single one of our pictures.”

          “You do?”

          “Remember me telling you about how Hoon put everything that reminded me of you away?”

          “Yeah.”

          “You didn’t look too closely in my bedroom.”

          “It was hard to with you sleeping.”

          She smiled and stood up.  “We still have a good ten minutes before the oven goes off.  I want to show you something I finished at two AM today.”  Lizzie took my hand and pulled me upstairs, going to the hall past her bedroom.  She opened a door and pulled me in.

          It was like a little art studio.  It was good to know she was still painting and drawing.

          Lizzie stopped in front of her easel.  “Look.”

          I looked at the painting.  “Whoa,” it was a painting of me.

          “I got home, and I came in here.  I sat at my desk and found a sketch of you I’d done a couple weeks ago.  I saw a picture of you somewhere and started thinking about the past.”  She picked up a sketchbook.

          I looked at the page she flipped to.  It amazed me to see how she captured me in her painting, let alone her sketch of me.  “Wow Li.”

          She blushed a little and set the sketchbook down.  “I think it’s one of my best sketches.  It’s one of few I’ve gotten perfect.”

          I smiled.  “It’s amazing.”

          She smiled.  “Thanks Ji.”  Lizzie cleared .  “Are you happy to see I still do this?”

          “You mean painting and drawing?  Yes, I’m glad you do.  You always do so well.”

          “I want to show you something later, but dinner’s almost done.”

          I followed her back downstairs.

          Lizzie got a bottle of Soju from the fridge.

          “You’re not legal.”

          She grinned and got two glasses down.  “You gonna stop me?”

          “You’re stubborn.  It’s a lost cause to stop you.  How long has this been going on?”

          “What?  My very occasional drinking?”  She poured the glasses full and set them on the island in the middle of the kitchen.  “I had my first drink with my parents when I turned eighteen.  Since then, I’ve had three glasses of white wine, one glass of red, and one full glass of Soju.  Anything else you want to ask about my life?”

          “Do you still play the piano?”

          “Yeah.”

          “The guitar?”

          “The viola and the sax,” she said, taking the pizza out of the oven.  “Next.”

          “Your favorite color is still,” I started.

          “Purple as always, Ji.”

          “You know how I knew for sure?”

          “My bedroom is decked out in purple, black, and green objects.”

          “You still gamble?”

          “With U-Kiss and my cousin and I’ve yet to lose to any of them.”

          I took the alcohol and drank.  “How long have you had this house?”

          “Nineteenth birthday,” she put her hair up.  “I still hate wearing contacts, but I do it when I have to or just don’t want to wear my glasses.”  Lizzie went to her iPod and hooked it up to a speaker on the counter, turning music on.  “I listen to Big Bang still, but I also listen to MBLAQ, 2AM, 2PM, 4 Minute, 2NE1, SHINee, Super Junior, Teen Top, and U-Kiss.  I’m in love with Infinite’s song Paradise lately.”

          “Does my mother still call you?”

          “Every birthday at 5:08 in the morning and then again at 10:04 in the evening.”

          I smiled.  “I would, but I didn’t manage to have your number until yesterday.”

          “You ever get any surprise birthday cards?”

          “Every year.”

          “You’re welcome.”

          My eyes widened.  “It was you?”

          “I told you Ji, I’d never forget your birthday.  Tell me, have I ever forgotten one?”

          “Never.”  I watched her cut the pizza.  “You changed your writing style.”

          “I didn’t.  I just wrote carefully so you’d never know.”

          “You confuse me.”

          Lizzie smiled.  “It’s important to remember dates like that.  Every year on our anniversary, I always light my cinnamon candles.  The house smells amazing.  I lay in my bed, and I watch movies with Jasper.”

          “You still have Jasper?”

          “Why would I get rid of him?”

          “I just figured the memories would be painful.”  I traced the rim of the glass with my pinky.

          Lizzie set two plates down on the table.  “Pain is one thing I can deal with easily.”

          “I hope not in the destructive way.”  I sat down and set her glass in front of her spot on the table.

          “Depends is painting is destructive or not.  I guess the way I do it could be.  My stereo system up almost all the way with Big Bang songs blaring.”

          I shook my head as I chewed my food.  “You’re insane woman.”

          Lizzie’s eyes sparkled for once.  I recognized the look.  She had pure rebellion in her eyes.  I knew she was full of fire.  One spark and she lit up.

          “You still love me.”

          “I’d never deny that.  You love me back, though.”

          “I could never lie about that.  Anyone could figure out by how I look at you.  Everytime I watch tv and something about Big Bang or you and T.O.P. comes on.”  She grinned and shook her head.  “Let’s not go there.  I would end up doing something stupid or regretful.”

          “Answer me this, are you high?”

          “Not medically.”  She slanted a glance at her untouched drink.  “Or illegally.”

          “You’re a wild one, Lee Lizzie.”

          “I thought you knew that Jiyong.”

          I smiled.  “It wasn’t hard to see through that distant shell of yours when we first met.  Getting you warmed up to me is all it took for me to see your colors.  They remind me of your paintings.”

          “You’re the only one I show this side to, Ji.  I never know why it comes out.  Maybe you’re the potion that brings out my Mr. Hyde side.”

          “Maybe so.”

          We finished the food and went up to her room.  The alcohol had no effect on either of us.  We laid in her bed and stared at the ceiling, talking like we used to.  For once, things were ok between us.  Even though we were in love, I was respectful since she was Joon’s girlfriend.  I knew he’d screw up eventually.  It was only a matter of time.  Lizzie and I were destined.