After my meeting with Jiyeon last night, I've been trying to contact Taemin.

I called his phone, but he didn't pick up....
I texted him a couple of times, he didn't reply....
I even went to his dance studio after work with Sunggyu, but his friend told us he left early....
Where can he be? Why is he avoiding us? Why is he avoiding me?

"Yah, Lee Taemin, where have you gone? Everyone's worried about you. I'm worried about you.
 Call me once you get this text okay? We all miss you, especially me."
I left a voice message since he didn't pick after a dozen times of calling him. The reason I'm doing all this isn't because Jiyeon needed my help, but because I really do miss him, I miss his hair, his angelic smile, his gaze, his clear skin. Most of all, I miss my best friend. Something must be wrong. Even if he's busy with dance practice, he never fails to reply to my text messages, or even drop by the house once in a while to see Eun Jung. Something must definitely be wrong. I was too deep in thoughts that I forgot that I was still standing in front of the studio with Sunggyu, until he waved his hands in front of my face.

"Jagiya, gwaenchanhnya?" He looks worried. I'm really thankful that he's willing to follow me all the way out here to Taemin's studio eventhough he's not that close to Taemin. I told him that he didn't need to follow me since it was late but he insisted on following me. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just worried." Sunggyu reached out to my hands and gave them a reassuring squeeze. I looked at him in the eyes, and again, they appear, his eye smile. It always makes me feel better. Whenever I'm down or just not in the mood, he can sense it. And then he'll just hold my hands and we'll both be staring at each other, not saying anything. Looking at him always makes me feel calm. Like I know everything's gonna be alright, and I trust him, a lot.I smile back at him with teary eyes.

"There you go. Our Min Jung looks more pretty when she smiles." He said as he wiped away a tear that rolled down my cheek. He then pulled me into a tight and warm embrace. Everything feels better again. I looked up facing him and we kissed for a long time. But there wasn't any tongue or any rush, it was one of those kisses that makes me feel complete....just our lips touching and nothing else.

We broke off and rested my head on his shoulders. "You're gonna find him. Just be patient." And with that, he sent me home.

The next day was an off-day so Sunggyu and I met up and continued our search for Taemin.
First stop, the dance studio. Since it was still daytime, he should still be there. And I'm certain that he is. When we arrived, the same friend told us that he wasn't in the studio. That's weird...he never misses any dance practices. Maybe he's sick? 
I left my number with the friend and told him to contact me if he's seen Taemin. "Oppa, let's go to his house next." 

Taemin's mother answered the door. She kind of panicked when she saw me though. I wonder why....
Nevertheless, both Sunggyu and I bowed and greeted her.
"Annyeonghaseyo eomeonim, is Taemin inside?" 
"O-oh, uh..Taemin-ie w-went to dance p-practice.." What's this? Taemin's mother is hesitating? Is she hiding something? And dance practice? 
"But we just went to the studio and his friend told us he didn't go for practice." Sunggyu said when he saw the confused look on my face.
"U-uh, I don't know! He's n-not at home! Sorry!" And with that, his mother just shuts the door leaving us outside. Something is definitely wrong..

Suddenly Sunggyu took my phone from my bag and started dialing something.
"Oppa, what are yo-"
And suddenly, I heard a familiar sound. Coming from Taemin's house...It was his ringtone! So this means he is at home and his mother lied to us.
But why? Why doesn't he want to meet us? And suddenly I got angry and started yelling.

"YAH! LEE TAEMIN! COME OUT NOW! YAH! LEE TAEMIN, YOU BETTER COME OUT OR OUR FRIENDSHIP IS OVER!"
Sunggyu just stood beside me and kept laughing. And right before I was about to scream some more, the front door opened and guess who I saw....
Lee Taemin. "Arrasso, just don't shout anymore and come in." I looked at Sunggyu and he gave me a thumbs up. The both of us then entered the house following Taemin. And when we entered, we saw his Mother who looked a bit guilty for lying to us. Instead we just smiled at her and greeted her again. The three of us went into Taemin's room and he shut the door. Taemin then went straight to his bed and lied down, his back facing me and Sunggyu. Sunggyu and I awkwardly looked at each other and just sat on the floor next to Taemin's bed.

"Yah, Lee Taemin, why are you ignoring my calls and text messages? Do you know how worried I am? I went all over loo-"
"Sunggyu hyung, I need to talk to Min Jung." I was startled. Taemin was still lying down on his bed when he said that. Then I looked at Sunggyu. He also had a confused look on his face. "Taemin ah, what are yo-"
"Hyung, please!" This time he really sounded serious. Sunggyu touched my knees and told me it was okay and he'll just wait outside. He kissed me on my forehead and went out.

Right after Sunggyu closed the door,
"Yah, what's your problem? Why can't he be here? He helped me searched for you all over town and if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have found you!"
Now I really started to get angry. I was practically standing up while talking.

At that moment, Taemin got up and sat on his bed. And he was crying...

"Y-yah, T-taemin ah, why are y-you crying? I'm not that angry you know..." I told him and went to sit beside him on his bed. Suddenly he just pulled me into a tight hug and started crying even more. I was puzzled about why he was crying so I just hugged him back and made hush sounds like how I did every time Eun Jung cries. "T-there there, let it all out and tell me what's happened." I whispered to him.

After about five minutes or so he finally stopped crying and the whole left side of my shirt was wet with his tears. "Sorry about your shirt, I'll get you a new one." He said but he was looking at the ground. " Look, don't care about the shirt. Where have you been all this while? Why are you ignoring me?" He didn't answer me and was still looking at the ground. I cupped my face around his face and turned him to face me. He looked horrible. Like he was crying for weeks. His eyes were swollen and his skin has gotten bad too. "Taemin ah, what's bothering you? Can't you tell me? I'm your best friend remember?" 

 

"But I don't want us to be best friends." 
That wasn't called for. He did not just mean that did he? My hands dropped from his face and my eyes were looking at him, searching for signs to tell me he was joking. "W-why?" And at that moment, Taemin leaned in and kissed me.

Somehow, my hands won't move. I couldn't stop him. I couldn't push him away. Because it was nice...but at the same time, it felt like a sad kind of kiss. My eyes were still open though..and I could see him. His eyes were closed and tears were rolling down his cheeks. Why is he crying? I can feel his soft lips trembling on mine. And I could tell that he was trying very hard not to sob. Why does he look so sad when he kisses me? That's when it crossed my mind...I'm with Sunggyu now. I snapped back to my senses and pushed Taemin away and stood up from his bed. At the same time, I wiped my lips. Not because I was disgusted, but I felt guilty. I'm someone who has a boyfriend who was waiting for me right outside of this room, and here I am, kissing my best friend...

"Taemin ah, w-what are you t-trying to do?" I was shocked to hear myself trembling. I was starting to step away from Taemin and was slowly heading towards the door. "Min Jung ah, I don't want us to be bestfriends anymore." Taemin said, and this time, he too stood up from his bed and started walking slowly towards me. At that moment my hand was already behind my back grabbing the door knob. "I get that you don't want us to be friends anymore, but why did you kiss me?" This time, I was already crying. 

"Don't you get it Min Jung ah, I'm in love with you."

My eyes were widened with shock and more tears started to come out. He's in love with...me? That can't be. I'm with Sunggyu.
Before Taemin could say anything or come any closer, I quickly opened the door and fell backwards. Someone caught me. It was Sunggyu. He saw that I was crying and suddenly the expression on his face changed. He looked, angry. He stood me upright and looked at Taemin. Taemin was standing right in front of us, his eyes were also teary, but he wasn't looking at Sunggyu but was actually focused at me.

I could tell that Sunggyu was about to go forward and confront Taemin because suddenly his arms looked so tense as though he wanted to beat him up. I quickly pulled him back and dragged him towards the front door. Taemin's mother was coming out from the kitchen and she brought us drinks. But I just told her that Sunggyu and I had to go somewhere else and greeted her goodbye without even facing her. 

Outside, I let go of Sunggyu's arm and literally collapsed on the road side. And I started crying. Sunggyu kneeled down in front of me and and hugged me. 
"Hey, what did I say about you crying. You look prettier when you smile remember?" He said and he cupped my face again. But this time, the look on his face was different. It looked sad too. And his smile, it looked like it was forced. I couldn't bare to look at him after what happened in Taemin's room so I just buried my face in his chest.

"Come on, let's get you home."
We took the bus all the way back to my house and nobody spoke a word. He sent me all the way to my door step, kissed my forehead and left.

I closed the door behind me, and started crying again. Eun Jung was already alseep so I covered my mouth so that I wouldn't wake her up. 
Why? Why must this happen to me? Right after everything was getting better for me. Right after I was happy again. I felt as though the world couldn't see me happy and just had to make something happen so that my life would be nothing but tears. And that's when I noticed, it was raining. 

Hmph, the sky really knows howw I feel....
Or maybe it's mocking me again...