Kiseop didn't know what to do, really, the fact was, he hadn't ever experienced something like this before. He hadn't ever really thought about love, and when he did he always assumed it would come after his idol days, after his military service, with a nice, pretty, innocent girl with large brown eyes and who looked cute no matter what. Maybe they'd take overwhelmingly adorable selcas together, even.


That's what Kiseop pictured his love would be like if it ever happened.


He didn't expect it to happen as a member of U-KISS, and certainly not with another member. He didn't know how to explain it to anyone, that he had fallen in love with one of his best friends. A guy. It was wrong, he thought, to be in love with another male, one he had built a friendship with. He knew the object of his affection would probably never feel the same way about him-wouldn't even think to-and he tried to keep himself from falling harder and faster, but love is like...


Love is kind of like a bullet train, going for miles and miles at super high speeds in order to reach the desired place. There was no stopping it, and it was foolish to try.


But...love is also like the game of Russian Roulette. The gun is empty but for one bullet, and you pulled the trigger, the first time, you got shot. And, then you play again, getting shot once more. And again. Because your luck .


Finally, you give it one last try, even though you're already bleeding, because you hope this time might be different. This time, there might be no pain.

Kiseop had felt the gun's blazing bullets many times. Every time Kiseop had been referred to as just a 'friend' or vice verse, Kiseop felt the pain of another failed game. He would have to get used to it, though, because he wouldn't be anything more than a friend.

So, he couldn't let it bother him when his secret love was dozing lazily against his shoulder in the car on the way back to their dorm where they shared a room. He couldn't let his thoughts stray over any inappropriate boundaries as his dongsaeng's breath fluttered lightly over his collarbone and his long hair tickled his jawline.

Never before had he been so completely content with just being quiet and sitting in the same position. He knew, without a doubt, he shouldn't love his bandmate, but in this car, on the short drive to their dorm, he let himself be in love.

...

Soohyun tapped his fingers on the couch's arm rest, waiting for the rest of his band when Hoon shuffled sleepily into the room. Soohyun couldn't surpress his smile as his dongsaeng rubbed his eyes and smacked his lips together cutely. Looking like a bunny now more than ever. Soohyun could almost see the long, furry ears coming out of Hoon's head as he lazily sat to eat some of the breakfast Soohyun had prepared

"You're up earlier than usual, Soohyun," Hoon mentioned, his voice still groggy with sleep, which Soohyun found incredibly y.

"Just waiting around. I went to the gym already, and made breakfast."

"I can see that. When do you even sleep, hyung?" Hoon asked worriedly, looking at Soohyun with big brown eyes full of concern, "I noticed you've been like this for a while."

"I'm the leader, I have to make everything run smoothly." Soohyun answered simply with a shrug.

"Just because you're the leader doesn't mean you have to shoulder everything yourself, you know. There are six other people in the band willing to help you." Hoon pointed out, swirling his spoon around in his bowl of stew, feeling dejected that it was like Soohyun didn't trust him enough to let him help.

"Hey..." Soohyun began softly, going to sit across from Hoon at the narrow table, "what are you so upset for?" Soohyun asked, lifting Hoon's face to look at him.

"You're going to make yourself sick, hyung," Hoon pouted, hoping his aegyo would work on his leader.

Soohyun placed a soft kiss on his boyfriend's lips and smiled, "would you like to become my own personal slave, then?"

"What?" Hoon's eyes widened in shock, which only served to make Soohyun laugh loudly.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," Soohyun teased, making Hoon's cheeks go pink and Soohyun knew that's not where Hoon's mind had been at all, "I'm talking about helping me with being the leader. Like my right hand man?"

Hoon nodded, his blush slowly creeping away, "Okay, if it will help you." Hoon agreed, and Soohyun sealed their deal with a kiss.

Though he wanted to let it linger, his ears perked as a noise of a door opening forced him to pull away. They never had moments like these together, not even in their shared room. They didn't want anyone to find out, because they didn't know how their band mates would react.

Even if Eli and Kevin were openly a couple around them, it still took the band a while to get used to the fact that two of their friends were dating each other.

It wasn't that the couple thought their friends would be disgusted by Hoon and Soohyun's relationship, they just didn't want any unnecessary strain on the band.

Dongho entered the room next, face lighting up when he noticed the food, and after he sat down with a serving, the other four members of UKISS shuffled into the room for some well needed breakfast.

....

Eli watched Kevin's face as he ate his meal happily, ever the morning person. Eli, unable to ever say he was a morning person, slowly chewed and swallowed his rice, taking his time, "Eli, you and I have a free schedule today, do you want to go out and explore? We don't really come to Japan often and this is our last few days here." Kevin asked, excitedly.

Eli didn't know whether he was relieved or disappointed about their departure from Japan. On one hand, performing and debuting their album had been so fun, and he almost wanted to forget about their Korean comeback and stay with the large fan base they had acquired overseas.

On the other hand, leaving Japan meant he wouldn't  have to be around Kevin all the time. Eli's heart ached at the thought that he was beginning to think his feelings for the small brunette were changing. He no longer felt that same connection with his dongsaeng, it was like the doe-eyed feelings had melted away to nothing more than vague indifference. Eli didn't stop kissing, hugging, cuddling, or being with Kevin, because he still cared about the others' feelings. He knew Kevin was still totally in love, and he couldn't bring himself to crush the angel in front of him.

"Sure, Binnie, we'll go do something fun." Eli nodded, smiling.

"Horray! I'll go get dressed first, then." Kevin excused himself, already done eating, and rushed back into their room.

Eli sighed softly and thought over his situation. The longer he waited to tell Kevin, the more it would hurt both of them

......

Meanwhile, Dongho sat clueless to his hyungs' unfortunate situations.

....