Written by Mai

Chapter 19

Miyu sat on the bed and folded her arms uncomfortably, looking at the pair of eyes that stared at her. She felt everyone just ready to pounce her with questions. She wasn’t ready to tell them but she had to, for the sake of everyone.

In order sat Chansung, Junsu, Jaebum, Taecyeon, Junho, and Nichkhun. They all watch as Miyu immersed deep in thought.

Breaking the silence, Miyu started out with. “You all are probably wondering what’s up,” she said, laughing at herself. She felt oddly calm.

All of them mumbled in unison.

“It started out when I was taken in to this secret organization. They took in people to experiment with their drugs to create a human destroyer. I was one of them. I was taken in and I was fed this overcoming drug that made me want to kill.

-

Lilly angrily walked over to Wooyoung and smacked right across the face, causing Wooyoung to fall sideways on the ground, so hard that a scratch was left on his cheek. Lilly started to shed many tears and ran towards her picture frame.

Wooyoung held onto his face in pain and watched as Lilly scrambled next to the picture, picking up the shards of glass with her bare hands.

“GiKwang,” she huffed out, trying to put the glasses back, but all they did was cut her hand and blood dripping on the floor. “I am sorry,” she said as if the picture meant more than it should.

“Stop it!” Wooyoung cried out. “You are cutting yourself.”

Lilly looked up at Wooyoung and her eyes became cold. “GET OUT!” she yelled at him. “GET OUT GET OUT! YOUR BROKE IT! YOU BROKE MY PICTURE! YOU BROKE GIKWANG, YOU KILLED HIM!” Lilly screamed out at Wooyoung.

Wooyoung did not go, instead he grabbed onto Lilly’s wrist as she picked up the frame in her bloody hands. “LILLY STOP!” he exclaimed, gripping his hands even more.

-

“It felt like I was on a rollercoaster ride. Like when you go downhill and you stomach feels weightless. It feels good, I love the adrenaline. Once you start doing it, you never want to stop. You never want to stop that feeling,” she said coldly. “When I felt the first injection, it felt painful, but I just wanted to go and grab someone by the neck and choke them. The thought of killing someone made my hand shakes violently. It’s something I can’t get over. If I stop taking it, I go through with drawls and I become this crazy animal. It’s not me anymore…it’s not…” she took in a deep breath.  “I’m sorry…”

All the boys sat in silence as they watched her passionately talked about this.

“It’s what you saw earlier, if I don’t take it. I didn’t take it this time because I was afraid, for once. I was afraid of that feeling, the first time getting stuck into that room. I never want to go back…” she let out a breath. “I hope you understand that I just don’t kill because I want to, I kill because I have to.” She made eye contact with Chansung. “It’s not something I get to choose.”

“Miyu, what if we make you stop taking it, like putting you in a room until you get over the side effects, with drawls? Its like regular drugs, you are addicted to it, but once you get past addiction, it will gradually go away slower and slower,” Nichkhun said.

“I can’t do that,” Miyu said quietly. “It’s impossible. I HAVE to keep on taking it. If I don’t kill, I feel empty.”

“I think we should put it up for suggestion to the other girls,” Taecyeon put in. “I just want to make the household is safe.”

“It’s already safe, you idiot,” she said bitterly.

“But you are afraid to take the drug now, so why not try to get you out of it. We are only helping you Miyu,” Nichkhun chimed in.

She crossed her arms.

-

“LET GO!” she screamed in Wooyoung’s face. “GET OUT I SAID GET OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Wooyoung suddenly pulled Lilly away from the broken glass and embraced her tightly. She struggled to get out of his grip, but Wooyoung held on. Her blood-drenched hand covered his shirt and she screamed wildly underneath him.

“Stop it Lilly!” he demanded. “STOP IT! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!” he screamed.

Lilly became limp and started to sob into his blood-drenched shirt.  She felt her hands stinging painfully, but the pain she felt inside overrode it. “He’s gone,” she cried out. “My picture is ruined, it was the only memory I have of him.”

Wooyoung felt himself frown as he held onto her. He lowered Lilly and sat down, letting her cry on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to go through your belongings. I was looking for the rope and chain you asked and I tripped and fell. I didn’t mean to break it. I didn’t know it had a sentimental value to you,” Wooyoung apologized while he rocked her back and forth.

Lilly cried some more until she finally croaked out, “GiKwang was my first love. I saw him die right in front of me. This picture is the only memory I have of him.”