"What's your name?"

.....

 "________~ah"

"How old are you?" 

..... "23 - years old." 

"I see that this is your first visit? I have heard your story and I'm prepared to help you but first, let's dig deeper into your past. Like, what happened after you left 'them'?" 

- "Not long after I left, my daughter was born. I had searched for a job and when I got one, I saved all the money to raise her up." 

"How did your child react to that?" 

- "She was little but I knew that this couldn't go any longer. I didn't want her to suffer with me. So I had decided, when she would be six years old, I would send her to her dad. It was the only option, even how much it  would hurt me to let her go, I didn't have choice." 

Flashback: 

"Mommy, I don't want to leave you." my daughter cried while she held onto my legs. I kneeled down while I wiped away a tear. "Listen, my dear. It would be much better for you. If you go to your dad, you will have candy, food, delicious drinks that mommy can't buy for you.  All you need to do is take this picture of him and go to this house. And also, if you show him this necklace," I took off the necklace Jinyoung gave me years ago and put it around my daughters neck. "He will take you into his house. He's a very nice man." I told her with a weak smile but my daughter didn't want to let go of me while the train was about to leave. I smiled gently at her while my heart ached so hard. I gave birth to her and the only thing that kept me alive was her and it's hard to let go of her but it's the best I can do, I can't raise her up anymore. I got fired again and we're already broke. I over her cheek and smiled at her while she looked at me with those teary eyes. "Ooh, honey don't cry. Later when you grow up, you'll see me again. I'll come after you, promise." I said while I took out my pinky. My daughter laughed and shook my pinky. "Alright.... mommy, promise!" she chirped. I laughed and her smile resembled so much of Jinyoung. She looked so much like him that it aches my heart. "You look so beautiful," I a hair behind her ear while I observed her little flawless face. " Just like your dad. Don't forget that mommy will always love you no matter what!" I told her with a smile and teary eyes. My daughter nodded and stepped onto the train. I stood up and watched the door close as the train slowly moved. I couldn't hold on my tears anymore and let it run down while I waved at my daughter with a smile as a last memory of me. I don't want her to remember me crying. That would be bad, so I held me strong, for only two seconds.

"Farewell Jiyoung, my lovely daughter." I thought while I saw her slowly disappear in the distance. 

End of flashback. 

"How did you feel about it after she left?" 

- "I was devastated. I had a hard time but I knew that she would be in a better place than I am but I'm also worried if she had found her dad." 

"Okay, on with something else. I see that you got abused during your teenage years, did it have an impact on your life?" 

- " Yes, there were times that I felt lonely. Before I met Jinyoung, I always craved for comfort that I never got." 

"Did Jinyoung take it all away when you started to date him?"

- "Yes, he did." 

"So he did take it away, even if your relationship can be broken any time. Don't you think that your relationship with him was only born from attention and not love?" 

- "Maybe..., I don't know." 

"That made it all more clear. You seeked for attention and at that moment, Jinyoung stepped into your life. Didn't you just take the first one you saw without considering the more seriously?"

- "I don't know." 

"You're alcohol addiction, was your mother the blame of it?"

- "... No, I started drinking it myself during my hard time in society. I don't even consider it as an addiction."

"What made you think like that?" 

- "During my trip I came to know that my mother had pushed my father away, just like,... what I did with Jinyoung. She made a mistake. I made a mistake. She had an with him and I... I had an with Jinyoung, even thinking about it makes me laugh so bad.  After how she had treated me, after telling me that I looked like my father, I end up being like her. It's really funny how things has turned out." (Sarcasm)

"When your mother left you, how did you feel?"

- "Scared, lonely, a useless scumbag...."

"When everybody had turned their back on you, why did you decide to move to Busan?" 

- "Because... I no longer fit the picture. It was time to take distant and leave them alone. I became a burden." 

"And do you know what happened with Jinyoung afterwards?" 

- "I heard that he was alright... He worked at school again as a doctor and... He is happily married with Yoona, I think." 

"Do you think they have kids?" 

- "..... I don't know."

"And do you remember Jinyoungs last words before you left? Did he say he loved you?"

- "No, he didn't. He said that he hated me...... He hates me." 

"That was the last question. We are glad that you have come to search for help. I, psychiatrist, Gong Chansik declare you to be put into rehab for a lifetime. It's better for you if you go there. After all those things you have been through in your life, those things made you create a mental illness. Everything you have done in your teenage years weren't your real self. Those emotions, the love, they weren't real. We consider to make you go to rehab. You will stay there for the rest of your life. We will take good care of you."

- "Yes... Sure...." 

It has already been seven years since I left Jinyoung and everyone behind and finally I could cut all the ties. I will be under control by doctors for my "mental illness" and will be living an entirely new life alone and will die slowly in rehab when I get old even if I am not happy with the conclusion.

"Nobody would ever want me by their sides."

Jinyoung POV.

Seven years later. 

"Appa! Appa!" my daughter called me as she came out of my house. I smiled as my most precious person came running to me. 

"What is it, Jiyoung?" I asked her. The name ______~ah has given her felt like silk on my tongue. She named her after me while back then she had teased me to not name it after me if we got a kid. 

"Has it already begun?" she asked me while she grabbed my arm. I smiled and shook my head. "No, the meteor shower hasn't begun yet." I told her. Jiyoung smiled and for a second, I could see ____~ahs face in hers. 

"You look so much like your mother." I smiled while I rubbed her cheek with my thumb. Jiyoung smiled and walked over to sit on my lap. 

"Appa, I miss umma." Jiyoung said sadly while she looked down. I tilted her chin and her hair. "One day, she will come back." I told her. That was a big lie but I didn't want to tell her that she gave up on her. "Really?" she gasped. I nodded and kissed her cheek. "Don't you miss appa too? Because I do, I love Jiyoung~" I exlaimed and took her rapidly into my arms and cuddled her. 

Jiyoung giggled and gave me a peck on my cheek which made me surprised. 

"I love you too, appa." she giggled. I smiled and then pointed at the sky. 

"Look! A meteor shower!" I pointed out. Jiyoung looked up and gasped.

"So beautiful!" she gasped. 

I smiled and watched the meteor shower. 

"_______~ah, please come back. I miss you a lot. I regret that I have been so mean on you. I don't hate you. In fact, I have never hated you. I have always loved you. If only I could see you again. You gave me such a beautiful child. If you told me you wanted to keep the child, I would have agreed. Why did you disappear so suddenly?" I thought sadly.

"Look appa! A shooting star!! Appa, make a wish!!" she exclaimed excited while she closed her eyes. I looked up surprised and then closed my eyes too for a wish....

It's so wonderful tonight~

Oh beautiful night

It's so wonderful tonight~

Come back to me now...

Jinyoung and I didn't get together and were seperated. We didn't overcome the . My child found her father, I am so proud of her but despite the time that has been passing by, she slowly began to forget the face of her caring mother that once was by her side but now was locked away in her own despair. I wish I could enjoy one moment with them together.  I'll miss them and I'm sorry to those who had been suffering because of me. I'm sorry. Finally, after so many years, I can close this book. This is my final chapter of this book of my life full of misery and unfortune. I'll will stop writing and put down my pen while I breathe my last breath...

Saranghae,  Jinyoung.

....The End....

Thank you for reading this story.^^ 

I'm sorry that it is a sad ending T_T

Thanks for being subscribed and thank you for commenting.

I loved writing this story, only it took more inspiration to get through the end. 

Thank you and hopefully, I see you again in another story of mine. Besides for the ones who has questions about Yoona and Kwangmin. 

Jinyoung didn't marry Yoona so Kwangmin is married with Yoona. They somehow fell in love during the years that flew by ^^. 

And for the ones who do want a happy ending, just comment below that you want a happy ending and if there are lots of them, I'll post a chapter longer with the happy ending ^^

And if you're interested, here are other fics of mine ^^

Fics summaries.

Car Crash Insomnia 

A girl loses her memory due a car crash and is trying to stick everything together and the only clue that she has is a letter from an unknown person X. Everybody tries to help her but due some problems in the past, it is better to be kept secret. Everyone tells another story, who will she believe and who is that mysterious someone who keeps sending her letters?

Characters: Na-Young (You), Nu'est, B1A4, BOYFRIEND and upcoming many more.

Not in A Million Mails (Completed)

A girl who mails with a person called Pipoomica, without knowing who the real person is. Until one day, she meets them and everything got a surprising twist as her best friend, Minzy betrays her and a strange gang turns up and destroys her life. 

Characters: Boyfriend, B1A4, Minzy, You. 

Run Away With Me...

Sequel to Not In A Million Mails.

Sunshine Above The Clear Waters.

A two-shot about you as the main lead and Jung Jinyoung. 

Characters: You, Jinyoung (B1A4)

The next two last chapters contains the happy ending for the ones who wants to read ^^