Leeteuk and the other Super Junior members walked into the dorm about the time Leeteuk suspected they would, shuffling their feet. 

They were all tired, that much was obvious. Their eyelids drooped, most of them were yawning, and their shoulders were hunched over.

Jonghyun set down his spoon, ignoring the cereal in his bowl, and stood up to greet them, using one crutch to hobble towards them. They greeted him back, everyone except Kyuhyun, with tired smiles. Donghae reached over and ruffled his hair fondly, before disappearing into the living room to crash on the couch alongside Eunhyuk.

The other members split to go into their own rooms, leaving Jonghyun and Leeteuk still in the kitchen.

Jonghyun linked his arm with Leeteuk's. "I thought you said that you would call before you came home, hyung." He walked with the leader back to the table and they both sat down.

Leeteuk nodded and sunk into the seat. "Yes, but the manager's dropped us of and left for the company. They had to clear a bunch of our schedules up since we were so late with filming yesterday."

Jonghyun took another bite of his cereal, nodding slightly to show he understood. "That's good then. Have you eaten yet?"

"Yeah. We ate at the hotel this morning."

Jonghyun nodded again, trying to keep a smile off his face when he thought of Onew and their phone call last night. He debated within himself if he wanted to tell Leeteuk about it. 

"Why are you so happy?" Leeteuk smiled at him, his eyes sparkling in amusement as he watched Jonghyun smile at his cereal. "Is your cereal really good or something?"

Jonghyun's cheeks lit up. "Ah...no, th-that's not it." He twirled the remaining pieces of cereal around with his spoon nervously. "I got on my email last night..."

Leeteuk waved a hand, encouraging him to continue. "And?"

"Well, um...Key, Taemin, and Minho had emailed me a bunch. I was a little disappointed when I didn't see one from Onew-hyung. Bu-But, just as I was about to log out, I received an email from him. He said he missed me."

Leeteuk's smile widened. "That's great, Jonghyun."

Jonghyun nodded sheepishly. "Yeah, it was. After you called and told me you wouldn't be home last night, I went to bed - but was a little lonely. I didn't want to call you, in case you were asleep already, and I didn't want to bother the rest of the members for the same reason...so I called Onew-hyung." 

Leeteuk's eyes widened and he sat up in his seat, no longer looking tired. Jonghyun couldn't read his expression and that scared him a little.

"What?"

"I-I called him, hyung."

"From your cellphone?"

"Yeah, of course." 

"Did you tell him where you were? Did you mention anything about us?"

Jonghyun hurriedly shook his head. 'No! Of course not!"

Leeteuk slumped back in his seat, a slow, small, smile returning back to his lips. "Good..." 

He gave Jonghyun an apologetic look.

"But...anyway, he was really surprised to hear from me and even started crying. He told me that he was really happy."

Leeteuk gave Jonghyun's hair a gentle ruffle. "I'm proud of you for calling him, Jjong. That means you're forgiving him."

"...I don't want to go back though." Jonghyun murmured, scooping up the remaining cereal in his bowl and eating it. It was soggy already, and he forced himself to swallow it down. He had never liked soggy cereal. 

"Why not?"

There was a long silence.

"Have you ever felt...that you were pulling your team down? That they could do better without you?"

Leeteuk nodded slowly. "Yes, of course. Everyone who belongs in a team feels that way at least once."

"Well...that's how I feel. I watched their concert yesterday." Jonghyun took a deep breathe. "Taemin sang so well. He's always doubted himself - and never got the chance to show everyone just how well he can sing, because I've always been there. Minho sang some of Taemin's parts, since he was covering for me so much. He was really great too. He never gets the chance to sing.

"Hyung, they never needed me. I've just always been in the way of their dreams. I always mess up and get them into trouble. If I wouldn't have dated Se Kyung, then they wouldn't have lost so many fans. If I didn't yell at that reporter, then none of this would have happened." 

Leeteuk said nothing for a long time, studying the young man before him. Finally, he spoke, and Jonghyun noticed in shock, that the leader had tears in his eyes. "Jonghyun, listen to me." Super Junior's leader put a hand on his shoulder. "Every group makes mistakes. There have been countless times that I have made a mistake, and brought my group down. You can ask the other members as well, they've all made mistakes." Leeteuk removed his hand from Jonghyun's shoulder and sat back in his seat, propping his feet up on the table casually. 

He didn't speak for a minute or two, hesitating before he spoke next. His voice had dropped down to a whisper, as if the topic were very hard to talk about. 

"Jonghyun, I lied once, on a show. The backlash not only affected me and my group, but also another idol. I hated myself for that, Jonghyun. I don't know why I did it, maybe because I just wanted to make people laugh, but...it was stupid and wrong. At that time, I believed that Super Junior could do better without me - that they would be more successful with a better leader. But then, I realized that mistakes happen and you have to learn from them. If I wouldn't have lied on that show, and made those mistakes I did, I wouldn't be half the person I am today. We may have fewer fans now because of that, but, if they left because of my mistake, then they weren't really ELFs in the first place."

Jonghyun bit his lip. "I don't understand what you're trying to say, hyung." He murmured quietly.

Leeteuk removed his feet from the table and now placed both his hands on Jonghyun's shoulders, rotating him around so that they were able to look at one another face to face. "What I mean, Jonghyun, is that you have to drag yourself out of your self-pity and think rationally. SHINee is nothing without you. They're not SHINee without you - just like we're not Super Junior without Hankyung and Kibum. You need to it up and go back to them."

Leeteuk stood up from the table, giving Jonghyun one last pat on the shoulders, and walked into the living room. 

"Think about what I said, Jonghyun." He called over his shoulder.

Jonghyun nodded absently, frowning.

Was it true?

Jonghyun took the whole rest of the morning just thinking about Leeteuk’s words.

He was sitting on the couch next to Shindong, his cheek resting on his fist, while absently watching a commercial on beauty products. Shindong was talking to him, telling him a story about something, but Jonghyun’s mind was too preoccupied to pay him much attention.

Do they really need me? They all said they did…but was it true? Would they perform better with me there? Was my absence the reason Onew-hyung messed up at the concert? Maybe Teukkie-hyung was right, maybe-

Suddenly there was a turtle in his face, its long neck poking out, about ready to bit Jonghyun’s nose. He screamed and moved so fast away from it, that the he nearly tipped the couch over. He found himself clinging onto Shindong, cowering against him.

There was laughing all around him, mostly from the culprit holding the turtle and Shindong, but Jonghyun suspected some of the others had witnessed the scene as well. His cheeks flushing, Jonghyun sat up and scowled at everyone.

Yesung was holding the turtle, which was swimming in the air, its little feet moving rapidly as it tried to run away.

“Yah!” Jonghyun screamed, focusing his glare on the singer. “Hyung, that wasn’t funny! I almost had a heart attack!”

Yesung bit his bottom lip, trying not to laugh some more. “I’m s-sorry Jonghyun,” A chuckle escaping his lips anyway. “I c-couldn’t h-help it!”

Jonghyun scowled at him, but he had to admit, it was a little funny. He found himself chuckling a little bit with the other members, those of them that were home for the hour. Siwon, Leeteuk, Kibum, Kyuhyun, Sungmin, Donghae, and Heechul were all away, doing their schedules.

“You and your turtles, hyung,” Ryeowook patted Yesung on the back, shaking his head with a smile.

Eunhyuk gave Jonghyun’s hair a pat, a teasing grin on his face. “I can’t believe you were scared of Ddangkkoma! He’s harmless!”

Jonghyun turned his scowl to him now, swatting the other’s hand away. “Yah, you’d be scared too! It was about ready to eat me!”

“It can’t eat you, silly! It’s a turtle!” Shindong cried with a joyous laugh.

“No, but they can bite…” Yesung muttered, putting the turtle on the ground so it could roam around.

“It’d better not poop on the floor, hyung!” Ryeowook grimaced, watching the turtle run to Eunhyuk.

Jonghyun smiled at all of them.