Have you ever felt like half of your body paralyzed and you are so eager to move it that you move your healthy half body? You are so so eager that your brain can feel your paralyzed body move but they didn't even twitch a muscle.

That was what Johnny felt when he run downstair hastily uttering quick apologize to his parents, to see a panicked and jittery Jeonghan outside. 

"I don't know where she goes. She didn't have any jacket she didn't have any shoes she didn't have her phone she's crying she's hurt my baby is...-" Jeonghan was rambling and Johnny had to stop him. 

"Okay okay...we have to be quick! Now, tell me which way did she go." Johnny had never felt this panic before. 

"I don't know! If I know I wouldn't ask for your help, Suh!" Jeonghan snapped, grabbing his hair. Johnny felt his heart throb in pain. 

Jeonghan is so scared right now that he can't think of anything and he don't care if Johnny see him crying at the moment. He's so scared when his baby sister dashed out like a mad human, screaming. 

"Let's find her first. I will try downtown to the park. You can search over the school route." Johnny tried to calm Jeonghan down. He grab Jeonghan by the shoulder in determination. 

"I promise. I will bring her back to you. Not the way that you afraid she's going to do." 

That's his promise when he run around the neighbourhood, calling for the broken woman that he had grew comfortable with, even start to develop a feeling that he didn't think possible because they hadn't know each other for that long. He literally can't feel his heart beating loudly at the moment. Because he's too busy worrying and being anxious. 

Johnny wanted to find her and be there for her. He didn't want to think the possibilities of what worst scenario that running in Jeonghan's head. Jeonghan was crying like that and he had seen it once. He didn't want to think even the slightest of that, to happen. It's serious and he desperately need to find her. He didn't need to know Jeonghan for long to realize that he was so heartbroken and it looks like Jeonghan lost his life.

Johnny didn't want to imagine it, until he arrived at an almost deserted bridge. It feels like he had been running too far. He saw few homeless on the bridge and sigh. There's no way she had been this far. His forehead and face is glistening with sweats. His hand goes up to wipe it, and he almost turn around to go back, when he heard a quiet sob.

His head snapping to all direction, trying to find that source. He goes further, and he felt his heart dropping at the sight of Jungchae sitting over the bridge. And he feels like his heart is beating again when he saw her. Johnny didn't know what power moved his legs, running so fast to her. 

"I'm ready. I'm going. I'm going, Han. The death is calling me.  Johnny, I'm sorry. In my head, it will always be me." 

Those words made him angry and he pulled her harshly towards him. His breathe ragged and he's panting hard with her body close over his chest. He can feel her heart beating against him, and that's enough for him. He need to feel her to release all the heavy feelings inside his heart. His hug grow tight and it felt as if she's gonna be taken away from him if he loosen his hug.

"You are not going anywhere! You are not going to do that again, angel! It is not gonna be you, either it's in your mind or other people! Neither it's in your head, nor it is in mine! You are not leaving us behind! I won't let you go anywhere, angel! Not a chance! You are loved, angel! You, are loved!" 

He's desperate to let her know that she is more than what she think she is. And she broke down, sobbing, wailing in his arms. Johnny felt his heart break at the sight of her messy state and the sound of her agonizing cry. 

Jungchae cried her heart out. She felt so helpless. It felt like she's at her worst and she can't do anything about it. She didn't want to be saved because she's done mending her heart. She can't see the light in her life but then, here is Johnny. Holding her in his arms. Saying how loved she is. She can't help but burst out loud. He sounds so good despite him yelling at her. 

"Angel, you are loved. Don't do this, angel. You can cry all you want. You can be tired for how long you want and you can sleep for how many times you want, but come back please. Be weak and exhausted like you always see yourself but never once, give up like this. Don't leave us behi