There's not a day goes by that I didn't think of killing myself. I live my life with that thought living rent free in my mind. I am so tired. Tired of life like this where I don't even know, what am I living for. For real, what am I living for? Why am I even alive to be hated? I should be well gone by now, shouldn't I? Nobody would care anyway.  

She write those lines, thinking all those bad things she could think at the moment. Thinking how good it was to actually leave the world that she always think unfair to her. How nice it is to finally end the pain. Jungchae didn't think that anyone would care. Everyone hate her, doesn't they? 

"Chae, what the hell were you doing?" Jeonghan enter her room with a face that she knows very well. He's angry. And upset. 

"I'm only doing him and people a favor." Jungchae said casually as she closed the books. But her eyes is threateningly red. The dam almost broke. 

"Chae! I told you so many times! You have me! Can't you see how I always stand with you? Didn't you see how much love I have for you? Yoon Jungchae, can't you see how loved you are?" By now, Jeonghan is so frustrated. 

"And didn't you see how broken am I?!" That words slapped Jeonghan awake from his angry rants. 

"Han, I am broken. Your love aren't enough to make me feel loved. Do you know how many people hate me? Do you realize that the one person that I wanted to love me, hated me? Yoon Jeonghan, I am not like you. I am build from hatred! Didn't you see that?!" 

"Shut the up! You almost hurt me! You almost killed me! How inhuman of you, Chae!" Jeonghan is this close to snapped at his twin. 

"How am I killing you?!" Jungchae yelled at her twin. 

"You almost died! If you die over there, it means you killed me too, Yoon Jungchae! Didn't you think that I might die too? Did you even see me? Did you even realize how much you could harm us both?!" 

Jeonghan only wanted her to realize that he is so upset and angry because she thought about ending her life that way. What he forgot was that, she is different from him. Her mind process things very anxiously. He forgot that Jungchae is a ball full of insecurities. She took it the other way. Her eyes widened. 

"So, you actually hate me too."

Her voice is almost gone. He barely heard it and his eyes widened when he realize that she had misunderstood his words. His anger dissipated in a matter of second. Jeonghan is quick to hug her when her eyes already bursting crystals. 

"No! Sweetheart no! I don't! I would and never will do that! I love you so much! Sweetheart, I swear that's not it! Sweetheart, please don't do this to me! Don't take it that way! I love you so much! I am only angry and upset because you wanted to leave me alone! I'm sorry, sweetheart! I hurt you!" 

This is one of the time that made Jeonghan really afraid. He's so afraid that Jungchae will thinks he hate her. He never wanted Jungchae to feel out of love, especially with him. Even if it means he can't love anyone else, he's willing to give all the love he got, only for her. And he's really afraid that he's gonna be one of the people that hurt her. Jeonghan had never thought the slightest bit, of hurting her. 

And today, he hurt her. Jeonghan craddle her head to his chest. The sound of her cry got the best of him. 

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I hurt you when I should've protect you." 

He felt relieved when he feel her arms coming to his back, hugging him. At least she trust him. 

"I'm sorry. I'm too blinded by the hatred dad has for me that I didn't see you. I could hurt you." She said between sob and Jeonghan feel his heart break at the sound of her. 

"No! You didn't hurt me, sweetheart. You never did. You've been doing so well. I'm proud of you but please. Don't pull that kind of act again. Not in front of me, not in front of anyone. I will seriously hate you if you do that again." 

Jeonghan know he sounds childish but this is the only thing he can do right now to prevent the damage. 

"Promise me, to never do that...-no! Scratch that. Never think about doing that. Promise me. Stay alive for me, sweetheart." 

Jungchae wanted to slam her head to the brick walls for hurting Jeonghan. Despite Jeonghan saying she didn't hurt him, she couldn't stop blaming herself. 

I am Yoon Jungchae. There's no cure for that. 

- 

That night, the twins sitting in