What do I do? This small heart of mine is longing for something that I know I can't do. It's a sin but I am longing for it. Yes. I am longing for death and I am depressed. I want to live, so much but I don't want to feel this. This world is too scary to live in. I want to tell the world what I feel but I'm scared of the judgemental people. I don't know when did it start. I feel worst, every single moment of my life. It's sufffocating and I want to get it out of my heart, so badly. It's hurting every piece of me. My soul, my heart, my mind, even my body. Every part is painful. 

She stop writing. Her mind turned blank. She was sitting by her desk, re-reading what she wrote. Again and again, until she felt numb inside. Jeonghan was downstair, having dinner with their parents and she really didn't want to sit with her dad. 

She never know for what reason did her dad hate her so much. He would be nitpicking on her everytime he could. He always downgrading her and she had been growing up, very insecure. A very different persona that Jeonghan have. 

Jeonghan is the epitome of confidence, loud and outspoken. Her twin is very brave and she was grateful for that. And she note one thing. He hold grudges, which she find quite dangerous. He always involved in a fight and most of the time, it was always because of her. He never let anyone hurt her. In highschool, she was known as Jeonghan's sugarbaby, which made her almost want to drop out. But Jeonghan was able to make it stop when he just leisurely walk with her at school by loudly saying, 'Our dad didn't like her, of course she's my sugarbaby'.

An attitude that she found very riddiculous but charming at the same time. He played along with it and she loved it. He knows how to handle a situation like that.

Her door being knocked and she was shot out of her trance. She abruptly close her books and put it away. 

"You didn't eat." Jeonghan came in, just as she stand from her chair. 

"Didn't feel like it." And she's been really honest with Jeonghan. She can never tell lies to him. 

Jeonghan lay on her bed when she smack his thigh, really strong. Jeonghan rub his thigh furiously as he didn't see that coming. 

"Don't lay on my bed, you pig! You smell like ciggarettes!" Jungchae scrambled on her bed, trying to pull Jeonghan off her bed. 

"It's not that bad. It means I'm a great smoker." Jeonghan cheekily said and slumping his body on her bed more. Jungchae wanted to punch his smirk off of his face. 

"You want me to die smelling the smoke? Go on then." Jungchae only wanted to joke around with her twin but that clearly didn't end well when Jeonghan abruptly sit up. 

"Don't go around saying things like that. You know I don't like it." Jeonghan sounded scary fo