Today - Jung Yerin (6)

Yesterday - Jung Yerin (12)

Yuna stared at her phone, looking at her call history. She sighed and turned off her phone before she was tempted to call Yerin again. She got up from her dorm's dining table and went back to her room, where she wrote all her music.

It was the end of Fall, and Yuna had crazy deadlines to meet. She needed a sidetrack written by the weekend, her new choreography memorized by tomorrow, and on top of all that, she had photoshoots every day that week. Even though she had so much going on, her mind was preoccupied thinking about what she had done wrong that Yerin wasn't answering her calls, or even sending a text back. Yuna unlocked her phone again and looked at her recent messages to her girlfriend.

Yuna: Yerin?

Yuna: Please tell me what's going on.

Yuna: I don't know what I did wrong, but I never meant to hurt you.

Yuna: Please, just text me so I know you're there.

She threw her phone on the bed as she took a seat in her desk chair, leaning backward and spinning around in it. She really needed to focus on writing, but she couldn’t seem to get past this.

What did I do wrong? Did I say something to her? Did I hurt her? All she knew was that Yerin was upset, and she had no idea why. Ever since that day they went shopping, Yerin seemed to be distant, almost cold to Yuna.

A knock on the door jerked Yuna from her internal monologue. “Come in,” Yuna said, turning her chair to face the door. Seulgi walked in yawning, wearing her pajamas.

“Yuna, it’s 4am in the morning," Seulgi asked groggily, stretching her arms up in the air. "What are you doing up?"

“I have to finish writing this song soon,” Yuna replied, picking up her notebook just to throw it back onto the desk. “But I’ve been having writer’s block for the past two days.”

Seulgi covered to yawn again before replying, “Really? That’s a first.”

Yuna had a track record of always being able to write a song in a short amount of time; when she was really inspired, she could just pick up the guitar and write until the wee hours of the night.

“I think there’s probably just a lot on my mind…” Yuna drifted. Yerin was at the forefront of her thoughts, and she was unable to wrap her head around why her girlfriend was ignoring her calls and texts. “Ever since that day we went shopping, Yerin has been so distant from me.”

“Do you have any idea why?” Seulgi inquired, taking a seat on Yuna’s bed.

Yuna flipped through the pages in her notebook, taking short glances at the notes she’s written over the past few days. Some were about self-love, others about the rain; but most of all, the words she’s written have been about how she feels for Yerin. “I have no idea why,” Yuju replied, bringing her legs up onto the chair to sit in a fetal position. “That was the last time I saw her, or even talked to her.”

“Well, do you want to talk about it?” Seulgi moved further into Yuna’s bed so she could lean her back against the wall. “I know I’m not one of your friends from home, but I’m always here for you too.”

“I just don’t know what I did wrong,” Yuna sighed. “One moment we were happy together, and the moment we stepped in the car, it seemed like her mood drastically changed.”

“Did something happen before you got in the car?”

“I don’t think so... We just left the store. I walked out and waved to some fans while we walked over to the manager’s van.”

Seulgi paused before replying to Yuna. “Yuna, have you ever thought about if Yerin wanted to tell people about your relationship?”

“What? Why would she?”

In reality, Yerin couldn’t bring herself to answer Yuna’s calls. Every time her phone vibrated from Yuna’s attempts to talk to her, she could only feel overwhelming guilt, knowing that it would be impossible for Yuna and her to ever be fully together. No matter where they went or who they were with, there was just too much of a chance that they could be caught in public together, and it could easily ruin Yuna’s career in seconds.

“Maybe she doesn’t want you to have to choose between her and your dreams, Yuna.” Seulgi said, crossing her arms across her chest. “She wants to be able to hold your hand and hug you in public, but she can’t because it would put your career at risk, and she doesn’t want that. But even so, it must hurt not being able to show people that you’re with the person you love.”

Y