2019

‘hm.’

Then Miyeon glanced her way and quickly raised her arms. “You said no kissing, nothing about cuddling!” The older girl quickly defended herself and Minnie looked at her as well and smiled while Shuhua just rolled her eyes and looked out the window again.

She repressed the need to smile to herself as the sight of seeing the two of them being affectionate with each other didn’t make her upset anymore.

So this is what having moving on feels like, huh? She thought to herself, thinking back of Soojin again and feeling this warmth inside her heart that she usually only felt with Minnie back in the way, despite not wanting to be here at first, scared of what she might feel around them again. This was the confirmation she needed.

‘Minnie-Unnie, I have finally moved on from you’

xxx

With her earpods on and hands busy typing on her phone, Minnie made her way across the school's hallway, not really bothering to look around and at the people glancing and giggling until she finally noticed the crowd in front of the notice board. Hui was in front of it and the girl took off the airpods to understand what's going on. 

"Come on, Hui. It's just a peek" One of the boys from the swimming team said, his friends nodding along as they laughed. 

"I said no! Back off, This is not funny!" The boy replied, standing in the way to keep anybody else from looking, then his eyes went wide once he noticed Minnie approaching them.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"Noona, I didn't know you're such a heartbreaker" Minnie heard one of them say and could only frown in confusion.

"What are you talking about-"

"Hey! Stop that!" Hui interrupted, after seeing Shuhua so upset over those pages he was currently trying his best to keep anybody else from reading them until he could take those down in peace, but some people had already taken pictures and passed around like some kind of sick joke.

"What is going on?" She asked Hui and then glanced at the notice board. "...What is that?" 

"Nothing-"

"Bull... Come on, let me see it-" Before he could do anything she had already pushed him to the side and looked at the pages on the notice board.

She could recognize Shuhua's handwriting everywhere, for a long time she had joked about how the taiwanesse had the straightest handwriting, so once she put her eyes on the diary pages spread all over the board, she felt dry as she read what was in there.

Minnie-Unnie will never love me back.

She reads and rereads, hoping she was reading it wrong, maybe it was Shuhua's korean, Right? She must have used the wrong word, she looked at the other page.

Minnie-Unnie defended me today… My heart could burst from happiness. She's so cool! I'm so in love with her!!

"Who… Who put those up?" She asked, turning around to Hui who shrugged.

"No idea. Whoever put those up must have come really early" He then looked down. "I saw Soojin in front of the board reading them before she left in a hurry." He crossed his arms as he thought back of Soojin leaving the school with some papers on her hands."But I didn't think much of what was in it until people started to make a crowd" He explained, thinking that maybe if he went after the girl right away he could've helped.

"So she saw them…" Minnie looked at the pages again. "Do me a favor and take those down, ok?" Hui nodded and then frowned once Minnie started to leave, wondering where the girl was going, but without questioning he started to take the pages down, without looking at them too much, and ignored the people complaining behind him.

.

.

.

The longer the silence went by, the more Yuqi felt her hands shake as she stared at Soyeon who waited for an answer that she already knew, she was just giving the chinese girl the chance to be honest with her, for once at least, to finally speak the truth to her and Yuqi, despite her feeling of nervousness, knew she had to be sincere if she wanted to fix any of this mess.

“I… I did” Yuqi said, looking down. “I accepted dating you not out of pity, but… you were my friend back then and we got along well and I thought-”

“That I could be a good replacement?” Soyeon suggested, with a humorless chuckle and Yuqi closed her eyes before taking a deep breath, reminding herself to keep on being honest even if she knew her words would hurt Soyeon.

“I wanted to move on from my feelings for Shuhua and I dated you so I could do that,” She admitted and then looked into Soyeon’s eyes. “But I fell in love with you, truly” The girl said, giving a step closer but stopping when Soyeon took a step back, crossing her arms. “Soyeon-”

“Am I supposed to feel better with that?” The older said and Yuqi didn’t know how to reply to that. “am I supposed to forget everything and pretend half of what we had wasn't a lie?”

“That’s not what I said,” Yuqi quickly said. “I just want you to know my feelings are sincere and when I say I love you I mean it” 

“and how many ‘I love you’s were lies?” Soyeon asked, and Yuqi was quiet again. “How many of those you said wishing you were telling her instead?” She pressed and the other didn’t reply which just had Soyeon shaking her head before she turned around, grabbed the diary page and as she crumpled it into a paper ball, she threw it on Yuqi’s chest who flinched. “That’s what I thought” It’s all she said, before grabbing her bag as she started to leave, which had the chinese girl panicking as she quickly followed her.

“Soyeon, wait. where are you going?” She called. “Let’s resolve this, please” She begged, grabbing her arm to keep the girl from leaving, which worked as the older turned around.

“We already did,” She said. “You’re not my girlfriend anymore”

Yuqi felt her body froze as the older pulled her arm from her grasp and quickly made her way out of the locker room without looking back. 

.

.

.

“Because of her, Minnie-Unnie will never love me back”

Shuhua stood in silence as she watched Miyeon read the sentence, knowing there was no turning back now that the older knew about the truth.

“Miyeon-Unnie-”

“Shut up.”Her tone was harsh, cold even and Shuhua quickly closed . “I don’t even wanna hear your voice”

She knew Miyeon was angry, of course she was. Who would like to know there was someone else crushing on  their girlfriend and wishing for them to break up everyday? Shuhua knew she would have the same reaction; Still, despite being angry, her face remained neutral as she kept on reading the pages in silence and Shuhua knew it was for the best to just let her, even if she knew what was in there.

“Minnie said I looked great in her jacket” Miyeon reads as she walks across the room and Shuhua could only watch her. “But why did she give it to Miyeon the next week if I looked better on it? I don’t understand; I bet she convinced her somehow, I hate her! I hate her!” 

She wanted to say she didn’t mean those words, that it was written in a moment of anger, pure jealousy and she didn’t actually have any bad intent behind those besides venting all her negative feelings but she also knew Miyeon had no reason to believe in her or on whatever she says. Not anymore.

“Miyeon-Unnie” She tried again and thankfully the older didn’t snapped at her again, she just stood there, looking at the pages, taking in every word. “All of this, doesn’t mean anything anymore I just-”

“You think I’m naive?” Miyeon asked and Shuhua looked at her, confused while the older turned to stare at her, now she could see the anger building up inside her eyes. “You think I never noticed the way you looked at Minnie?” She stepped closer.

Shuhu