From that day on, I didn't go to the second floor again. Second week passed and I was slowly getting used on hard trainings and classes. We were already learning how to use weapons. I was actually pretty good at this, so a gun would probably be the only thing that could keep me alive in a fight.

My condition was slowly getting better, but I still couldn't be like others, especially not when we were learning about martial arts and fighting, which definitely wasn't for me. Major Huang, who was teaching us about this, was pretty good, but I just wasn't created for any kind of fighting. 

Major Park's bruise slowly started to fade away and soon there was just a weak red mark left on his face. I wanted to forget about everything that had happened, but it was hard, because I thought about it every time major looked at me, when we had trainings.

Another reason why I couldnt forget that day were my dreams, the same dream about me and my brother. Sometimes they were shorter and not so intense, but from time to time it got worse. All of the memories I wanted to delete. I wanted to forget everything and start again as a completely different person, which wasn't possible. 

Every day I woke up in screams, covered with sweat. It was taking me energy and I usually woke up tired, so I had to learn how to hide this from others, especially major Park, who would have been the first one to use my exhaustion against me. The only one who knew about this was Kyungsoo. He didn't ask much about it, since he knew I didn't want to talk about things that were bothering me. He just helped me to calm down every time I couldn't sleep, but his effort didn't help me for long and the dreams came back.

I was eating breakfast with other freshman students. It was Saturday and I couldn't wait for Sunday, when I could finally get some rest. Others were talking about things they had done in high school before coming here and random topics.

I was just ignoring them and minding my own business until Kyungsoo spoke with me: "Baekhyun, do you know you are talking in sleep?" He asked.

"What?" I asked and looked to him surprised. 

"You are sleep-talking all the time," He said again. "You should hear yourself!"

"Why is it important?" 

Kyungsoo hit his forehead disappointed in me. "It is not important, we were talking about this for a while now. Learn how to take part in a conversation!" 

I looked to my friend with eyes widely opened. "Well... I can't hear myself while I am sleeping anyway..." I replied. "You try to hear how you snore at night and then start telling others to shut up at night!"

"Ahahaha, now you can't deny that you also can't stay quiet at night!" Minseok laughed, but I didn't really get why it was funny. 

"I didn't tell you to shut up," Kyungsoo ignored Minseok and kept talking to me. "It is just interesting that you are very quiet through the day and you annoy me at the night."

"Ignore it, they are just dreams,"

"Dreams that make you scre..." I gave Kyungsoo a look, which stopped him from talking. Others behind the table looked at me curiously, which was the exact reaction I didn't want to see. 

"Baek, you are having nightmares?" Minseok asked. 

"Not really," I answered.

"Tell us!" he insisted. "Was it bad?"

I looked at him a little annoyed. "All nightmares are usually bad... That is why we call them like that,"

"But seriously, Baekhyun," Kyungsoo raised his voice again. "It can't be that bad. You never tell me about them, but I bet you also have nightmares about major Park pushing you from the cliff and then ordering you to make thousand push-ups, after you break every bone in your body after falling."

"I am not afraid of major Park or push-ups..." I said quietly. "And no I've never had dreams like that. This is just silly!"

"Anyway, I would have them if I were on your place.... I don't know how you survive everyday trainings with Park. His trainings are hella hard!" Minseok was in the same unit as Kyungsoo and they mostly had trainings with other major Zhang, who was much more understanding compared to major Park. 

"You would get used on it," I ate the last piece of bread, which we got for breakfast and then leaned back.

"That is probably true, but it still doesn't change the fact that major Park looks scary from time to time," Kyungsoo said. "Just look at him!"

He looked behind his back to the other side of the hall where professors, trainers and generals had their tables. I carefully followed his look and soon found major Park sitting behind one of the tables with others. He was serious like always, he was just quietly eating his breakfast without talking to others there. 

"He actually looks bored," Minseok whispered. "Maybe that is why he annoys students so much. Probably even other professors and trainers don't like him."

"I am not sure about that," I said.

"Well, He is still scary," Kyungsoo insisted. 

"Like you aren't," I said. 

"I wouldn't torture young students, especially not fresmans, like that! Even if I hated every single one of them!" He looked at me with his big dark look. 

I looked away from him and kept my eyes on major, while the other two were talking with each other. Some other boys also involved themselves in the conversation, but I was ignoring all of them. 

"Baekhyun?.... Baekhyun! BYUN BAEKHYUN!" Kyungsoo called my name and I looked at my friend a bit confused. My blood suddenly froze because of the look in his eyes. 

"What?" I asked and looked around to find out what had happened.

"I was asking you something and you just ignored," he said.

"Did you?"

"Yeah, do you know where you have training or do I have to go to look with you, ?!"

I thought about it a little and tried to get all other thoughts out of my mind. "I.... I don't know," I answered and my friend stared at him for a moment.

"Did you ignore me before, because you were looking at Park?" he narrowed his eyes. 

"I...I..." I was trying to find an excuse.

"Ah, just shut up! I know that Park is scary and y. I mean... If a few things were different, like his annoying personality, I would totally go for.... KIM JONGIN!!"

"Kim Jongin?" I asked. "What? You would go for Jongin?"

"Well yeah, but no!" Kyungsoo said. "Kim Jongin is coming here! Everyone, shut up!"

I saw how he looked away from the member from my unit. He was really approaching us and it looked like he had something to tell.

"Baekhyun, Jinki and Kibum !" He called when he came enough close. "We will have training outside of the campus with general Oh. We will have some kind of 'a battle' and yeah... I want us to win!"

"How do you know this?" I asked.

"General just came to me a minute ago and told me to to tell others. I hope I can count on you as someone who will do well Baek..."

"I am not sure, but I will try to do my best," 

"GREAT," Jongin smiled and turned around to the other table where Minho was sitting with his friends. "I will be the one making decisions for our unit today, not you, Choi!"

Minho looked at him with a bit mad look. "You won't decide what I can or can't do!" he replied. 

"Oh, yeah I will!" Jongin said and then looked at me. "Baekhyun, you are on my side aren't you?" 

"I.... I..." I didn't know what to say, since I didn't really know how serious the drama between Minho and Jongin was. 

"Chose wisely on whose side you are!" He warned me. "Anyway, I will go and tell others and hey...!" he looked at Minseok and Kyungsoo. "You two are from the unit A3?"

"We... we are..." Kyungsoo tried to speak but then Minseok interrupted him. "Yes, we are. Kyungsoo here probably forgot how to speak." 

Jongin raised his eyebrows and continued. "I think you will have training with us as much as I remember," he smiled and showed his white teeth.

"Oh great!" Kyungsoo said excited, but Jongin just put a finger on his lips to silence him. 

"If we will be in separate groups.... I will end you all!" He jumped a little and giggled cutely after that sentence, like he hadn't just threatened him a second ago.

Kyungsoo was just staring at Jongin, so I decided to do something about that. "Okay, Jongin! See you later!"

"Okie," he giggled again and left. Everyone was quiet for some time until, Kyungsoo decided to speak when Jongin was already far away. 

"Damn, this guy looks hot as hell, even when he is cute as hell," he said and looked at me.

I passed through my hair and looked at my roommate. "Seriously Kyungsoo?" I asked. "You are falling for Jongin?"

"Well who isn't?" he looked at everyone, but we all just stared at him back like he came from another planet. "Ah come on. Look at him... He is hot, tall, strong, he looks like angels made everything on him by themselves... Like how did God even allow a perfect human being like that to stand on the Earth? And he has a nice personality which gives him many extra points."

"Personality?" Minseok asked. "He wants to end you on today's match!" 

"Well for difference from that major Park, who is just a strict, annoying trainer, who doesn't know how to smile..." he explained.

"But seriously, has anyone seen him smile?" Jinki asked. "When we have trainings, he never shows any feelings... Did you also notice it, Baekhyun?"

"I've seen him smile," I replied. 

"Immpossible...!" Kyungsoo said. "Did it last for five seconds or more?"

I thought about the moments I saw major Park smile, but couldn't find any where the smile would last longer than a few seconds. "Not really...." I confessed. "Anyway it doesn't matter."

"Yeah, lets just go to that damn training, so I will be able to see Jongin again."

"Oh come on, Kyungsoo! Can you stop talking about him? It is making me uncomfortable..."

"Whatever you want," he smiled with his heart shapped lips and walked away. "I still think he is y!" 

Jongin was right about the training with the general. Four of the units were gathered together, everyone was a freshman and I could guess that we would be separated in two groups.

"Welcome, everyone!" general Oh called and every unit stepped together in front of him. "I guess you already know me... " he continued.  "Let me introduce myself to the ones, who has spent those two weeks under a rock! I am general Oh Sehun and I am your trainer just for today! " he checked every group with his look and then carried on with his speech.

I hadn't really heard much about general Oh until now. I just knew he was something like general Kim's assistant when it came to leading this campus. I probably just wasn't enough focused to hear more about him, or maybe I was just one of those students who had been living under a rock until now. 

"As you probably already know, you will have today's training here!" he continued the speach. 

I looked around just like all others. We were outside of the campus in a small village, which probably didn't have more than ten or fifteen houses. It was obviously that people used to live there, but now it looked more or less abandoned and empty, probably because it was now part of the university and intented for trainings like that.

"You will be separated in two groups. Unit A1 and A3 against A2 and A4!" He said. 

I caught Kyungsoo's look. We were in separated groups. I smiled to him, but got ignored, because Kyungsoo looked at the front of my unit, where Jongin was standing.

I rolled my eyes and focused on other things, more important at that moment. I couldn't believe Kyungsoo would fall for someone like Jongin, just because he was hella y. I would get it if he actually knew Jongin, since he was a good guy, but it still felt a bit wrong. 

"Everyone will get a gun!" general Oh said.

"Real one?" someone from Kyungsoo's unit called.

General stepped closer and took one example of a weapon from the box. I remembered these from my detention. I had seen that kind of guns in the room where I had had to work extra, because of major Park. 

"What is your name?" General asked. 

"Xiu Luhan," the boy said. I didn't know him very well, since he wasn't in my unit, but Kyungsoo had mentioned him a couple of times. 

"Well Luhan, The chargers in guns aren't real, so you can't actually hurt or kill anyone!" general explained. "You are our students and it is our responsibility to keep you all alive in one piece! If you want to know what happens if you get shot, please step forward and I will show you!" he looked at the boys, but no one raised voice or stepped forward.

"No one? Not even you Luhan?" he asked.

No reply. 

"Well you will have plenty of time to find out how it feels later... And I guarantee you, that it isn't a nice feeling!" he explained and continued with more rules. 

After general stopped talking everyone got a gun and extra chargers in case we ran out of them.

I put on some sets of protection over my usual uniform, to prevent gunshots. My pockets were stuffed with extra charges and a smaller hand gun, also with fake charges. I also got a bottle of water, in case I needed something to drink while running. 

"Well, well... " Kyungsoo said and I looked at him while still getting ready. 

"Don't talk to me, you are my enemy now." I said. 

"Okay then, I dare you..." he laughed. "Whoever gets shot first is a loser!"

"You are daring me?" 

"I thought you like dares... You won against major Park,"

"Don't mention him, it is annoying!" 

"Okay, will you accept the dare or are you too afraid of losing?"

I thought about it. I was actually pretty good at using a gun, because I could completely calm myself down and make my arms still for a perfect shot, but using that skill in a battle was something else. "Deal!" I said after some time and Kyungsoo smiled. 

"Great, you are already dead!" he walked away to his group.

General Oh sent my group to the other side of the village and I could see that there were other trainers around who were probably there to control and watch what was happpening in the battle ground.

We waited for a sign which would announce the start of their gamre.

"If you see anyone from the other team, just aim and try to shoot them!" Jongin suggested while they were waiting. "No hesitating or waiting!" 

"I won't be able to get any good shot," one of the members from unit A1 cried. I didn't know him, but he probably wasn't really good at using weapon, since he complained about it like that. 

"Then ambush and try to use your fists," Jongin looked at him. 

"That is actually a good idea,"

"Yeah, just try not to get shot first... I guess it would be annoying. Well I hope we will win and if we don't-" A loud gun shot interrupted Jongin who started complaining, because it ended his speech. 

The game had started and all 24 soldiers ran in different directions. Some went to the same way in smaller groups, but I was soon running alone. 

I was looking for my targets, hiding around the empty and old houses and trees. I noticed that most doors, windows and other entrences to the houses were broken and destroyed. Many units must have had battles here before and I wasn't sure how serious this all could get. General said no one would get killed or seriously hurt, so I tried to stay calm.

First gunshots. It was far away from me and my way was still clear. I was afraid that the match would end before I could even get one shot.

"Where the hell is everyone?" I asked mysef.

I heard more gun shots from other side, but still didn't want to expose myself too much. I walked to one of the houses and climbed upstairs. There was a room on the top. It was almost empty. Old and a bit destroyed furniture was inside. I just focused on the window, from which I had a view on a road underneath.

I suddenly saw someone wearing a blue mark on a uniform, which meant he was from the other team.

I aimed through the window. The man was tall and strong, probably one of the best soldiers in the other group and I had a good chance to get him out of the game. 

I pressed on the trigger and the guy suddeny fell to the ground. He shauted in pain while holding his leg, where he got shot. I looked out and then ran downstairs, to see how I had done my work. 

", this actually hurts!" man cried as I came closer. 

"Sorry, man," I said and shot again. 

He cursed at me, but I just ran away. I looked at my gun. This was more serious than I thought it would be and I definetly didn't want to get shot. 

A few more soldiers from other group came to my way, but I didn't have much trouble against them, because I knew how to hide and attack from the ambush, just like Jongin had recommended.

I went on. Next person I saw was Kyungsoo, hiding behind some planks and aiming with his gun directly into me.

I jumped away in horror before Kyungsoo could shoot me and hid behind the nearest tree. My breathing was fast and I wished I had a better hiding spot. I looked in Kyungsoo's direction and heard another shot. It was Kyungsoo, but he missed. 

I tried to cover myself, but the tree was just too small, even though I wasn't big.

Kyungsoo prepared for the next shot with his evil smile, but something took his attention. His eyes opened widely and in the next moment a gun shot got him on the ground.

I was shocked. I looked around and tried to see what had just happened. Kyungsoo was cursing on the ground, when another bullet hit him and he ended up just lying on the ground motionless, like he had lost his cobnsciousness. 

I suddenly felt how someone tapped my shoulder. "You all right Baekhyun?" Jongin's voice from behind took the breath out of me. He looked unharmen and proud. There was a big smile on his face like he was enjoying all that. 

"That was my roommate," I replied.

"Oh, I don't care," Jongin giggled and jumped. "He looked like he was about to kill you, so I decided to end him first. I promised that at the breakfast before anyway." 

"Yeah, I remember," I smiled. 

"Is he so quiet, because he can deal with a pain so well, or did I actually end him?" 

"I... I don't know..." I said. 

"Well I have work!" He smiled and turned the gun in his hand "I need to be better than Minho. I won't let that giant to be a captain!" 

"I am going with you!" I stopped him before he left.

Being next to someone like Jongin was making me more comfortable, so I wanted to keep him close. We didn't even look at Kyungsoo who still hadn't moved at all. I didn't worry too much for him, since he was tough and strong. 

I was following Jongin like a little puppy. I was looking around to find anyone, but Jongin's warning came before I actually wanted it.

"FIRE, BAEKHYUN!" he called, when we came to a place, where more of soldiers of both groups were fighting. We both started shooting and some of the soldiers fell to the ground. 

I ran to the side and hid behind a short wall, where I could aim on others from distance. I waited for the moment and got ready to shoot a soldier from the other group. I was following him as he moved.

"Byun, what are you doing?" I heard a loud and deep voice coming from somewhere behind me. 

I turned around and saw major Park standing outside of the village, looking over a metal fence to my direction. The look on his face was serious as always. He was wearing a black uniform and his hair were messed in the wind. He was probably one of the trainers, who had to be there and look after us while we had a game. "Will you just stand there or fight?!" he called again. 

I raised my eyebrows, but in the next moment I felt pain in my leg. I fell to the ground and shauted. The pain spreaded all over my body. Burning and cutting like a knife. Thousands of burning knives. 

I rolled to the side and looked at major on the other side. He was laughing. It was the first time I had actually seen him laugh, but I didn't like it. 

If I hadn't been distracted, I would have been able to continue the game. 

I pulled myself up, but then another bullet hit me. I cursed and collapsed down. I could see major Park leaving the place where he had been standing before.

The pain was worse than I had expected, and it was getting even stronger every second. I kept inside and tried to stay quiet. I was waiting for the match to end and on my luck it didn't take too long.

He heard the last gun shot, a sign from general Oh, announcing the end of our battle. 

Others helped me to get up and get rid of the pain which the bullets caused. After some time my legs and body were still in pain, but I could walk normally like nothing had happened.

It took a little longer for Kyungsoo to get better, because he had hit his head after falling down.

"Do you feel better now?" I asked him.

"Baekhyun, I feel so good!!!" he replied and I looked at him surprised. He didn't look good. His face was dirty and he had to hold a cool, wet compresses on his head where he had hit himself.

"You feel great after you lost your consciousness, after getting shot first and after your group lost?" I asked. "You are double loser,"

"I don't care about that," he said with a smile. "It was Jongin who shot me."

"And....?" 

"It wasn't just a shot..." he said with excitement. "...it was the love shot!!!" 

"You look creepy!" I said. "Please say you aren't serious with that, you hit your head just to well!" 

"Ahhhh, did you see how hot he looked when he shot me. His look- wahhh he could have killed me just by looking at me!" he continued and ignored me completely. 

"You have no ideas what you are taliking... Are you drunk?"

"Not yet... But yeah I could get drunk just by looking at Jongin!" he said said and I looked at him confused.

"What do you mean not yet? You going somewhere?" I asked and glared at him.

My roommate looked at me like I had come from another planet. "Don't you have any social life?" he asked. "There is a party this night!"

"Party?"

"Do you even have a life, Baekhyun? Yeah a party. Most of the students go to parties like that in the town and you will go with me of course! I thought I mentioned it before..." 

"No, you never mentioned," I sighed. "And I am not going-" 

"Of course you are going! Who else will go with me?! Anyway you should have some fun... just look at yourself. You look like someone drove over you! You need it," 

"You are saying I look bad?" 

"Yep, that's what I mean," my friend replied completely unbothered.

"Don't lie, I look better than you in that moment and you actually just need me to carry you back here, after you get drunk!" 

"No, you won't have to do that because I'm gonna be with Jongin," He said and smirked at me.

I just stared at him completely frozen. "You can't," I said. "Do you mean like.... You will be with him..." 

"Is there anything wrong if I want to make out with Jongin?" he asked. 

"Well yeah, you don't even know him well... You can't do it!" 

"Of course I can," insisted Kyungsoo.

"You can't be with him drunk!" I looked around confused. I tried to block all of the memories from the parties I had been at. All the trouble that this had caused to my life. My heart was beating fast and I had to do something about it. 

"Why not?" Kyungsoo asked and I got focused on him again. 

"You know.... I'm actually going! But just to make sure you don't do stupid stuff," I said. 

"Then I don't want you with me anymore!" 

"Too late. You aren't going alone," I walked away to avoid the conversation with Kyungsoo. 

I had never liked parties. It was too noisy and crouded for my taste, but since Kyungsoo wanted to get drunk and be crazy all night, I couldn't just watch and do nothing. 

End of my third year of high school was the last time I had gone to a bigger party. There had been many young teenagers, who had just ended next school year. Girls and boys, all excited and happy. My old friend had been there as well. I hadn't seen them and I didn't want to see them. Not after they had decided to exclude me from their company because some things had changed. 

I had never imagined what would have happened on that day and I wanted to forget all, even though I couldn't even remember much of it. The pain that had came and followed. After that day things had gotten worse and worse for me every day, which literally destroyed me and my life, which I had imagined before the party.

When Kyungsoo told me to get ready after our last training, I had no ideas what exactly he meant with that.

I spent my time reading a book, while he was taking a shower and getting prepared for the night.

I enjoyed the time I had for himself. Alone. Nobody was around who would bother or hurt me, until Kyungsoo returned back when it was already late and dark.

"I'm done!" my friend shauted and made a spin in front of me. 

"The hell happened to you?" 

His outfit and different look shocked me. He was wearing black pants, a dark T-shirt with white writing "Reaper of Men" and a black leather jacket. He also had make-up on and his hair made up. He didn't look like the Kyungsoo I had known, so I just stared at him with mouth open.

"Baekhyun, why aren't you ready?!" he asked. I couldn't speak for a moment and just let out clumsy "I- uhhh- I- a-" 

"You aren't thinking about going like that, are you?" he asked and pinted at me, because I was still wearing my training uniform. 

"I- I- I don't know- Actually I don't have anything bett-" 

"You aren't going like that!" Kyungsoo interupted me. "Come, let's see what suits you," he started to look for clothes in his wardrobe. 

"Kyungsoo, where did you get all this?" 

"Ohhhh, just brought most here with me." he smiled and pointed to his clothes and some make-up. "You know for opportunities like today!" he said like it was a normal thing to do.

"Is that normal?"

"Well yeah, I usually just wear dark clothes, because they suit me and I don't really like a lot of colours...."

"No, I am not talking about the colour..." I said. "Can we have all that stuf here in the campus?"

"It doesn't mean we can't wear something a little more fashionable, when we go out," he explained. "You need to learn how to live."

"I am living my own life," I crossed my arms.

"Yeah your boring and depressed life, closed and limited on reading books alone in darkness and using your phone all day when you get it in your hand,"

"I... It is my life and I do other stuff. I won our bet today!"

"That doesn't matter! You won, because the sun blinded me completely,"

"You lost, because Jongin shot you,"

"Yeah, that is waht I said," he agreed. "Jongin is my sun,"

I sighed and rolled with my eyes. "Just give me something and let's go!" I gave up

"Baekhyun, I won't give you my clothes until you take a shower? This training clothes can't be clean for sure... And I bet you aren't as well!" he continued.

I tried to complain, but at the end agreed and went to take a shower. When I returned Kyungsoo had a mountain of clothes prepared for me and I had no ideas where they came from.

"Here try these!" he said and gave me a pair of shiny dark pants.

I tried them on, but my roommate told him to take them off. The clothes were right size, but Kyungsoo just couldn't decide which would look better on me.

After a long period of changing clothes Kyungsoo finally decided.

"Perfect!" he called and clapped with his hands, proud of what he did.

I was wearing black pants, which were ripped all the way on my tighs and knees, some fabric hanging off and exposing my white tighs to cold air. I had black Nike shoes. On top I had a black shirt without sleves which showed all the features of my body and over it a dark and bigger shirt, which was so thin, I could see through it. Over everything I had a black lustrous jacket.

For a moment Kyungsoo just stared at me with his plump lips in a wide smile, but then went to work again.

"Sit here. There is more to do," he told and placed me on a chair in our room. He pulled out sets of his make-up and started to chose the best thing to put on my face.

I looked at my face in a mirror, after Kyungsoo had done with his work. 

"Your opinion?" he asked and I just stared at my reflection like it was first time seeing myself.

"I... I don't know" I answered. Black eyeliner that was around my eyes didn't bother me much, since it actually looked good. Dark shadows and a little of bright lipstick on my lips also looked nice, but I almost couldn't recognise myself. 

"Can I just do something with your hair now?" asked Kyungsoo, but he was already working on them, before I could have said 'no'.

"WOW, Baekhyun you look gorgeous! If Jongin wasn't somewhere there, I'd totally go with you!" he said happily.

"You would get rejected," I replied and looked at my new hairstyle. My blonde hair, which had been in total mess before, were now covering my forehead which made me look even smaller.

"Your problem," Kyungsoo replied angry. "Ahhh whatever, let's go. I spent a whole hour making you, I can't belive we are still here! I blame you for being late and slow!"