I want you to be happy. I really do. But, I didn’t realise that your happiness did not include me. I did not realise how much it would hurt me when facing this fact.

You say I am a nice person, too nice for my own good. But I just don’t see it. You say that if you say then you will feel trapped, dissatisfied, unhappy. But if you leave I will be devastated, broken, helpless. I want you to be happy, but I cannot let you witness my breakdown. The depth and passion of my love for you is reflected in the pain that I am experiencing during the countless restless night that I spend without you.

But my dear, is my pain and agony worth your happiness?

I have lost you, yet I cannot avoid you. Will I ever be able to stand next to you without my heart bleeding? Will I ever be able to earnestly smile in your presence? Will I have the strength, the motivation, the concentration to treat you like a familiar stranger?

I am suffocating. I cannot breath. I just want to rip my heart directly out of my chest. I do not want this. I do not want any of this. I do not want to go through all this. Please, be merciful and let me go. Please, be kind and alleviate me from this agony.