Wonwoo huddled in the corner of the recording studio. He shared it with the other artists on level five but Lee Seokmin was on tour and Nu'est were on hiatus so he basically had it to himself. He had spent the last three months making it his sanctuary. His safe haven away from the pressures of his upcoming debut. Wonwoo just wanted to make music. He wanted to sing and dance and rap. He didn't want to be interviewed or photographed or styled. He hated being observed like a fish in an aquiarium. He hated everything about it. He just wanted to be himself.

Managers came and went. He wasn't busy enough yet to warrant both a manager and an assistant so he was constantly caught in a cycle of being thrown into close contact with someone, one person, he didn't know. They never stayed long enough for him to get comfortable with them. He never got to know any of them. They never got to know him. The real Wonwoo. He hid his anxieties and his inadequacies behind a gruff demeanour. He never had the right words. Sometimes he tried to avoid speaking at all. He knew how he came across. He couldn't help it. He saved all his energy for when he really needed to fake it. He called it wearing his mask.

When he went in for meetings with those who mattered he needed to wear his mask. He put it on, smiled politely and vacantly, and shrank back into his shell when it was over. It was all he knew. He played it up for those who mattered. He didn't bother with anyone else. They didn't care anyway. They didn't care about the real Wonwoo.

Soon people around Pledis stopped bothering. They stopped trying to talk to him, they stopped smiling at him, they stopped looking at him. Wonwoo was happy. It was easier this way. His anxiety levels stayed low when he didn't have to bother. All except for him. He never stopped. He always smiled, he always said hello and tried to make conversation with his thick honey voice, he always looked at Wonwoo with that big dopey grin on his face. Wonwoo didn't even know his name. He was tall, even taller than Wonwoo's own 6ft height, and was the most handsome man Wonwoo had ever seen. He had dark hair and smooth honey coloured skin and his smile radiated from within like the glow of a full moon. His friendliness was unstoppable and irrepressible. He was like a giant puppy, always laughing loudly and grinning at everyone, including Wonwoo. Every time he smiled at him Wonwoo wanted desperately to smile back. To chat with him, laugh at whatever was making him laugh, let him know somehow that he was sweet and cute and funny.

No matter how much Wonwoo wanted it, he couldn't make it happen, no matter how hard he tried. His jaw would stiffen, his hands would sweat, and he knew his voice would waver. Instead of saying hello, smiling back, he would just turn and walk away. Walking away was safer. Wonwoo couldn't risk getting hurt. He couldn't risk being laughed at or scrutinised by this mysterious, beguiling, intoxicating man. It would break him.

Wonwoo watched him covertly wherever he went. You could always spot him, a half a head taller than every crowd, his shining eyes always caught somewhere between a smile and outright laughter. He usually ate lunch with another boy, one who was also handsome and happy, but didn't capture Wonwoo with the same appeal. There was only one person in his eyes. It hurt him to see them together every day, joking and chatting, enjoying lunch together. Wonwoo would give anything to be that other boy, the one making the dark haired angel laugh, the one sharing his conversation and his jokes and his fries.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter