The pain that I feel was too much. I thought that the treatment mean to cure but all I can feel was totally pure torture for me. If this continued, I really want to stop the treatment.

 Although I can feel the pain because the disease disappear even for a bit but the exhaustion from the treatment was great. Thanks to my full stamina I can get over it.

   “Changmin! Focus on music! Where your mind floating? You just make a mistake!”

I step back into reality and confounded as my members look at me. I let out my cheeky grinned and bow to them. I notice Yoochun hyung was pale.

Poor him, it must be hard day for him. We already practice for five hours and rest only ten minutes. Glad until this time, I manage to hide the tiredness from my hyung. I am an excellent actor right?

   “Yoochun hyung, are you all right? Can we start the practice again?” I mention Yoochun hyung, asking him either he still can continue the practice or not.

He just nodded and catching his breath again. Suddenly my phone ringing and I jerked because of shocked. I bet the call from my doctor. Without wasting any time before someone pick it for me I run to my phone and yes, I was right.

 I look at my hyungs and note that they can start to practice without me first. Then, I walked out form the room and heading to toilet, I afraid that people might hear me.

   “Hello, Mr Shim. It’s me Dr Lee. Sorry for disturbing you. I want to know your decision about the treatment whether you…”

   “NO.”

 I cut off his words.

   “I don’t want to continue the treatment anymore! It was burdening my career. For this time, I just want to continue with medicine only. I hope you understand me.”

   “Okay, I understand this. As your doctor, I strongly recommended you to continue the therapy but yeah, as you want that. I did not have any argument as you are an adult and you can make you decision by your own. But in one condition, you have to come for check up and take the medicine supply.”

   “As long as I did not have to endure the treatment torture then yes. Whatever the result, I will be healthy again and I hope there is another way other than having chemo.”

   “Well, chemotherapy is important too. For this time, you may skip it but when your conditions become worse you have to take the treatment this….”

   “AS I SAY NO MEANS NO!”

I cut off the conversation and hit the red button on my phone. It’s almost 3 am and why he still calling me at this time? Maybe he was in hospital and in his work hour. I mess up my hair and bit my lips. This can’t be true. I will not take the treatment anymore. I really hope what happen now was a dream.

*Junsu POV*

Why it took so long for Changmin to finish up his phone conversation? I guess it was an important thing. If not why he look nervous while answer the call and avoiding us from hearing it. Well, I hope the problem was not big. That maknae like to hide stuff from us.

We still continue our practice until Changmin return with his pouted mouth. I guess he was hungry again. Yunho signaled to stop the music as he noticed Yoochun stuffy breathing.

I knew this is not good. Yoochun, without think any longer sedimented and catching his breath harshly and I can hear the high pitch wheezing sound very clearly out from his breathe. Changmin, with a shock and concern glare quickly Yoochun backpack to find his inhaler.

Jaejoong, Yunho and I approached him and his bed and chest simultaneously, hoping for the air to come in.

   “I….. didn’t….. bring… my……. Inhaler….” He said with stuck voice and panted.

   “Chunnie/hyung!” Changmin and I half scream outright with a stern voice.

How can he forget to bring his own medicine? In this season, he should take care of himself and always bring the medicine.

 I mumbled under my breath and help him to stand up. Luckily, our manager had something urgent to do and he is not here around so we can do anything we want.

   “Come, I’ll drive you to hospital.” Yunho hyung offered.

Other than Jaejoong hyung, Yunho hyung is the one who take cares of the member a lots too. Like a father.

Cassiopeias always related them as our parents. And yes, they did their role very excellent. Yunho hyung piggyback Yoochun who now look blue and Jaejoong hyung hurriedly went to start the car engine.

Changmin and I busy to take our backpack and our personal stuff. It’s 3 am now and we have to lock this room by our own.

The journey takes about 10 minutes. I’m so worry about Yoochun who seems suffocating minutes by minutes. He just closed his eyes and I saw he almost cried.

It must be hurt a lot, having your oxygen short and limited.

 As soon as we reach the hospital, Yoochun quickly went to the treatment. 

   “Changmin, go accompany Chunnie hyung please? Yunho and I must settle the things with the doctor. Just wait there okay? Junsu, go buy some food and drinks, I guess we all hungry and need some drinks.”

After Jaejoong hyung give me the money, I nodded and headed to the 24 hours shop while Changmin obediently went to Chunnie’s room.

*Changmin POV*

Chunnie hyung pabo! Why he forgot to bring his medicine and now stuck in this hospital. Well, I hope after he got the nebulizer treatment we can return home quickly.

Suddenly I have urged to thrown up. It must be the effect of the chemo. I went to the toilet and thrown up, nonstop makes my energy quickly drained.

I panted and blink my eyes rapidly as the dizziness came. I stumbled and lean back on the wall. Am I had to going through all this? I shook my head rapidly and washed my face then slowly heading to Chunnie hyung’s ward.

I open the door slowly and I saw Yoochun hyung sleeping with oxygen mask attached on his face. He looked so calm and his breath was clear.

The darkness started to invade me. I lean on the wall again, pressed my eyes shut and try to make the headaches and exhaustion away. My head started to spinning, I clenched my hand to head and let out a soft whimper.

‘Click’

The door was open and Junsu hyung came in with two plastic bags. I let off my hand from my head straightaway and look at him.

   “Changmin-ah.. how is Chunnie?” Junsu hyung ask me. Glad that he didn’t notice the pain that I sense earlier.

His face was blurry.

   “A..ah I don’t know. Jaejoong and Yunho hyung is still with the doctor.”

   “Oh really? Hm.. I hope he was fine.”

He put the plastic on the table. The headaches and darkness possessed me, this time I can’t handle it. My legs become numb and I collapsed on the cold, hard floor.

Hello dear friends~~ ^^- Here an update for you guys~ Thanks for the new reader and new subscriber, do comments ne ^^- Yeah, this story is an angsty I can't help but love and decide to write it hehe, I hope you like this updated ^^- Do anticipating for what happening next! haha~Do comments ya. I receive comments from you guys and I feel lot happy! Thanks for commenting! *hugs* Anyway, have a nice day and do enjoy Still W! *bow*