It's Time to Talk

A Fangirl's Dream

*Carolyn’s POV*

Dinner that night was awkward. Most of us didn’t talk. Jonghyun didn’t even come down for dinner. He just stayed shut in his room.

Taemin and Nicole talked and joked around, along with Minho and Rebecca and Key and Brianna.

Why is Nicole being so nice to him these days?

I was still pissed at Taemin, yet I still cared about him so much.

Fine; if he’s going to make me jealous, then I get to make him jealous too.

“Hey Onew,” I smiled at the surprised boy next to me.

He turned to look at me, much like this (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_B6cFYaYtnaw/TRCWJEzd9BI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/CLsJCU0-FOg/s1600/252612_o.gif).

“How are you doing? I feel like we never get a chance to talk,” I said flirtily, while resting a hand on his arm.

“Um, I’m fine?” he answered.

“Well that’s good,” I smiled. “You know, we really should hang out more often.”

“Why is that?” he asked, a weird expression still claiming his face.

“Because you’re really cool, and I think we’d get along very well.”

*Taemin’s POV*

Oh HECK no!

“Come on Nicole, let’s go up to my room so I can show you that thing I wanted to show you,” I said, taking her by the arm.

“But, you didn’t want to show me anything,” she said innocently.

“Well I have something to show you now,” I winked.

“I love you Onew!” Carolyn shouted out of nowhere.

She grabbed Onew’s face and pulled it toward her own, smashing her lips against his.

*Onew’s POV*

Is everyone TRYING to ruin my life?! What the heck is so addicting about my lips?!

“Get off!” I shouted, pushing Carolyn away.

She looked up at me with hurt eyes.

Why do I always end up looking like the jerk? Why?!

Suddenly Taemin went running out of the room. We heard the front door slam.

“I’ll go get him,” I said, hurrying after the maknae. I needed an excuse to get out of there anyway.

I found him sitting on the front steps of the mansion. I sat down next to him.

“Hyung,” he said as a tear fell down his cheek. “I want you to know that I have no hard feelings toward you. It was all Carolyn.”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” I said, wrapping him in a hug.

“I just don’t understand why she’s acting like this. Today she told me I was fired from being her boyfriend. What does that even mean?!”

“Maybe she’s just going through something,” I suggested as I held him close.

Taemin was like a little brother to me. I hated seeing him in pain like this; it broke my heart.

“Do you think that’s it?” he asked, looking up at me with tearstained eyes.

“I’m sure it is. Now why don’t you run along to bed? I’m sure everything will be better in the morning.”

“Thank you, hyung,” he said before heading into the house.

Now it’s time I have a little chat with this Carolyn of his…

I stopped in the doorway of the kitchen and everybody went silent.

“Carolyn, can I talk to you for a second?” I asked.

“Um, okay,” she said nervously.

I led her outside to the steps where Taemin and I had just been sitting a few minutes ago.

“What’s going on?” I asked. “Why are you acting like this to Taemin?”

“If he has the right to break my heart, then I have the right to break his!” she pouted.

“What do you mean-,”

“I saw him and Nicole together; laughing and having a great time. I can’t believe he’d go behind my back like that.”

“But that’s just it; he DIDN’T go behind your back! When are you all going to realize that Nicole is the problem here? She’s messing up everything! Taemin doesn’t like her Carolyn; he loves YOU.”

She looked up at me in disbelief.

“Does he really?”

“Of course! I’ve never seen him this upset over someone before. You mean more to him than anyone in the world.”

“Ohhh, what am I going to do now?!”

“Well, you can start by explaining to him why you were acting this way tomorrow morning, and see where that takes you.”

“You know what? I can’t wait for tomorrow; I’m going to go tell him right now! Thank you, Onew,” she said giving me a great big hug. “You’re so good at helping people!”

I stayed outside on the steps for a little while longer, thinking over everything that had happened tonight.

I’m glad I could help them… even if I can’t help myself. 

 

 

 

*Shoutout to KhKheiselle0901! They earned you this update with a comment! Where I am from it is midnight now, so this concludes me 1 comment = 1 update spree. Hope you guys enjoyed today's chapters!(: Love you all<3

 

 

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~