K9 Chemistry

A Fangirl's Dream

*Taemin’s POV*

Why does she keep looking at me?

I glanced over at Carolyn, just in time to see her darting her eyes away from me. I felt uncomfortable; self-conscious. I looked back down at the puppy I’d been petting through the metal bars.

I took Carolyn to the ASPCA because I loved looking at the cute animals. I felt sorry for them. They had been abandoned, left for dead. I wanted to take them all home, but I knew that wasn’t going to fly; especially with Key.

“Aren’t they cute?” I giggled as the puppy nibbled on my finger.

“They’re adorable!” Carolyn exclaimed, smiling over at me.

She looked really pretty today; not that this was a bad thing. Her long red hair flowed nicely over her shoulders, and her eyes seemed to sparkle more than usual.

“I think this guy wants to go for a walk,” I said, tickling the puppy’s stomach.

“Let’s do it!”

We smiled at each other before finding a worker to get the puppy ready for us.

------------------------- 

“Here,” I said, handing the leash over to Carolyn. “Do you want to walk him for a little bit?”

“Sure,” she smiled and took the leash from my hands.

Why did I just get butterflies when our hands touched?

*Carolyn’s POV*

We walked along talking in casual conversation for a while, stopping whenever the dog reached a tree so he could do his business.

“Gosh, this dog pees a lot!” I complained. I blushed when I realized what I’d said.

“Bahaha, I know right! You’d think he’d be all dried up by now!”

“Hahaha, he’s lifting his leg, but nothing’s coming out!”

We curled over in laughter as the dog just looked up at us innocently and barked, causing us to fall to the ground in laughter.

“Oh, gosh, that’s priceless,” I said as our laughter finally died down and Taemin offered me a hand up.

“Haha, yea-,” he stopped as he yanked me up off the ground, pulling me face to face with him.

He stared into my eyes and I stared back. I thought about this morning. I had been in this same situation with Key just hours ago, and I’d slipped out of it. Now, I didn’t want the moment to end. There was just something about Taemin that made my heart flutter.

“Um, I think it’s time to take the dog back,” Taemin whispered.

He began to take a step back, but then I did something that I knew I’d either love or regret after. I grabbed Taemin’s shoulders, pulling him in, and pressed my lips against his.

“Carolyn!” Taemin exclaimed, pulling back.

I looked down at my shoes in shame.

“I-I’m sorry Taemin.”

“No; it’s okay- I mean… I just thought you liked Key.”

“So did I, but when he tried to kiss me this morning, I… well you heard the scream and my ‘fall.’” I did air quotes as I said the word.

“But why?” Taemin asked, confusion filling his face.

“Because I like someone else; a different man.”

“Oh,” Taemin said, looking away from me. “Then why’d you kiss me?” He turned back to face me straight on.

“Because… that man is you, Taemin,” I look down and my cheeks grew bright red as I said it.

“Y-you think I’m a man?!”

His face lit up as I nodded in reply.

“So um, does this mean you don’t mind me doing this?” he asked, taking my hand in his.

“Nope,” I smiled.

“Or this?” he moved in closer to me.

“Haha, no,” I giggled.

“Or this…”

His smiling lips met mine. 

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~