Make Up, Shake Up, Break Up

A Fangirl's Dream

*Rebecca’s POV*

“Ow,” I winced as Onew dabbed around my eye with a cool cloth.

“Mianhe,” he bit his bottom lip then continued to dab.

“Onew,” I said, taking his hand and lowering it, along with the cloth, from my face. “I think it’s clean,” I laughed.

“Right, um ice pack!”

He hurried off to the kitchen, but was back in the blink of an eye with a cold ice pack wrapped in a washcloth.

“Here, put this on it,” he said, handing it to me.

I gently rested in on my blackened eye. Onew examined the rest of my face, arms and bare skin for any other marks.

“Jinki, really; I’m fine,” I said, pulling away. “I just got in the way. If it wasn’t for me this fight wouldn’t have even happened in the first place.”

“Don’t say that sweetheart,” Onew sat down on the couch next to me and slipped his hand into mine. Aigoo, did I love when he called me sweetheart! “It wasn’t your fault. Jonghyun shouldn’t have gotten involved, and Minho shouldn’t have messed with your feelings again.” He gave me a soft peck on the cheek.

“Onew, you’re so perfect; you know that?”

He smiled, “I love you yebo. I’ll always take care of you.”

After a few more minutes of small kisses and Onew playing with my hair, I finally spoke up. “Onew, I need to go make things right.”

“What do you mean?” he questioned, twirling one of my dark locks around his finger and giving it a soft tug so it bounced due to curliness.

“Because of me a wall has been driven between SHINee. I’ve ruined something amazing for so many people. I can’t let this happen knowing it’s all my fault.”

“Rebecca, I think it’d be best if you and the other girls had a girl’s night in tonight. I’ll take the boys some place where we can work all this out. You won’t have to worry about anything,” he smiled reassuringly.

“But opp-,”

“No buts. You just rest and I’ll gather everybody else and tell them the plan. Aigoo, I guess this trip was pretty dangerous, what with Carolyn on crutches and you now with a black eye.”

“And you with all your Onew conditions,” I giggled, taking his face in my hands and pulling it close to mine.

“Saranghae,” he smiled back.

“Saranghae.” We shared one more long, sweet kiss before he finally got up to organize everything, leaving me to rest on the couch with my best friends: Black Eye and Ice Pack.

*Taemin’s POV*

I couldn’t believe how calm and collected Onew hyung was. After all that had happened, he personally came to each of us and told us tonight’s plan. There was no backing out. When hyung said we were having therapeutic SHINee time, we were having therapeutic SHINee time.

We took a rental car; Onew driving, Jonghyun shotgun, then Minho, Key and I in the backseat. I didn’t want to sit next to Minho, and thankfully I had Key umma wrapped around my finger so I didn’t have to. Minho had always been a hyung I admired deeply. But after this incident, I didn’t think I could ever view him the same.

We were in the middle of nowhere when Onew pulled the car to the side of the rode and told us to get out. Because of his stern and leading attitude, no one questioned why we were in the middle of a grassy field.

After walking a little ways from the road, Onew finally stopped and faced us. I stuck close to Key umma because the sun was setting and it was getting dark. I hate the dark; especially being outside in the dark. However, the lightning bugs reminded me of the camping trip with Carolyn, so I felt a little better.

“Okay, so… we have a problem,” Onew started once all of our attention was on him.

“No dip Sherlock,” Jonghyun mumbled.

“Oh I’m curious, yeah!” I sang, trying to lighten to mood. All I received were weak “For-the-maknae” smiles.

“Listen, I don’t want this to come between us. We all make mistakes, and I’m willing to forgive. It may take time and it may be painful, but our friendship is worth too much to lose over something like this,” Onew stated in a leader-like fashion. “Minho?”

Minho looked up at Onew cautiously with guilt and regret written all over his bruised and beaten face. It made me feel so sorry for him.

“What you did hurt me, and it hurt someone I care deeply about. I want you to know that what you did was not okay, but I am willing to forgive you to keep this team together, along with our friendship. You’re still my dongsaeng and I know we all make mistakes,” Onew stated.

“Thank you hyung,” Minho said, almost choking up. “I’m sorry.” He embraced the leader in a hug. Minho wasn’t a very emotional person. He rarely ever cries. However, I knew for a fact that I saw tears on his cheeks.

“Now Jonghyun,” Onew said once Minho and pulled away. “I appreciate your dedication to this team and your respect to me as a leader. However, what you did was way out of line.”

“I know hyung,” Jonghyun was already crying. Aigoo, I knew he would never stop. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to get like that. I was just so angry. You do so much for us…”

The two embraced in a hug.

“Now Taemin, Key; do you forgive them?” Onew questioned. We both said we did and it seemed all settled to me.

“We’re not done yet,” Onew warned. “Now it’s time for Minho and Jonghyun to apologize to each other.”

The two turned to each other, both avoiding eye contact.

“I’m sorry for being a jerk,” Minho said straightly. “I disappointed you all.”

“I forgive you. And I’m sorry for sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong… even though somebody had to,” Jonghyun whispered the last part.

“Excuse me?!” Minho’s eyes shot back up and he took a step toward the stupid dino.

“Guys! Seriously!” Onew stepped between them. “Jonghyun, do it right or don’t do it at all!”

“Okay, sorry,” he sighed.

“Don’t say sorry to me,” Onew advised. “Say sorry to Minho.”

“I’m sorry for being a jerk and a nosy person,” he said, looking straight at Minho.

“I forgive you,” the young, dark haired rapper said evenly.

“Now, does everybody forgive each other?” Onew made sure. We all said we did. “Good. Now let’s bring it in for a SHINee cheer.”

On the outside we looked like the five shining stars again, but on the inside I knew there was much more. This issue was deeper than just forgiving each other. I could almost feel Jonghyun’s resentment toward Minho. I just prayed that things would get better by the time we got back to Seoul.

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~