I Will Not Say Goodbye

A Fangirl's Dream

*Last day; saying goodbyes*

*Annie’s POV*

I eyed Vanessa out of the corner of my eye as we road to the hospital to say our final goodbyes to Minho before leaving for the airport. Because this was our last day I was afraid she’d try something on Jonghyun. I’d caught her eyeing him yesterday, but she stopped when she saw me and scurried away. I guess she was over the whole Onew thing since he was too busy comforting Rebecca, so I had even more reason to worry she’d come after Jonghyun again.

When we got to the hospital we found out that only three people could go in to see Minho at a time. The first group was Carolyn, Vanessa and I. Carolyn and I hugged him lightly and wished him well. Vanessa on the other hand squeezed the life out of him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to know you more Minho oppa! If we ever meet again we totallyyy should hang out. You’re really cute you kno-,” We had to pull her out of the room by the collar of her shirt. “Bye Minho oppa!”

*Brianna’s POV*

When Vanessa, Carolyn and Annie came back out into the waiting room, Rebecca and I stood up. I looked over at Nicole, but she just sat there with a blank expression on her face.

“Nicole it’s our turn,” I said.

She looked up at me solemnly. “I’m not going in.”

“But Nicole-,”

“It’s my decision okay?! And I don’t want to say goodbye. You guys go!” she looked away from us, shielding her face with her long, wavy hair.

I looked at Rebecca and she just shook her head and motioned for me to go with her to say goodbye. We followed the nurse down the hallway in silence until we came to Minho’s room. The head of his bed was raised so he was sitting up. The IV was still in his hand, but he looked a lot better and his fever was gone.

“It was nice meeting you Minho,” I smiled, giving him a hug. “Take care.”

“I will, thank you,” he smiled. “It was nice meeting you too.”

Rebecca approached him now, a tear sliding down her cheek.

“I’m sorry Minho,” she whispered.

“Don’t be,” he smiled, taking her hand. “It’s not your fault; I want you to know that. I’m just glad that you’re happy with Onew. As long as you’re happy I’m happy."

More tears poured out of her eyes as she bent down and hugged him close. “You’ve been such a good friend to me. Please get better.”

“I’ll be fine,” he laughed, hugging her back. “Where’s Nicole?”

Rebecca pulled away and wiped away some of her tears with her sleeve. “She didn’t want to come in.”

“But, I need to talk to her…”

“The visiting time is over,” a nurse interrupted us.

“Goodbye Minho,” Rebecca said, giving him one last peck on the cheek before walking with me out of the room.

I put an arm around her as we walked down the hall and she cried into her hands. My cousin is so emotional when it comes to goodbyes. It didn’t help that she still felt bad about Minho too.

We joined the others in the waiting room. Nicole was by the exit jumping uneasily from foot to foot.

“They’re here; let’s go,” she said as soon as she saw us and hurried out the door.

Rebecca immediately went to Onew who took her in his arms and comforted her, which really only made her cry harder.

“You okay?” Key asked, coming up to me and slipping his hand in mine. I nodded, staring into those cat-like eyes of his, knowing this was going to be one of the last times for a while.

We all left the hospital gloomily, but with the comfort of our beloved men. All, that is, besides Nicole and Vanessa. However, our happiness was short-lived because before we knew it we were at the airport.  

 

 

 

*I felt like doing a double update today. It's rainy here where I live so I got bored xD Hope you enjoy it!!^.^ And again, I want to thank you all for sticking with me and my story for this long! You guys mean the world to me<333 Saranghae and Kamsahamnida!!!<333

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Woobear27
Just letting those of you who are wondering that YES there WILL be a sequal to this story^.^ I am in the process of writing it right now!

Comments

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EHhyung
#1
Really nice story and I really love it so much
sinebright1095 #2
I love it :)
writerinprogress94
#3
Chapter 6: Second review of the day! Let's do this! Chapters 3-6, woo! (And this is why I shouldn't have caffine...)
I don't think I caught any spelling or grammar errors in the last 4 chapters. There might have been a few places where the wrong punctuation sign was used, but other than that, 9.5/10 on grammar and spelling.
I feel like there wasn't as much description in the last four chapters, but there was definately more dialogue so it balanced out. 8.5/10 on word choice.
Your sentence structure was still a bit choppy in places, but your transitions were flawless. You moved very smoothly from one chapter or POV to another. 9/10 on sentence structure and transitions.
The characters are filling out very nicely! 9/10
Continuation value?
...
...
... 80/100 :D
Now on to the next chapter!
writerinprogress94
#4
Chapter 2: seem a bit choppy. Maybe if they were combined...? Your transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and POVs were all "Sipjeom Manjeome Sipjeom!(10 out of 10)" Yay for 2PM reference :D
Dear lord, I've had to split this into 2 comments XP Me and my rambling...
Point #4~ Charcters! Any writer who's tried to write several OC's at once can appreciate the difficulty of having to give them each their own unique persona without making them a Mary-Sue. Even though by chapter two I've only seen your OC's a bit, they're all distinguishable from each other. I also think you're doing great on SHINee's POV's, too!
Final point~ Continuation value? (I believe I made up this phrase, but feel free to use it as long as you credit me XD)
In many longer stories, if by around the 5th to 10th I'm not enjoying it or interested for whatever reason, I'll stop reading. Your story, by chapter 2, is already at a 70/100 (which can drop or go up. I can already tell, though, that it'll be at least a 90/100 by the end!)
That's all until my next review! If these long reviews bother you, tell me and I'll shorten them :3
writerinprogress94
#5
Chapter 2: Even though the story is already completed, I'm still going to comment every few chapters. As an author I know how helpful feedback is!
First off, I don't think I caught any grammar or spelling mistakes in the last 2 chapters except for in Minho's POV in Chapter 1. You typed "Ewe, in a public restroom?" for Key's dialogue. "Ewe", spelled E-W-E, is a female sheep. Suggestions for the future or if you want to change it~ "Gross", "Nasty", "Disgusting", or simply "Ew"(sorry if I come across as a know-it-all, I don't try to XD). The only questionable thing is in the first sentence of Onew's POV in Chapter 2 you put "Her drooling words". Obviously I'm not all-knowing (who is, right?) so just because I don't know what that means doesn't mean it's wrong. Do you mean she's actually drooling? Could you clarify? I might want to use that word/phrase in the future, but I'd want to use it correctly! :3
Okay, now to the second point! Your word choice, which I mean by everything like your descriptions/imagery (like how the mansion was described during Key's POV in Captper 1; I don't know about you but writing the detailed descriptions is always the most tedious part of writing the story for me, so I applaud you! :D) to using words other than "said" for dialogue (one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves is when I find a story that has an amazing foreward, then I go to the first chapter and the whole thing is in "'Blah blah blah' said ___" format. Therefore, I really appreciate how you used things like *checks story quickly* "smiled"/"laughed"/"carried on"/etc.) That's really all I have to say on this point.
Point #3~ Sentence structure and segways/transitions between sentences and POVs! Over all in these first two chapters I'd give the sentence structure an 8.5/10. Some of the sentences just seemed a bit choppy. Like in Carolyn's POV in chapter 2 she says/thinks "Most people would've called it gay. I found it utterly attractive." The way they are now at the end of the paragraph they just
writerinprogress94
#6
I can't wait to read this! I listened to the piano cover while I read the opening and I swear I could actually see the whole thing! I can't wait to finish this story and head over to the sequel!
KhKheiselle0901 #7
Chapter 135: Welcome XD :D i just love this story..
EvrydayIsaShiningDay #8
Chapter 135: okay can i just say i was really confused when i saw that this was updates. xD same goes for the sequal. xD
danlyy
#9
That closure is so sad for minho...I suspect its Brianna who's become a black and red girl:/
CookieDookie #10
Ooh sequel :D
Can't wait ~