Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
-Lao Tzu 
 

CHAPTER 33

Yoona’s tears wouldn’t stop, her heart pounding so hard on her chest. She was seated on a small chair outside the emergency room, where Siwon lay, probably fighting for his dear life.

She came to the hospital right after Tiffany’s call. She had probably gone berserk if not for her aunt beside her, who constantly tried to calm her imbalanced soul, and drove her towards the hospital, despite the heavy downfall.

It had been Tiffany whom she saw first, her unni’s eyes red from crying. Her gaze darted then to the ER’s door, her head running wild as she pictured Siwon lying on the bed, soaked with blood...the thought shook her hard that her knees buckled. Tiffany caught her before she landed on the floor.

It had been four hours since then, and the door was still silent and cold and lifeless. No..my oppa will live..he had to..he promised me..he promised me that he will always be with me…she stifled a sob. Her aunt was soothing her with words she could not comprehend. It seemed like everything was a constant blur. She had lost her parents, Donghae…and now..no. God. Please. I beg you…

She gazed at Siwon’s mother, seated in between Eunhyuk and Tiffany. She wasn’t crying. She was just sitting there, immobile, and Yoona could not understand why. Is she that shocked? Or pained? That perhaps words had left her?

She unknowingly kept on staring at Mrs. Choi, and was slightly taken aback when the lady lifted her head and met her gaze. As Yoona stared at her eyes, she saw there, a grief she could probably never fathom for the rest of her life. She wasn’t crying, but she was in terrible pain, her heart and soul broken at the thought of her only son, her one remaining family, at the mercy of machines and white men.

The stare broke when the glass door opened to reveal a doctor whose clothes were covered with smudges of blood. Siwon’s blood. They all immediately stood up and met him.

“he’s out of danger” the doctor declared. He then smiled “the patient had suffered from severe injuries, enough to let those kill him. But he’s alive. It seemed that he was trying hard to stay alive.”

“oh..thank God..” Tiffany uttered, crying again. Everyone was crying now, even Eunhyuk. Mrs. Choi was crying too. Yoona took Mrs. Choi by the arms and hugged her. The two were crying in relief. Thank God…Thank you…

“when is he going to wake up?” Eunhyuk asked.

“in a day or two. He will be transferred to a private room later.” The doctor answered. He then spoke directly to Mrs. Choi. “I will have to speak to you privately. But for now, take a rest. I’ll just be in my office.”

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Yoona stared at Siwon lying on the hospital bed. He was severely bandaged in some parts of his body, the one on his head was smeared with blood. There were scratches and bruises on his face, his hands, his arms. Her heart ached at the sight. She was relieved, yes, but her heart still ached for him. If only..if only she could trade lives, she would gladly trade hers to Siwon.

“dear, I think we should go home. You need to rest.” Yoona’s aunt pleaded.

“no. I’ll stay here until he wakes up.” She declared strongly.

Her aunt sighed and sat back down, as the door opened. Mrs. Choi went inside, her face void of any emotion. She had been at the doctor’s office, and Yoona knew, as her heart ached once more, that Siwon’s condition might not be as well as the doctor had assured them to be.

Mrs. Choi sat down next to Siwon at the opposite side, and tenderly held her child’s hand. Her eyes were welling up with tears, Yoona was sure, but as she turned, she smiled brightly at Yoona.

Yoona smiled back. She wanted to ask, she wanted to know, but she held back. Instead, she held Siwon’s other hand, as if that one simple touch could make Siwon feel her love.

…wake up…my love…

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A week had passed yet Siwon was still asleep. The doctor had assured them countless of times that he will soon wake up. Yoona would have believed him so, if not for the gloomy exchange he and Mrs. Choi would often do. She tried to shoo the feeling away, and focused more on Siwon.

For the last week, there wasn’t a day that Yoona would go to the hospital. She would have wanted to leave school and be with Siwon, but she as well as her aunt, Tiffany and Mrs. Choi decided against it. Besides, Siwon would scold her if he finds out.

Yoona had spent the entire day at Siwon’s side, talking to him and holding his hand. She tried to liven up her voice, even if it cracked here and there, as she tried not to cry. As the night grew deeper, she fell asleep still holding Siwon. Her head lay at the bed.

As the light streamed down, illuminating her face, she woke up. She straightened in her seat and glanced across the empty room. Perhaps Mrs. Choi went out to eat… she thought. She looked sideways and was shocked to see Siwon, already seated at the bed, eyes open…wide awake!

Yoona could not contain her happiness that she jumped up and gently hugged Siwon. “oppa…I’m so happy…oppa…”

Yet Siwon did not respond. He did not even seem to hear her, did not return her hug. She broke from the embrace to see him staring at nothing, his eyes blank, emotionless.

“…oppa…?”

As if on cue, he looked at her, his stare bore through her. “…why…why…” he whispered.

“…why can’t I move my legs..?”

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haven't updated for a while. this fic is gonna end soon...i'll keep posting as soon as i can :D.