"True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart."

- Honore De Balzac 

CHAPTER 20

The stadium was booming with supporters from the two teams. The spectators were chanting cheers and encouragement for each of their teams, all the while holding pompoms and banners colored with blue and red.

The noise intensified when the teams arrived on the court. A large mascot of a blue cheetah and a red bull entered first, followed by the teams they were representing. Siwon’s team were wearing blue, while the opposite team were wearing red.

The blue team gathered round, their faces contorted with concentration, eyes sparkled with adrenaline and the drive to win their first game. They were ready.

Siwon faced his team. He was in the middle of them, eyebrows puckered, eyes sharp. With all the command and authority he was born with, he spoke.

“Team, this is the first game of the season. Yes, we have been champions for the past years. We have overcome our weaknesses, both as a team and as an individual. However, expect that our nemesis have become quite strong as well. They are eager to beat us, pound us. Team, we must not let our guard down. Am I understood?”

“YES!” the team shouted.

“YES!” Siwon punched the air. The members punched the air as well.

“OKAY TEAM! LETS GO!” Siwon then ran, followed by his team, on the middle of the court.

Siwon positioned himself in the middle, against the other team’s member. They looked at the ball that was held up high by the referee. When the referee tossed it up, the two players jumped, their hand trying to reach the ball. Siwon smacked it with his palm, towards s.

And the game begins.

Siwon’s team were swift. They immediately scored in the first five minutes of the game. Their supporters cheered more than ever. The ball was passed around the five of them accurately, and shoots it without glitch. Points after points were accumulated in favour of them. They did not give the other side the chance to even score half of their score.

The game continued in favour of Siwon’s team. The opponent was already exhausted trying to catch up.

Siwon dribbled the ball, the other team was trying to block him, seeing the opponents were focusing on him, all of them as a matter of fact, Siwon passed the ball to Kyuhyun. He caught it, and a second before the whistle blew, signalling the end of the game, he managed to shoot it from the three point line.

 With a total score of 123-49, Siwon’s team declared victory.

The crowd erupted with an ear-splitting noise. All blue banners were raised up to the air. The team was all smiles, as they gathered around Kyuhyun and ruffled his hair. Siwon was smiling from ear to ear too. He looked at the crowd, waved back to those people who shouted congratulations at him. His gaze unintentionally travelled towards the far left of the stand.

And he felt his heart stopped.

 A girl was standing on the railings; her hair was laid down to her shoulders. She was staring at him, but then she looked down. When she raised her head again, she smiled.

God, how he missed that smile...

“HEY!”

His gaze was interrupted by a strong slap on his back. He almost fell through the ground.

“idiot, we’ve been calling you for a while now. Don’t you want to go already?” the person who smacked him was none other than Eunhyuk.

He wasn’t listening. Siwon threw a sharp glance at him, and then returned his eyes to the girl. But she wasn’t there or rather, a girl he did not recognize was standing at that place. Was she only a product of his imagination? A mirage?

He felt a strong tug from his right hand. Eunhyuk was trying to force him to move. “you’re too heavy.”

Siwon looked at him oddly. “Eunhyuk, did you see her?”

“who?”

He looked back to the stands. “Yoona...”

Eunhyuk craned his neck as well. He shook his head. “NO, I don’t see her. You’re being delusional. Let’s go. We don’t have all day you know.”

Siwon let himself be tugged away by his best friend.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Where should our celebration be?” Sungmin asked the group.

The five of them were walking towards the back exit of the stadium. Kyuhyun was trying to tie his loose hair; Eunhyuk was on the phone, talking to Tiffany, Leeteuk was just walking nonchalantly. Sungmin, on the other hand, was looking at the whole lot of them, trying to hear out suggestions. Siwon was in space.

“ Captain?” Leeteuk interrupted Siwon’s line of thought.

He seemed startled at the interference. “Huh? What is it?”

Kyuhyun sniggered. “Did the zombies steal your brain captain? Anyway, where shall we celebrate our victory? The four of us couldn’t decide where to go, so we were asking you, but you seemed so occupied. Any place in mind?”

Siwon couldn’t think of any at the moment. “well,...ah...I think at Kona beans’ would be----“

“There’s no need for that.” Eunhyuk interrupted him. He was looking at Siwon oddly, like he was in for a little secret.

“What do you mean hyung?” Kyu asked.

Eunhyuk smiled teasingly. “What I meant is, there is no need for Siwon to accompany us. See, he has to do something more important than hanging out with us.”

Siwon gave him a questioning look. As far as he was concerned, his schedule was clear. No appointments whatsoever. “What are you talking about? Stop speaking in riddles.”

Eunhyuk’s smirk got wider. “I think someone would like to talk to you...” he moved sideways.

Siwon stand rooted to the spot. He felt his chest gave a wild beat. Illuminated by the midday sun, hair blowing past her face, eyes full of apprehension, lips curving with a hesitant smile, Siwon saw Yoona walking slowly towards them.

Siwon could not believe his eyes.

Eunhyuk tapped his shoulders. “See you soon.” He and the other three walked past between them. They waved their goodbyes to Yoona and Siwon, all the while smiling sheepishly.

When the two of them was left alone, Yoona took a tentative step forward. She glanced at him, and with an unsure voice, she spoke.

“H-Hi...”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yoona looked at Siwon’s face. He was staring at her; his expression was both surprised and hard. He did not respond to her greetings, instead, after looking at her, he averted his eyes sideways, as if she was a painful sight to see. This made Yoona feel so anxious and so sad.

She smiled a little. “congratulations...you were really good back there...”

Still Siwon did not look at her. “you watched...it was you...the one I saw from the stands...”

Yoona looked down. “Yes...”

The two of them became silent. They were standing apart from each other, listening at the wind’s soft rustle. Yoona gazed at Siwon’s face. He still wasn’t looking at her. Was she too late? It hurts to see him like this, and it pains her to realize that she was the reason why Siwon had become hostile towards her. Her mere troubles were the cause of their wrecked friendship. And now that she had decided to fix everything, she was faced with the realization that what she had done was unfixable.

Yoona couldn’t stand it any longer; she reached out and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. The latter looked at her hand.

“...I pray for you to have the strength to win these games...congratulations...and good luck...” she then removed her hand from his shoulder and started to walk away.

“You are running away from me again Yoona...”

Yoona stopped. His voice was heartbreaking. She remained standing, her back facing Siwon. The irony of all ironies, she wished him strength, yet she herself couldn’t muster such to face him.

She heard the crunching of gravel beneath Siwon’s feet. She remained still. He was walking away, perhaps away from her. The silence was unbearable when she realized that she could no longer hear Siwon’s footsteps. He had left her.

A pang of ache hit her hard. So this was it. Goodbye.

It was moment before she decided to move.

“Don’t”

Yoona felt her eyes widened with astonishment. The voice came from her back. Siwon did not walk away from her. He walked towards her, and he was now standing a few inches away from her own backside. She heard him breath, the air coming from him hitting the rear of her head. A tingling sensation came running down her spine.

She remained still, unsure of what she must do. Should she turn around and face him? Or should she continue running away? Neither option was acceptable.

She took a small step.

“Don’t”

And to Yoona’s surprise, two long arms crushed her with a tight embrace. He was hugging her from the back; his torso pressed against her hunched back.

With a pleading voice he spoke, “Do not run away from me again. I forbid you to do so. If you keep on trying to escape, I swear, I will chain your arms with mine, that even if you walked farther away, I’ll just pull the chains and you will come crashing down to my arms again...”

His head then dropped to her left shoulder.

Yoona raised her right hand and placed it at Siwon’s, her fingers interlocking his. She let her left hand fall to his hair. She heard him sigh. With a soft voice she spoke,

“...Chain me if you want, just make it a little shorter than the distance between us now, so you can pull me a lot easier, and so that I can return just as easy towards you...”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yoona felt the breeze upon her face. She was sitting at a bench in the park, the same park where Mr. Cat and Honey was residing. Siwon and she decided to visit them, but they were unfortunately absent. Maybe they went strolling, the two of them concluded.

A cold object on her cheek made her head turn. A can of sweating Pepsi was pressed in her cheek. When her eyes travelled up, she met Siwon’s smiling face. He was the one holding the can. She returned the smile and accepted it.

Siwon then walked around and sat beside her. He opened his own can and drank from it. She opened hers too.

The two of them were silent. Yet it wasn’t the same silence before. It was a comfortable one, free of all unspoken apprehensions.

Yoona looked at him. His expression was the same as the one he had when he was playing the piano at the music room, or rather, it was the same one he had before he played that song..

...the song...

At the mere thought of it, Yoona felt this ache again, but she tried to suppress it.

“Are you alright?” Siwon looked at her with concern.

She tried to smile. “...yeah...” she then stared at him, hard.

Siwon was rather startled. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

Yoona tried to open , and then closed it again. She hesitated, but it was now or never. “Siwon...that day...in the music room...that song...”

Siwon saw her flinch at her mention of the word.

“...where did you...how...where did you learn to play that piece?” she looked down, her gaze unable to meet his.

She did not see the effect it had on Siwon’s own expression. “The love that was mine.”

Yoona’s head bolted up. She found it hard to utter a mere sound. The title of the song...he knew it...but how?

Siwon did not meet her questioning face. “I was the one who gave it a title, two years ago...” he turned his head and met her confused eyes. He knew that everything he was telling was creating a great havoc within her.

He grabbed his bag and opened it, looked through it and recovered the one he was searching for. He handed the music sheets to her.

His eyes did not left her as she opened the folded sheets with trembling hands. He saw her eyes starting to well up as she recognised Donghae’s penmanship. The tears started to fall down as she saw his familiar signature-L. D., the very signature he used when writing letters for her.

Siwon reached out and wiped the tears with his own hand. “Please...don’t cry...”

Yoona looked at him. “Where did you get this?”

With a heavy sigh, he started to tell her everything, his eyes never leaving hers as she listened. When he finished, he looked away and closed his eyes. “It’s yours, the song, the sheets, it was all made for you...I’m sorry for making you feel distressed...”

Yoona was silent. A moment had passed before she answered. “Siwon...look at me...”

Siwon opened his eyes and looked at her. She was staring at him softly.

“Siwon, I was a slave of the past. The product of those experiences before had created a vast whole within me. My parents had left me, as well as the same person who wrote this song, that one person who had given me the courage to face life after my parent’s demise. I had loved him with all my heart; he was the hope I had. So when he was taken away, that hope had vanished as well, leaving me with nothing but an empty soul...” her eyes started to wet again.

“I managed to live comparable to a dead leaf, flying whichever the wind chooses to bring me. The pain had consumed me whole. I feed myself with the memories I had with him. It is painful, but it was the only option I had to keep on living. All sorts of emotion had vanished, leaving me with nothing but pain... and then you came...”

Yoona raised her hand and placed it at Siwon’s cheek. The latter held the hand caressing his face.

“You were irritating, annoying, you were the very object of my hate. You are the very opposite of me. You are always smiling, and I hated that too. I thought before that you were a person who did not have to suffer the way I did. You’re clueless. Why do you have to be always positive? Always optimistic, when there is nothing to be cheerful about? I always wanted to slap you with the harsh reality that is life. And then, out of the blue, you offered me the very thing I was so eager to detach myself with. Friendship. I don’t need your company, I do not want it, yet I considered it.”

“I accepted your offer, merely because I wanted to pay you. I don’t like debts. When I was with you, I realized that you were the nosiest person I’ve ever met. But as time passed, I started to appreciate the kindness that you had showered upon me. Your childish self had released the emotion I thought I had forgotten. See Siwon, I started to enjoy your company, much to my annoyance. Your friendship was the very thing that made me  forgot, for the time being, the pain that I was suffering. For the first time in two years, I smiled, laughed. I was happy.”

Yoona glanced down, and then looked at Siwon again. She appreciated him not interrupting her. She needed to get everything out.

“but everything came back to me again when I heard this song being played by you. I remembered everything, from the first time I met him down to the last moments of him breathing. I found it absolutely absurd, to actually recall everything because of what you did, when you are the very same person who made me forget about it. I realized that the pain did not left, it was just buried. I was still ruined inside.”

“I ran away, without giving you a proper explanation. I became the person I was before I met you; at least that is what I made you believe. Honestly Siwon, I acted like crap to you because I wanted you to hate me, to forget that I even existed. I thought that it was the only means of paying you back, for all those things that you had given me. I do not want to bother you with my own still wrecked self.”

“a ridiculous excuse if I may say so. I am a foolish coward. I hide behind those petty excuses. The real reason why I acted like that towards you, or should I say the real reason why I was like this for the past two years, was because I am afraid...”

“I am very frightened. I did not let myself get involved with anyone because I am frightened of them leaving me in the end. See, I was afraid, that if you, Siwon, who had become an important piece of my life, discover the me that was still in the midst of insanity, will leave me. So I left first, in order to protect myself. I was selfish...”

Yoona looked at Siwon solemnly. “I am sorry....”

Siwon closed the distance between them, put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her. Yoona cried in his chest.

“Thank you for returning these sheets...I thought Donghae was punishing me when you played that song. How did I dare to forget his memory? But no. It seemed like everything was placed in its proper order when you told me the brief encounter you had with him. He gave you these sheets, I met you, you played it in the piano, and I heard it, the song that was created originally for me. It wasn’t for the purpose of castigating me; I think it was to remind me that in order for me to move on, I needed to see the things that reminds me of him as a thing of the past, that I must not live in it, and that I needed to recall it as a happy memory, not as a painful one. It was all about acceptance.”

Siwon cupped her face with his two hands. He smiled at her. “He was a very nice lad. I’m sure he wants you to be happy. So from now on, promise me that you will never cry again, and that the smile in your face must not vanish. Okay?”

Yoona smiled. “okay...”

“pinky promise?” Siwon lifted his little finger and offered it to Yoona.

She laughed. “you’re crazy.” She lifted her pinky finger too and crossed it at Siwon’s.

Siwon pinched her cheek. “you’re a real cry baby aren’t you?”

Yoona’s eyebrows met. “Yah! Aishhh! I really hate you!”

Siwon laughed and reached out, hugging her close again. Yoona returned the embrace. “I really appreciate the honesty Yoona, and I will never leave you. I will always be by your side, I promise. Even if you do not need me anymore, I will still be here.”

And just like Donghae, only death can make me leave you. That’s how much I love you. Siwon added in his thoughts.

...only death, that is...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope you like the update!