"Let the world stop turning, Let the sun stop burning, Let them tell me love's not worth going through. If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, The only dream that mattered had come true ...In this life I was loved by you."

- Bette Midler

CHAPTER 32

“what are you gonna do with those balloons?” Siwon pointed at a pair of balloons in Yoona’s hand.

“I will use them later. don’t ask.” Yoona declared, smiling.

Siwon raised his brow.

“you will find everything later.”

“that.” Siwon pointed at her. “is what mystifies me. You suddenly planned on having this trip. Where are you taking me?” Siwon asked for the tenth time. They were riding a public bus instead of using his car. It had been an hour since then. He had no idea what Yoona was thinking.

“Haven’t I told you before? No questions.” Yoona smiled, enjoying his unsurpressed curiosity.

He sighed. “this is making me feel weird. Come on, where are we heading?”

“secret.”

“so, are you kidnapping me then?”

“yes.”

“you really don’t have any plan on enlightening me, don’t you?”

she laughed. “come on. Don’t give me that face. It won’t make me tell you.”

“Fine. Until you tell me where you are taking me then will I speak—“

“we’re here.”

“—again. Huh?”

Yoona tapped a button to make the bus stop. She took his hand with her free hand, stood up, and dragged him out of the bus. When Siwon felt the gravel under his shoes, and when the bus immediately went away after them getting off, he could smell a faint, salty breeze. He looked around, and found that they were standing before a nice looking house. He squinted a little. He had an inkling that nobody lives in the house.

He turned his gaze to Yoona, to ask her what they were doing here, but he swallowed his words upon seeing a single teardrop on her cheek. When she glanced up and found him staring at her, worried, she immediately wiped it off and smiled. “I look stupid..”

He smiled and squeezed her hand. “No. but why are we here?”

“well, we talked didn’t we?” she inquired.

The day they got back together, they spend half of the night talking. Siwon explained everything, his fears, his worries, the box, the pictures, as well as what he heard from the conversation with Henry, he let everything out. Yoona in return, told him her thoughts too.

“you told me that if you had the chance, you wanted to become a big part of my past, that you wanted to know the me before. So, here we are.” She spread her hand towards the house. “my old home.”

Siwon swept a warm glance towards her, then the house. “so this is your plan.”

“well yeah...shall we go inside?”

She took out a key from her bag and inserted it on the door knob. It opened with a gentle creak. Inside was a spacious sitting room, the furnitures covered by white fabric. Dust covered the place, signifying that it was uninhabited for years now. They toured the place, with Yoona talking animatedly about the memories she shared with her parents. In every room and space they went to, Yoona had something to share. He knew that those memories sadden her, but he also saw how happy she was at finally talking about it. It was perhaps what she was waiting for, someone whom she will tell everything without inhibition.

It wasn’t a big house, but it wasn’t small either. He could imagine the glory it had before Yoona’s parents died. He could almost see her laughing with her parents on the dining table, sharing about some funny anecdotes.

“I miss this house.” Yoona declared after maing herself comfortable on her old room’s sofa.

“Don’t you wish to live here again?” he asked.

She slid her head to his shoulder. “I intend to live here, as my parents named this to me. I was planning to raise my family here.”

“really? Well, this place is nice. Our kids would love it here.” He looked at her sideways and smiled.

His statement made Yoona look at him, unsure whether he was just pulling her leg or he really meant it. “our kids? stop kidding around.”

Siwon raised his brows. “I’m not kidding. I am planning to marry you.”

Yoona felt the hair on her nape rise as she looked at him. He was serious. Talks of the future made her feel quesy for no apparent reason. Maybe because she knew, for certain, and based on her own experience, that in life, there is no guarantee. She laughed softly. “You’re too ahead. I’m afraid I would get left behind.”

“you’re doubting me?”

She sighed. “of course not. But saying things as if it will really happen makes me frightened. I’m sorry, it’s just that...we won’t know what will happen in the future...”

“so you don’t want to marry me?” he asked slowly.

“of course I do!”

“then why this sudden uneasiness? I know we’re still young, and that it will take years before we can actually do it. It may sound cheesy, but really, I’ve never been so completely sure about anything else, other that the prospect of spending my entire breath with you by my side.”

Yoona fell silent as she gazed at him. There was no trace of mild uncertainness. It took her breath away, as what he had said went straight through her heart. What did she do to deserve this kind of man?

“I’m not going anywhere, you know that, right?” he asked her in silence. “I will only leave when you yourself would send me away.”

“that won’t happen.” She said indignantly.

“then...” he stood up in front of Yoona, and to her utter surprise, fell on his knees. She couldn’t move as he looked straight into her and smiled. He then took her hand and squeezed it. “then...will you marry me Miss Im Yoona? In ten year’s time?”

“what are you doing? Are you crazy?” she doesn’t know what to do. She was half amused and half perplexed. All that she mustered was a small laugh.

“Don’t laugh. I’m serious. Will you marry me after ten years?”

Yoona just stared at him for awhile. All of the laughter vanished as she answered, “of course. Yes. I’m going to marry you... in ten years time.”

Siwon’s smile grew wider. He stood up and pulled her with him. “I couldn’t yet give you an engagement ring. But it sure will follow.”

“It’s alright. Your shotgun proposal was enough to sweep me off my feet anyway.”

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The wind blew past as Yoona opened the sliding door. The classroom was empty, as it was the weekends. She walked inside and smiled to herself as memories came flooding back. She inhaled the salty breeze coming from an open window. It had been two years, but still, nothing had changed.

“still the same...”she whispered.

“what is?” asked Siwon from behind, who had followed her inside. They came to Yoona’s junior high school, and decided to stop by the classroom where she had taken some of her lessons.

“the school. It felt like I hadn’t been gone for a long time...” she sat at the furthermost desk, where she had taken residence two years ago. It was still brown and slim and ragged. She scanned the top and found a message which read, Yoona loves Donghae. She laughed softly.

“something’s funny?” Siwon asked, who seemed a little oblivious of what she had seen as he was busy with ruffling some papers on his hand.

“nothing. What’s that?” she asked.

“some dusty music sheets I found at a nearby table.”

“probably a student left it there. What’s the score?” she asked, while busying herself with writing something on the desk. Since Siwon was a little away from her, he couldn’t make out anything that she had been doing.

“F. The owner must have invented notes that were out of this world.” Siwon looked up at Yoona. She was pretty occupied with her own thoughts while staring at the sky. She looked peaceful and serene. “a penny for your thoughts?”

Yoona slowly turned her head and faced him. She smiled. “I had a little flashback.”

“about what?”

“about some random things that had happened here in this classroom, in this school, and how it had affected not just me but the people around me. I just realized it too, that everything that I had been through, had led me to you.” she stood up and raised her hand, beckoning him to her.

He smiled a tender smile, and abruptly made his way towards her. He held her hand and smiled. He did not utter a single word, for he knows that she still has something more to say.

She stared at him. “I have to take you somewhere. It’s the last stop of this trip.”

“where are you taking me then?”

“you’ll see.”

Yoona walked forward, taking Siwon with her. She then opened the door and went out.

A smooth breeze came inside the classroom as Yoona and Siwon took their leave. The music sheets which Siwon had left at a nearby desk came flying down to Yoona’s desk. It rested atop it for a while, until gravity had pulled it towards the floor, revealing a small, yet clear carved writing.

Yoona loves Donghae, but she loves Siwon now, so she is going to send him her last farewell...

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“we’re here.” Yoona spoke with a smile on her face.

Siwon glanced around, wondering why they were here, as well as admiring the view before him. The salty breeze coming from the blue sea was calming. The water was clear and inviting, the sand before it was white and tiny, and sparkles whenever the sunrays hit it. He breathed in and turned to look at Yoona.

“this place is beautiful.” He uttered.

“yes.” She answered dreamily.

“but what are we doing here?” Siwon asked, a little bit distracted at the balloons she was holding. He doesn’t know what she will use it for.

She did not answer for a short while. “This place is where I and Donghae used to visit.” She then looked at him, studying his expression, but it seemed that the information didn’t bother him; instead, he was plainly curious. She continued. “this place holds a special part of my life and my heart, the witness of the love me and Donghae had shared.” She glanced up again, and saw Siwon looking intently at the sea.

“was it hard? Coming back here again?” he asked.

She sighed. “no. It isn’t. It might have been hard before, but it isn’t now. This place is so dear to both of us, me and Donghae, that’s why I decided to give my last farewell here, before the sea, before you.”

“farewell?”

“yes. The purpose of this trip was for you to visit my past, but I have another agenda as well. I have to say my final goodbye to the person that I had loved before, at a place where that love had blossomed to its fullest.” She grasped Siwon’s hand and gently guided him forward. Without a single word, they walked and stopped before the shoreline.

She took a piece of paper from her right pocket, fully aware at Siwon’s searching eyes. She held it up and tied it gently to the balloons. When she was sure that the letter was completely sealed by the ropes of the balloons, she held it up forward.

She then held Siwon’s hand tight, and let the balloons go.

She watched as it soared through the glistening sky, remembering the day where Donghae had given her his last letter. It was by a kite, as if a letter who had come down from the heavens. So she decided to send her last letter this way as well, but by balloons, hoping that the message would reach Donghae...

To my dearest Donghae oppa,

How long has it been since I realized that I had fallen in love with you?

I don’t know. I just realized one day that I was unconsciously writing your name below mine, with a heart in between. I used to curse my own hand, for impulsingly writing your name. I would try my hardest to erase it, but tough luck, your name was already written in my heart.

Being with you was the happiest I had ever been. From bestfriends to lovers, from silly fights to sweet, make-up kisses, you always make my day perfect. You always seemed to glow, your cheerful self makes all my worries vanish into thin air. I loved you so much that parting from you was incomprehensible.

Of course, I thought too that what we shared would last forever, that you would never leave my side. But fate had somehow interjected. Or perhaps fate had its own plans.

Nonetheless, whatever reason fate had, I cursed it. You got sick, so sick that it pained me to no end seeing you suffer. I hated the heavens at that time, why, why you? they’ve already took my dear parents from me, but why would they take you as well? you, who had become my savior, my life. You, who had granted me the happiness I doubt I could ever have after my parents left me. why you?

I cried from behind your back, hiding my tears from your perception. I wanted to be strong, for you, for me. And even if I was sad and angry, I prayed. I prayed for you to recover, kneeled and prayed for you to come back from health, even asking Him to exchange my life for you.

But they still took you away from me. I was broken beyond repair. After you left, I decided to kill myself, because I could no loner carry the pain. But I remained alive, and from their on, I lived by means of your memory. Feeding myself with everything that we had shared.

Two years.

After two years, I wasn’t able to move on. I was binded by my past, by my pain. No one could free me, no one could distract me from my thoughts of you. until Siwon came.

He made me smile again, made me happy. He made me feel love and beloved. With him, the pain I had gone through had gradually diminished, until it all vanished. It was him who caused me to free myself from the shackles I had binded myself with. It was him who let me feel life again, the one who gave me the courage to open your last letter.

The letter which contained your last farewell.

As a response, I sent you this last farewell of mine. I loved you, and you will forever be a part of my life. Thank you for loving me and giving me one of the most memorable moments of my life. But I have to close the curtain of our story now, and open the one with me and Siwon in it. Your last wish had been granted, I have met a man who could love me and whom I could love even more. I consider Siwon as a Gift you had given. I will treasure him, the way you would have wanted me to.

And you’re right too; I have to let you go.

Goodbye me dearest oppa, and thank you very much.

                                                                                                                                                                YOONA

The balloons had now become a mere dot from her sight as it flew higher. She did not move, nor speak, until it had vanished from her vision. And as it did, a feeling went inside her...an abrupt feeling of being completely free.

She turned and faced Siwon, who, at the same time, turned his head towards her. “Saranghe...”she whispered.

Siwon smiled and hugged her tenderly. “saranghe...”

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I'm really sorry for not updating for more than two months.. I was really, really, really busy with school! :D