"The human heart, at whatever age, opens to the heart that opens in return."

- Maria Edgeworth

CHAPTER 13

Yoona walked slowly towards him. Siwon was sitting at the gutter, face turned toward her, smiling. Yoona did not smile back, because she was worried. Why did he come so late in the evening?

Yoona continued to stare at him. She was somewhat towering him, since she was still standing. He studied his face. What had happened?

Siwon spoke. “Sorry Yoona-shii, for waking you up.”

She should be angry, for he interrupted her sweet slumber, but instead, she sat next to him, in the gutter. She looked at him. “Why did you come here?” she asked. Now that he was near, she clearly saw every line of Siwon’s face. His hair was a bit messed up, the buttons on his inner shirt hanging loose. There were stressful lines in his forehead, and his eyes, are red.

He was smiling, yes, but it was the first time Yoona saw Siwon so worn-out, so tired, so...unhappy, unlike the usual sunny, cheery Siwon she was used to. His overall expression bothered her.

“I want to see you. I didn’t get to see you today. Did you eat lunch with Eunhyuk and Tiffany?” he asked, perplexed at the look on Yoona’s face.

“Yes...” she whispered. She continued to study him, as if she was dissecting a piece of frog. There was a look of mild concern on her face as well.

“What?” Siwon innocently asked.

“something is wrong with you.” It wasn’t a question; it was a statement, a decree.

Siwon averted his eyes. He looked down, his scarlet eyes on the ground. “...no...Nothing is wrong with me...”

Yoona looked away; she did not press the matter.

They were silent for a long while.

Yoona chanced a glance at Siwon. He was looking at the land opposite, deep in his thoughts. He is here, with me, but his mind is wandering elsewhere. Yoona thought. Her eyes involuntarily travelled down. It stopped in the pocket of his pants, where a piece of paper was protruding out.

“what...is that?” she cautiously asked.

Siwon woke from his thoughts and looked at Yoona. He then followed her vision.

“This...” he took the thing out carefully. He showed it to her. “It’s a picture of my... family...” he cringed at his mention of the word family.

 Yoona looked at the picture. There are four people in the photo. A beautiful woman was sitting at a wooden stool, smiling, and was hugged in the shoulders by a boy in his early teens. The young boy was smiling, similar to how Siwon smiles.

“who’s this?” Yoona pointed at the boy.

“my older brother, Kangta.” He answered, he had this weird expression again.

“I didn’t know you have one.”

A hand was placed at the tip of the woman’s shoulder, which she presumed as Siwon’s mother. The owner of the hand was standing near her, all lean and smiling. Yoona now knew where Siwon got his looks. Siwon was a living replica of his own father.

Siwon’s father was holding the hand of an adorable child, not less than ten years of age. The boy’s free hand was holding his mother’s. His face was plastered with a very cheerful smile, the very same smile she had seen from the young man seated next to her. So this is Siwon when he was still a kid.

The picture depicted a very happy family. But she wondered why Siwon is keeping this old picture, when she was sure his family could have taken a more recent one.

She voiced her question out. “You were so young here, I suppose a more recent family picture is pasted somewhere in your house?” she looked at Siwon.

He again averted his eyes, but before he could do so, she noticed a flash of emotion. Was it.......agony?

It was a moment before he answered. “That is the last family picture we took.”

Puzzled, “what do you mean...?”

He released a heavy sigh. He brushed his two hands in his hair. He then stared at her, hard. “...that is the last family picture we took...before...before everything had gone so wrong...before...father and Kangta-hyung died.”

Yoona was utterly stunned.

Siwon looked down. “Today...is the very same day the two of them died, eight years ago.”

Yoona was speechless. “is that why you are absent today?” she asked carefully.

“Yes...me and mother visited their graves...we have been doing that for eight years...”

Yoona could feel his pain. The excruciating pain of losing people that was so dear to you, both at the same day, at the same time...

Tears were starting to well up her eyes as she remembered her loving parents. She blinked them away. Now she understands why he was here so late, why he looked so depressed and why his eyes were red. He wanted to get away from everything that reminds him of his loss; he probably wanted to get away from his mother, because he doesn’t want her mother to see him in this state. He wanted to be strong for his mother, even if it is just for show. He went away because he wanted to cry.

Yoona understands all of this. She had been like him.

She looked at Siwon, her eyes mirror his pain. “I’m sorry...”

Siwon smiled bitterly. “Do you know Yoona-shii...?” he spoke so low it was almost a whisper.

“...they were murdered in front of me...”

Yoona gasped. His revelation made her senses go numb. She stared at Siwon, her expression is that of pure shock and terror. Words fail her.

Siwon continued to mumble, as if even until now, he couldn’t fathom what had happened.

He gripped Yoona’s shoulder, as if supporting himself. Yoona was still in a state of utter disbelief.

“...I was ten...and that person murdered Appa and Hyung in front of me...and it was my fault...” his eyes were closed tightly, as he spoke to Yoona. He released everything that was making his heart so heavy for a very long time. For the first time in eight years, he told another person everything that had happened....

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