"Love is the only gold." - Lord Alfred Tennyson

CHAPTER 19

Yoona was sleeping soundly at Siwon’s arms, while he was knocking on the door of her house. After a few seconds, he heard light footsteps from the other side, turned the knob and opened the door. It was Yoona’s aunt. Her face was plastered with worry, then, upon seeing the both of them, especially Yoona, her worried expression turned into relief.

“Oh my God...what happened to her? I was so worried...” she touched Yoona’s pink cheeks. She then gestured Siwon to come inside.

He followed her. “...ma’am...she drank twelve bottles of soju all by herself. Good thing the owner of the stall called me...”

Yoona’s aunt sighed. “What is her problem now...see...she would never do this unless she’s carrying something heavy...the last time she did this was after the funeral...”

Siwon did not respond. He kept on glancing at Yoona’s lovely face.

“Here we are...” Yoona’s aunt opened a door on the second floor. It was Yoona’s room, Siwon assumed. He entered. The room was simple yet clean.

“You should lie her down on the bed while I go and prepare a basin of water. She needs to be cleaned up.” She then left.

Siwon walked towards the bed and slowly placed Yoona on it. She stirred. He sat on the bed and quietly stared at her sleeping face. Without thinking, he reached out and touched her cheeks lightly. She had been through a lot, and had been keeping whatever pain she had all by herself. He felt like he was crumpled inside. If only those pains could be transferred, he would, without hesitation, accept all of it.

His attention was so fixed at Yoona he didn’t notice her aunt, standing just a foot from the door, carrying a basin full of lukewarm water. She was watching Siwon for a while, her lips curving into a little smile as she recognized the meaning of the boy’s every action.

“Dear...” she said.

As if struck by lightning, Siwon immediately stood up. He looked at Yoona’s aunt, smiling shyly. The lady returned the smile in an understanding manner. “I need to clean her up...you can stay at the living room...I want to talk to you if you don’t mind...”

Siwon nodded. With a final glance at Yoona, he backed out of the room, went downstairs and settled himself on the sofa. Thirty minutes had passed before Yoona’s aunt went downstairs and faced him.

The Lady smiled kindly. “I’m sorry for making you wait dear...do you want some snacks? Coffee?”

“Coffee is fine ma’am”.

The lady then went to the kitchen. She was carrying two mugs of hot coffee when she returned, gave the other one to Siwon, and sat opposite him.

“can you please tell me everything Siwon?” she asked softly.

Siwon told her everything that had happened. When he finished, the lady sighed heavily.

“Thank you Siwon, for bringing her here, what could have happened if she was left alone at this hour? I was frantic...I couldn’t call her because I left it at the office. You’ve saved Yoona from fatal danger two times now. Really you’re an angel.”

Siwon was quite embarrassed. “Oh...no...ma’am, I just did what any concerned friend would have done.”

“You can call me ‘aunt’ to, that ‘ma’am’ makes me feel old.” She laughed. Her face became anxious when she stopped. “see, Yoona is the only family I have and I’m the only one she have. She does not have any friends, or rather; she does not want to involve herself with anyone. So I was quite surprised when she decided to be friends with you.”

“Well, I was shocked too aunt.” Siwon laughed.

The lady laughed as well. When it had died down, the lady sighed. “That girl had suffered so much that she had closed her doors to anyone. You see dear, she had been left behind, by the people that she had loved before. The last time she got herself so drunk was after the funeral of her parents and of that boy.”

Siwon remained silent. He was stunned when Yoona’s aunt mentioned about funerals. He didn’t know that Yoona had to go through all this. The agony of losing her parents, and that boy she had spoken of earlier, Donghae.

The lady sipped her coffee. Everything was momentarily quiet. Then, the lady glanced at him. “A few years ago, her parents were involved in a road accident. Both were killed when a truck runs them over. She saw everything with her own very eyes.” She paused and shook her head. Siwon was again stunned at the revelation.

“I took care of her after that. I knew my niece very well, but after that accident, she changed. Drastically. She wasn’t that cheerful young girl anymore. Her sunny and gentle appearance was replaced with a blank one. I was really worried. I’ve brought her to places and gave her things, but she did not return to her original demeanor.”

The lady continued. “but then she met that boy. Her medicine as I would call him. His name was Donghae. He was the one person who managed to bring the Yoona I have missed so much. With him she was happy again, smiling, and laughing her heart out.  That boy was special. Specifically for Yoona.” the lady stared at him straight to the eyes and smiled bitterly.

“he was her first love...” she paused. The words lingered to Siwon’s system. First love. He already guessed what had come to pass afterwards, and he felt the ache Yoona must have felt when it happened.

“but he was diagnosed with heart cancer. After a few months of fighting the disease, he died. All the people who knew him, was sad. But it was nothing compared to how devastated Yoona felt. See Siwon, he was the reason why she decided to live again, normally, happily. But like her parents, he was taken away from her too...” she breathed out, as if the memory was suffocating her.

“...and she returned to her secluded self. Shutting out everything around her. it was much worse than before. Her stare was blank, her face expressionless. It was like all hope had gone the same as all people that she had loved so much had gone...she couldn’t face living afterwards...”

“Then one day, everything became so painful for her to bear...her...” the lady couldn’t continue anymore.

Siwon’s mind was spinning fast, and it landed to a certain memory at the school’s infirmary. He was grabbing Yoona by the arm, preventing her to fall from the floor, when his eyes travelled down to her wrist. There was a thin disfigured line on it, a scar. Siwon was wide-eyed with utter disbelief as he realized where she had probably got that scar.

He breathed heavily. “did she...did she attempted to commit...suicide...?”

The lady looked at him, her expression affirmative.

Siwon inhaled sharply. “...I...I didn’t know...”

The lady held his hand and squeezed it. She looked at him. Her expression was that of worry and understanding. “She is special, not only to me but to you as well. I know child, you see her more than just a friend. I know the look you gave to her earlier. I hope whatever you feel towards my niece won’t waver. Siwon, make my Yoona happy again...”

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Siwon couldn’t sleep.

He was lying on his bed, eyes wide. He could not forget everything that the lady told him. he still shivered at the thought of Yoona attempting to kill herself.

He stood up and walked towards the glass wall. Seeing yet unseeing the surroundings. He was both worried and bothered about everything that he had been told. Yoona’s face when she told him about those people who left her kept clouding his mind. She must have loved him too much...that up until now she couldn’t move on; she couldn’t let his memory go. Upon such thought, a pang of sadness greeted him. Would she ever love him the way that she had loved Donghae?

...Donghae... he did not give much attention to the guy before. But now that he’s alone, he could clearly now process the feeling he had when Yoona mentioned his name. Donghae. He found it strange, but he had this inkling that he had already heard that name.

He then remembered Yoona’s reaction when she heard the song that he had played in the music room. It still was a question to him as to why she responded to the song that way. It was a happy song, one that expresses love, so why did she run away? Was she actually running away from thatmusic?

Still baffled, Siwon sat on his bed. His eyes travelled down to the last drawer of his bedside table. A memory then flashed through his mind. The last drawer, it was where he had placed the music sheets of that song...

He instantly opened it up. After removing some papers, he found it. The music sheets were a bit old. Notes after notes were scribbled down the paper. He liked this song, so he practiced it on the piano, whereas the original composer wrote it using his guitar...

His eyes widened when an image of a boy playing a guitar came across his thoughts. His eyes scanned the paper, looking for that familiar signature.

He inhaled when he found it. On the last page, at the lower left corner, written in bold, were two letters.

L.D.

He brushed his hand on his hair. As he realized what those initials stands for...

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(Two years ago)

Siwon was sitting on a bench at a playground, reading, when he heard it, a faint melody. A beautiful one at that. His attention was caught entirely by it. He stood up. He turned his head, trying to locate the source of such music. His eyes stopped at a boy sitting cross-legged on the ground, plucking his guitar and writing something on a piece of paper.

He walked towards him. “what’s the title of the song?”

The boy stopped playing, raised his head and stared at him. He gave him a questioning look.

“oh, I didn’t mean to pry, I just heard this melody and...yeah...here I am”

The boy smiled. “It’s okay. I’m almost done anyway.” The boy then looked at his music sheet. “It doesn’t have a title yet.”

“It’s an original then.”

The boy smiled, embarrassed. “yeah...I was trying to be a composer for the first time...I hope she likes it...would you like to see the sheets?”

“sure” Siwon sat to the ground as well, next to the boy. The latter passed him the sheets.

Siwon looked at the music sheets. He was quiet impressed at what the sheets contain. The notes were arranged to reveal the emotion of the song. Even without actually playing it, he can imagine what it would sound like. He didn’t realize that he was already drumming his fingers, as if he was actually playing the song on his piano.

The boy noticed his hands. “Wow, you’re a musician.”

Siwon looked at him “huh?”

“You were tapping your fingers. As if you’re playing the song I created on a ghost instrument.”

Siwon smiled. “I’m not a musician. I just love playing the piano. Anyways, you’re composition is really good.”

The boy smiled shyly. “Thank you...I hope she likes it too.”

“To whom is this dedicated to?”

The boy looked far away, his expression dreamy. “Well, it’s a surprise for my girlfriend. A gift for our 100^th day of being together. She’s special, so I made this song as special as possible.”

Siwon smiled “I can see you really love this girl.”

The boy smiled. “yes. I do.” He paused. “but I still have a problem though. I cannot think of a proper title. Hyung, is ‘I love you girl’ okay?”

“ehh...a bit common.” Siwon replied.

“I thought so too.”

Siwon looked at the sheets again. The lyrics were written just below every note. “How about, ‘the love that was mine’?”

The boy’s face brightened up. “oh, that’s good. The title of my song is ‘the love that was mine’” he clapped his hand.

Siwon smiled then looked at his watch. It’s time to go.

“I must go now.” He stood up.

The boy looked at him and stood up as well. “hyung, thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything. ” Siwon then gave the music sheets back to him. But the boy did not accept it.

 “You can have it hyung...”

“What? No.”

“Please hyung. It’s the first time I met a fellow music-lover. Plus, you helped me with deciding the title of this song”

“Are you sure?” Siwon smiled.

“Yes. I’ve memorized it by heart anyway”

“I will really play this piece on my piano.” He looked at the sheets again. He noticed two bold letters at the lower left corner of the page. “What does it stand for? L.D.”

The boy looked at where he was pointing. “oh, those are the initials of my name. Lee Donghae.”

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Yoona opened her eyes.

She sat up, rested her back on the headboard and clutched her head. it was bursting with extreme ache. It was a moment before everything that had happened came back to her. she looked around. How did I get home? She asked herself.

There was a knock on the door. her aunt entered, carrying a tray of food and medicine. She placed it at Yoona’s lap.

Yoona immediately grabbed the food and ate. She realized that she was really hungry. When she finished, she took the medicine. the effect was fast.

“How’s your head?” her aunt asked.

“It’s getting better.” She looked at her aunt.

“Why did you get yourself drunk Yoona?”

She looked away. “...I just...I just wanted to forget everything...”

“It’s never the solution Yoona. I hope you know that.”

She looked down. “I know...aunt...” she looked back up again. “...how did I get home...?”

Her aunt sighed and started to tell her everything that had happened. But she skipped the part where she and Siwon had this conversation afterwards.

Yoona was silent. So Siwon was the one who took her home. She had told him to never interfere with her again, yet he was the one who helped her get home safely. Her heart swelled.

“Yoona, I hope everything’s okay between you and him. “

Yoona looked strangely at her aunt. How did she...

“I know something’s off between you two. Judging from what you did last night, I know he was part of the reason you drown yourself with alcohol. He’s a very nice guy. I hope you at least consider that. Do not be afraid to let yourself enjoy his company. Do not let the past hinder your happiness.”

Yoona again did not answer. The words of her aunt hit her straight.

“you are not a coward.” Her aunt then left her.

She stayed at her bed. The words of her aunt repeating like an echo in her mind. Her words and the things that had happened between her and Siwon flashed like a movie before her. How he made her laugh, get irritated and even cry. She knows that she had been so foolish as to let someone who changed her, for the better, slip through her hands. 

She stood up and stared at her own reflection in the mirror. To her surprise, her lips curved into a thin smile.

She had finally made a decision.

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I'm sorry for the late update.