Mark hyung seemed so much more exhausted... we never talked about what happened when I was in the hospital. After we fought... And now our members are injured and in pain or traumatized. I looked at him, we might be idols but that doesn't mean we are safe. What if one day one of us dies?

I never got to tell him how I felt about him... What if I don't get that chance? I looked down at my feet.

 We were going to the dorms together. He was being paranoid now. He is afraid if he lets someone out of his sight we'll disappear... 

Speaking fo disappearing... I'm worried about Taeyong hyung... What if we can't find him? I shook my head. I couldn't think that way. I needed to have hope he would be found and safe and sound with us.

I kept being reminded of when Taeil hyung was kidnapped. At least she was put in jail. 

.

.

.

wait... We never got confirmation she is in jail... There was never a trial. I suddenly got a chill go down my spine. "Mark hyung..." I said, my voice was filled with pure fear. He looked at me and I saw his eyes become filled with worry. "Hey, What's wrong?" He asked. "That lady that took Taeil hyung... Why did he not have to go to court for her?" I asked

He was about to answer but then stopped. "I... I don't know..." He said. We got back to the dorms and I went to my room. I laid in bed and closed my eyes for a while. hm... I smell perfume. It's a nice scent.

Wait. I shot up out of bed. Perfume. Why does it smell like perfume?

I heard a clatter come from the living room and Mark hyung shouting. I felt my heart racing in my chest. I looked around the room and saw a baseball bat. I grabbed it and held it very tightly. I slowly left my room and went to the living room, hiding behind a wall. I saw Mark hyung being choked by a woman. 

"You took Taeil from me... Now... now I will take your precious leader from you" She said laughing maniacally. "And while I did that I'll also take you away from your precious little boyfriend." 

I was shaking. I was terrified, I'm just a kid remember that. "Don't you ing touch Haechan or I swear to God I'll kill you!" He said. "I never mentioned his name dear" She giggled softly. "You and I both know you were talking about him. Even though we are just best friends."

Yeah.. we are but we'll talk about that another time. "He loves you though," She said "He loves me like a friend, same way I love him like a friend" I came out and swung the bat at her head, knocking her unconscious.

"Good timing," He said. I helped him up before I cupped his cheeks in my hands and kissed his lips for a brief moment. "I love you more than a friend you idiot but let's talk about that when things settle down." I grabbed some rope we use for when one of the members get too hyped on sugar or.. apple juice... yeah.

I tied her up and called the police. I glanced at him. He hasn't moved. But it was the look in his eyes that told me I was already being rejected. At least I told him and I'm proud of that. 

I patted her down and took out a key. Her key it seems. Taeyong hyung... "Haechan.." He spoke. "No hyung not right now," I said. The police came and took her away. I gave them the key and asked them to find Taeyong hyung. Then I went to change into different clothes and head back to the hospital. 

"Haechan. I can't" He said. "Mark hyung. I didn't ask you to do it. I just told you how I feel and if you don't feel the same then it's alright. We can stay friends." Good job Haechan. 

Now walk away. 

So I did. I walked to the hospital. "Haechan?" I heard someone call me. I turned and smiled "Hi Key hyung," I said. "Where are you off to?" He asked. "Hospital. I wanna check on my hyungs" I told him. "Oh well hop in then let me give you a ride it's getting late," he said. I nodded and got into his car. 

I looked out the window and listened to Key hyung talk about his dogs. It was peaceful. I felt relaxed. "Ah! why are you crying?" huh?

I touched my face and it was wet. I was crying. "O-oh... I didn't notice I was crying. "Haechan hey don't cry..." He pulled over and started cleaning my tears with a tissue. "My heart was broken today," I said. 

I was crying because my first kiss with the person I love is also the last one. I was rejected. He didn't love me. " Oh no, my poor baby who the hell hurt you? I'll beat their idiotic up!" He said.

"He doesn't love me back... What can be done about that?'" I asked weakly. "Oh, honey... Nothing can be done about that but time will heal that wound." He gave me a hug and drove me to the hospital. I left with a thank you and went up to Taeil hyung's room. 

I knew Mark hyung would be in Johnny hyung's room and I didn't want to see him. 

I waved to Taeil hyung who was holding Doyoung hyung in his arms, Doyoung hyung was asleep, I smiled at them. They were a sweet couple. I rested in the cot and closed my eyes. I was exhausted. Easily I fell asleep. 

~~~

I woke up after a while. Taeil's arms were around my waist. I couldn't help but smile brightly. I love being close to him. I kissed his cheek and he looked at me. "Hey you woke up," he said.

I nodded "yeah I am." I said. He glanced over at something. I looked over and saw Haechan asleep in the cot.

He looked exhausted.. and I was worried sick about him. "Is he ok?" I asked, concerned about his health. Taeil just shrugged.

"I'm not sure... He seemed off when he walked in here." He told me. Just then the door opened and Mark was there.

He looked at Haechan but he didn't come in. I looked at his expression. He seemed conflicted.

"He confessed.. didn't he?" I asked Mark. Taeil seemed confused but his eyes widened when he realized what we were talking about.

"Yeah... yeah, he did," Mark said. "I love him hyung. But as my friend and family."

I nodded. "I don't think so Mark.. I just don't think so," I said. He seemed confused. "You feel differently about Haechan then you do for the rest of us," I said.

"I just gotta ask you. When you are in the future a few years from now and accepting an award for maybe being an uprising soloist. Who do you personally imagine being by your side? Who Do You see in the middle of the night soothing your newborn baby back to sleep?" I asked.

He looked at Haechan again. "I imagine Haechan being by my side on that stage, I... Just don't know who I see soothing my newborn baby in the middle of the night." He said before leaving the room. "Since when did our group have so much drama?" Taeil asked

I just shrugged in response. "kinda like a drama though" I said. "Or A movie," He said "Maybe one of those fanfictions people make. " I thought out loud. He laughed.

"This isn't a fanfiction though," He said 

(....sure.... not fanfiction at all...)

"Is Haechan gonna be ok?" I asked him. "I don't know Dodo"

.

.

.

"Did you just call me an extinct flightless bird ?" I asked

"...maybe?" he said hesitantly I shook my head at him. He's such a cute dork. 

I kissed his cheek "You won't even break up with me right?" I asked. He shook his head "No way in hell. Why would you ask that? He held me close to him "I was just worried... What if SM makes us break up?" I asked. "We pretend to break up and stay together secretly," He said without thinking. 

"Or we leave the company. Find a company that can accept us being a couple." He said. "What if it came between us and our careers?" I asked worriedly. "I'd rather leave behind my career then leave you." He said without hesitation. 

My eyes widened "Wouldn't you?" He asked. 

I didn't speak. 

I didn't answer.

I couldn't say I would leave my career for him.

His arm on my waist loosened. 

"Doyoung?" He asked.

"No... I wouldn't."

~~~

Ah, Winwin came again! "Hey, Yuta!" He said with a bright smile. His smile is so pretty... "Hey Winwin, how are you and your boyfriend doing?" I asked. "I still haven't found him yet." He said with a sad smile. 

I... I wish he could forget about this guy... He deserves to be happy... and... I want to be the one to make him happy... He's beautiful... sweet, adorable, he deserves so much better than this boyfriend who just disappeared on him.

"Winwin... Maybe you should give up on him?" I suggested. His eyes widened "no! He'll come back! I know he will! His memories will come back!" he started tearing up and I panicked I didn't want him to cry!

"Winwin wait please don't cry I'm sorry!" I felt so bad. I didn't like seeing him cry. "I want Yuta back!" he said crying loudly. 

.

.

.

what? Did... Did he just say he wants me back? I felt confused now. 

"Winwin I'm right here... Are you ok?" I asked. "No, you aren't! Yuta you aren't here! You aren't my boyfriend! I want my boyfriend Yuta! I want the Yuta that loves me! I want the Yuta that protected me in that car crash! The Yuta who tried so hard to impress me even though my heart already belonged to him!" He sobbed

I couldn't remember anything though... Damn it! Let me remember! I want to remember him! I want to remember us! I was with him!

"Winwin... come here," I asked him. He was still crying but I gently wiped his tears away and kissed his lips tenderly. 

They felt so familiar, Like a piece of a puzzle. My eyes opened widely as all my memories hit me right then and there. 

Our kiss became more urgent, I pulled him closer, our lips pressed tightly against each other, he pulled away first, "oh Yuta!" he hugged me gently, "You're back! You're back... Thank God you're back!" he said with so much happiness. I felt relief hit me as I held him in my arms. 

I can't believe I forgot about my precious angel Winwinnie.

But no more forgetting. I love him so much. 

"I'm so so sorry I forgot about us Winnie, can you ever forgive me?" I asked him. "Oh Yuta of course I will, I love you. But I swear to God don't ever shield me again! What if you had died taking my injuries?" He scolded me. 

He's so cute when he's scolding me.

"I'll always shield you Winwin, I can't bear to see you in any sort of pain." I said honestly. 

"Yuta what if I had lost you? That pain would have never left me for the rest of my life." He said.

I didn't want to imagine it. I didn't want him to ever cry again. 

"Ok baby. I promise. I promise I'll never let you lose me. So please let me be your shield from anything that cna and will ever hurt you."

I looked into his eyes and my answer was a sweet wonderful kiss, from the person I love the most.