"Dahyun-ah..."

"Please unnie, let's not talk about it now. I don't want them to know and get worried. I'm okay, Nayeon unnie. I'm fine.... Let's continue or pretend a little bit then after that...."

"After that it will be real..." Nayeon ended her sentence making Dahyun widened her eyes and narrow her eyes on Nayeon. 

"Girls! We left some things over there! Get them and put it in our kitchen!" Mommy Dahee shouted at them. Dahyun is about to comply when Nayeon grasped her hand immediately, stopping her then she intertwined their hands together. 

"Stay..."

Nayeon stares longingly at Dahyun before she breaks it as she offers the flowers on her other hand. "For you, Kim Dahyun..."

Dahyun just stares the flower before looking at her, waiting for an explanation about this.

"I mean what I said. Let's stop this because this love is for real...." Nayeon brought Dahyun's hand to her lips, pecking it lightly then she looks up, meeting Dahyun's blank face.

"Dahyun.... I wanna make it up on you. Please let me..."

Dahyun continues staring at her with no reaction at all then she release her hand on hers, making Nayeon's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I-I don't know what should I feel... I really don't know what to answer as well... I'm confused, Nayeon unnie... I need more time to think... Also...." Dahyun stops her sentence breathing heavily before she continues "I want to give chance, Mina unnie..."

That statement totally made Nayeon lose her confidence and strength from the thought of Mina and Dahyun together. She expected this to happen. Dahyun finally realizes how bad is it to stay in love with somebody like her. 

"Oh..." Nayeon could only muttered. Dahyun just give her a small smile before she said "I want to think of myself now, Nayeon unnie. Over the years I'm pursuing you, only you I could think of... Maybe this time is the right time to think what I really want for my future..."

"Ohhh you're right, okay, that's good...but please do remember that----"

"DAHYUN! NAYEON! WHY YOU TAKING SO LONG THERE?! ARE YOU GONNA REALLY HELPING US?!" Mommy Dahee interrupted Nayeon. Dahyun just give her a pat on her shoulders as she says "We need to go help them. I said let's not talk about it, Nayeon unnie..."

Nayeon cursed in her head for not saying so early that she have to wait Dahyun letting her explain and apologize. 

'I won't give up on you, kid...'

______________________________________________
Luck # 20 : Only Longing Grows
(Nayeon, Immortal Song, 2016)
______________________________________________

During the whole time she stays in Kim and Yoo's Residence the two adults can't leave them alone as they talk about their lives like as a parent, in work, their past and mostly about their daughter, Dahyun.

"Say, Nayeon... What's your major again?"

"Uhmm... I'm major in Education." Nayeon shortly replied to them. The two gasped happily as they excitedly says their opinion "That's great profession! I heard from Dahyunnie that you are the student council president for the straight three years already, is that right?"

"Yes, that's right. I really wanted to devote myself when it comes to school. I'm having fun when I study so much and teach some I have learned to my friends or those struggling students so I can help them to get their grades higher. I wanna be a great teacher too when it comes to kids so they can bring it as they get old all the knowledge and lessons I want to share with them. Or simply, I want to help people succeed in their own lives... It will be super nice feeling when you see them succeeding..."

"Wow! You're really admirable, Nayeon. That's why our Dahyunnie here can't help but to fall in love with you instantly when she's so little and fragile..."

"Mooomm!!! Don't be like that!!" Dahyun whines cutely, leaning on her Mommy Yeonji as she blushes furiously. The sight makes Nayeon's smile on how Dahyun is really sweet and clingy in nature. 

"Do you know Dahyun can't stop talking about you like whenever we facetime or talk, she'll tell me what she did for you on specific day. We're really relieved when you accepted her. Thank you so much, dear.. 

Nayeon nervously chuckles and give them a smile when Dahyun whines once again, "Let's not talk about me, Mommy Dahee."

"Okay if you don't like, let's talk about you again, Nayeon..."

"Mooomm!!"

"We want to get know your dream girl here, Dahyunnie..."

Dahyun pouted cutely then continues leaning on her mom. "So what do you like about our baby? Why you agreed to be with her?"

"Eh?" Nayeon could only utter. 

"Honey, of course, that's too personal and only them who can know about that..." 

"What? I just wanna know, so Nayeon sweetie... What do you like about Dahyunnie?"

Nayeon look to Dahyun then smiles widely as she confess "I like the most whenever she smiles..." Dahyun shoots her a confusing look. Nayeon continues "Whenever I see her smile, it makes me smile too. My favorite is her eyesmiles, it's like it's her signature..."

"No, not that dear... We get it, Dahyunnie has killer smile... We mean is... how did you fall in love with our daughter?"

"Mom, my Candy Pop might get uncomfortable if you are asking those questions------" Dahyun says before Nayeon interrupted her as she answered easily...

"I fall in love with her when she got part-time job in near mall... When she became chicken mascot... dancing in whole crowd, making everyone entertained. My heart beats that time differently..." Nayeon confessed, making Dahyun caught off-guard and didn't expect to hear it from this talking session. "That time....I realized how I really felt for your daughter, Mrs. Kim. At first, I don't like her at all... I'm always this annoyed whenever she is around but as time goes by, it get lessen and then one day, I woke up and realize that I should love and appreciate her more then it came... I fall for her... and also she's persistent, I love that from her..."

Dahyun pushed her chair back and stood, her face is all flaming red, she said stiffly "S-Shall I pack out your things? It's getting late..." she stutters, avoiding Nayeon's sickening dumb smile. 

"Okay, if you want to. It seems you can't handle what were talking about. Go on, get back when you're finished."

Dahyun nodded eagerly then left rushly. The two woman broke into fond laughter. Nayeon was carried away as she says softly "She's so cute..."

It took a few seconds for Nayeon to realize that she was spazzing about Dahyun to Dahyun's mom, without Dahyun with them. She just gain confidence because the kid is with them and she wanted to let her know her true feelings, that's why she didn't hesitate to answer them but right now, she get shy so sudden.

“I-I-I-I-I’m so-rry… I wasn’t. I mean- It’s just that.”

Nayeon continued to stammer, for what reason she couldn’t explain. But all it took was one loving squeeze on her shoulder to reassure her, that she has nothing to worry about.

“You think my daughter is cute, there is no reason to say sorry.” It calmed Nayeon to see the smile from Yeonji. 
 

 “Please don’t be scared of me. I completely understand though. It was nerve wrecking to meet the parents of your someone.”

“You know, when Dahyun was younger she loves to visit Chaeyoung. But before we could even ask her what she did, she would start talking about this Chaeyoung's unnie..”

 
Nayeon lowers her head as she felt a blush rising up her cheeks.

 
“She would tell us everything, I mean everything about you. When you get a haircut, or what your science project was about, or even what song you hum while you’re thinking. Sometimes she would come home quietly, and when we ask her what’s wrong, it turns out that she wouldn’t see you that time.”

Guilt was starting to grow with Nayeon's heart. Nayeon perfectly remembered those days, during those times, she thought of Dahyun as nothing more but an annoying brat.

“Actually, we were worried about you.”

 
“What? What for?” Nayeon confusedly asked.

Dahee smiles again as the memories started flooding in. Jeongyeon have always been independent even when she was still young, but Dahyun was always their clingy baby. That she and her wife always has this feeling of wanting to shield her from heartbreak.

“I think it was our fault because we baby Dahyun too much, that’s why she acts like a kid all the time and also cause of the accident when she was young. But we or more specifically I can’t help it.” Dahee giggles. “No matter how old Dahyun gets, she’s always our baby.”

“It’s part of her charms but what do you mean accident?"

"Our Dahyunnie is actually different from what you get known of her. She's quite timid and smart kid when she's little. She's like a gifted child especially when it comes to piano... She's great pianist but she lose her ability to do so when she's involved into car accident when she's like ten? Some car hitted her so bad that cause concussion on her head and part of her brain didn't develop from that accident, that's why she struggles a lot learning some new things and she still acts the same... She pretty got traumatized from that accident that she doesn't want to go out at all as she imagine herself been crushed on those speeding cars..."

Nayeon remembers something...

'I'm not a kid anymore, Dahyun. I could go to school on my own. I don't need someone while crossing the street...

But I do....

What?

That's my biggest fear, actually... It's my first time to go out without someone when I come here to pick you up, hoping that we can go to school together... In my mind, I was trying to overcame this fear for you. Before, Jeongyeon unnie was always with me going to school, now that I have you, I actually want to do something new and this is it, picking you up from your house and then after going home alone after I safely take you back to your home...

Whenever I cross the street, I imagine there some cars speeding out of the corner and smash into me, I'm ending up rolling in the road as other cars ran through me.

Can I hold your hand?

No..

What you're doing?

I'm gonna hold your hand..

No!

'If you don't want to get smash by car, walk faster, eagle...'

Nayeon can't believe that was happened to Dahyun who seems her life is pretty full of fun and rainbows. 'Ah, she has reason why she wants to hold my hand or she's so close to me like koala whenever we're outside...'

Nayeon can't help to feel guilty from all the bad things she had said to the other girl and also the fact she force the kid to study harder when she's having a serious problem about it because of the accident makes her feel really small and undeserving she is to the younger girl.
 

 
The woman continues talking, not noticing how Nayeon's demeanour changed after telling about the accident, “We know how immature Dahyun could get, and from the way she was describing you, you sounded so mature. We were scared that Dahyun would get her heart broken. So, we explained to her at the beginning, that it’s okay if you wouldn’t like her more than a dongsaeng. There will be someone else who could love her completely---"

"I'm sorry...." Nayeon interrupted the older, making both of Dahyun's mom confused for a second before Nayeon revealed, "I'm sorry for hurting your precious daughter..... I'm very very deeply sorry...." Nayeon bite her lip, controlling the tears not to flow in her eyes.

The two still give her a questioning look then she explains, "I broke her heart so many times from the past... I didn't know how she suffer from all the acts I did... I didn't know her reasons behind, heck why she's so in love to me, I still don't know... I'm not very THAT amazing person,  I have a lot flaws and mistakes--" Nayeon stopped her rambling when Mommy Yeonji reached her hand and place hers on Nayeon's as she says.

"You know what she said to us? When we told her to be careful to get heartbroken because of you?”

Nayeon looked back with such curiosity at the beautiful lady, tears are evident on eyes, shining like a glass that hold so much pain as she waits..

“I would rather have a piece of Nayeonnie's heart, than have the entire heart of someone else’s.”

Nayeon couldn’t believe how lucky she is. The tears she holds long enough broke down and fall endlessly on her face.

“So, we knew she loves you even before we met you. So, thank you.”

“F-For what?”

“For being here and true with us but mostly loving our daughter completely..." A happy grin spread in both mothers' lips, Nayeon's lips trembling as she rebuts "But I hurt---"

"It's okay, Nayeon. Sometimes we do hurt other people but we hurt our loved ones at most... Also, we can see how much you love our daughter..."

Nayeon went speechless, listening the both of them, "We see you care enough to go here just to fix everything between you two or you just want to check Dahyunnie.. We can feel the tension... We've been there before too..."

 Before Nayeon could say her thank you, Mommy Yeonji's phone started ringing.

“Excuse me Nayeon.” She picks up her phone as she steps away for a bit. “Hello? Yes, we're okay Sir!"

"Sorry Nayeon, excuse us. I'll just like to talk to him about business matters too... Honey, can you give your phone to me!!!" Mommy Dahee also left.
 

“I’m bacckkk!” Dahyun says excitedly while trying to juggle three juice boxes on her hand “Hey… where’s moms?”

Nayeon didn't answer as she busily dismissed any tears on her face but Dahyun saw it then asked her with still a concern laced on her tone, she calmly asked "Why you're crying?"

Nayeon didn't answer her as she just  wrapped her arms around the kid's torso and pulled her in, burying her head against Dahyun's soft fabric sweater, crying again. 

"D-Dahyun-ah..."

"U-Unnie?"

"Dahyun, I'm very sorry...." Nayeon tightens her hold.

"Unnie.. stop.... stop crying..."

"Dahyunnie... Why you didn't tell me you have serious problem when it comes to studies, huh? Also, the handholding while in the streets? Why you didn't tell me you got into accident? Seriously...I'm losing my mind how ignorant I am like I felt I am the worst girlfriend ever or even just an unnie, I felt bad I didn't know that or I didn't know you at all like your childhood, your likes and dislikes, I don't know you... you only know me, not I know you... I realized how I'm underserving I am for you not knowing anything bout you but there is one thing I want you to remember...." Nayeon stops as she looked up with teary eyes and says wholeheartedly, 

"I will make myself better to deserve you, Dahyun..."

Dahyun almost, really almost lost it when Nayeon said it with pure fondness and determination but she didn't know what to say, she didn't know what to do as Nayeon held her closer, making mess in Dahyun's heart completely. She couldn't remember how self-control disappeared and how tears started to flow as well, she felt dam break and uncontrollable tears slide down on her face, she's utterly confused. This Nayeon who's hugging her is not the one who she dreamed to be hers, this Nayeon is totally way higher on what she expected from her... She looks so vulnerable and small watching her like this and honestly Dahyun didn't know what to feel.... when she's badly fighting her inner self to be strong enough not to give in and just tell her that she still love her but she need to do this, for herself, as Mina said she needs to love herself first. 

"I want to get know you better. For the whole time we're together, I don't know any single thing about you except that you love me so much.... so let me know you, Kim Dahyun... Your feelings, your opinions, your true self, your sides, good or bad, I wanna know everything about you.... Just bring me in your world that I never knew I would wanted and needed. Even only part of you, Kim Dahyun... even the tiniest part, let me have it..." Nayeon desperately said.

Nayeon's tears turn into sobs as she's gripping the kid like she's begging but she really is begging then suddenly the two adult witness the breaking scene before their eyes.

"Oh God! Nayeon sweetie, why you are crying? Dahyun?" Mommy Dahee reacted when she see the two young couple embracing with Nayeon's eyes bawling out of tears.

Dahyun pulled Nayeon's head close to her as she hides Nayeon's tear stained face as she announces, "We got emotional, Mama. We'll just go to my room to wash." Dahyun reassures with a tight smile. She whispered "Nayeon unnie, let's go up and dry your tears. Mama don't like seeing you cry too.."

Nayeon nodded against her abdomen then she stood, still hugging her with her head buried deep on the younger's neck. Dahyun caressed the girl's head softly before they left, bodies against each other as Nayeon doesn't want to let her go while ascending upstairs.

They carefully takes steps until they arrived at the younger girl's room without pulling out their bodies to each other as Nayeon buried her head more in the crook of Dahyun's neck. Dahyun still doesn't know what to do in this situation because this is actually her very first time to see the girl in her arms crying so hard especially because of her, she's not used to see Nayeon crying like this. 

"Nayeon unnie? Can you let me go?" Dahyun mutters softly but Nayeon heard it and quickly shakes her head as she says "No... I'm not gonna let you go now, Dahyunnie... not when you're slowly falling in love with my cousin...not when you're getting tired of me... No, Dahyun... I can't...." Nayeon said with shakiness. Dahyun doesn't want to see this, to feel this... as she can